A different kind of love
by mausna
Summary: Dixie has a new love interest, but when she gets attacked her world comes tumbling down. Luckily for her, Jeff is always by her side. Contains adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

Jeff sat on the sofa watching the racing and stroking Little Abs. His shift didn't start till late and Dixie was out at the shops so he had decided to use the opportunity to catch up on some of his prerecorded shows that Dixie never wanted to watch.

Deciding to grab a drink from the fridge he was nearly back in the lounge when the phone rang. 'Hi Dix, what is it?' He asked, secretly hoping she was ringing to tell him she was going to be later than planned and to make his own way to the ambulance station. Anything so that he could have a few more precious hours watching his shows.

'Hi mate, just to say I'm on my way back and I'm gonna head to the Chinese so I thought I should double check you want the usual?'

'Only if the usual is a naan bread, a couple of onion bhajis and some form of curry' Jeff said hoping he could persuade her to opt for an Indian instead.

'Come on Jeff, you know Chinese is my favourite'

'We had that 2 nights ago Dix' Jeff complained knowing this was probably going to be a fight he couldn't win.

'Well we'll have Indian next time, anyway I'm buying, see you in a bit, bye' and with that Dixie hung up not wanting to get into a lengthy argument.

'Bloody woman' Jeff muttered to himself. In truth, Dixie was his best friend and he loved her deeply, otherwise he wouldn't have stayed married to her so long after her dad found out that she was a lesbian, but like in any relationship, she could also annoy the socks off him!

'A Chinese and I'll have to turn my shows off' he continued to mutter whilst putting the plates in the oven to warm.

When Dixie returned a short while later they sat down at the kitchen table and started to share out the food, all the while Dixie telling Jeff about the 'rude shop assistant'.

'And then when I asked if they had the size up she only went and said 'I'm not sure we do jeans in your size madam, maybe try somewhere for older people who have gained a bit of baby weight, Bon Marche perhaps.' Bon Marche, I'll give her Bon Marche! I swear just because I'm not her tiny size 8! Do I look like I've had a baby? And as for calling me old! We can't all be teenagers with part time jobs!'.

Jeff had to hide his amusement. He would have loved to have watched that exchanged, although preferably from afar!

'No Dix, you look perfect to me, I wouldn't change a single bit'. He said hoping to cheer her up.

'Well you have to say that, you're my husband. Anyway, you haven't seen all my wobbly bits. Maybe I should go on a diet, I'm not getting any younger. I want someone to love me and look after me Jeff' she huffed before shoving a fork full of chow mein in her mouth.

'I love you and look after you' he said pretending to be hurt.

'You know what I mean, I want someone to be in love with me, I want to share my bed again, wake up to a kiss not a Labrador's lick!'

'Yeah and then I'll be out on my ear' Jeff thought allowed.

'You know I wouldn't do that. Although it was only ever meant to be temporary. That was over 4 years ago now'. Dixie could understand that Jeff was worried. Although they each occasionally brought other people home, if she did find someone special and wanted them to move in she didn't want to have to plan romantic evenings around when Jeff was going to the pub and would want to have the privacy to be intimate with them without the fear of being heard. Nevertheless, she loved Jeff and she would never want to hurt him, if she did find someone it would be a long while before there was any talk of him moving out and only ever after he found somewhere else to rent.

'Dont worry kid, you're stuck with me for a long while yet' she said trying to turn the conversation back onto a lighter note.

'Lucky old me' he joked quickly dodging a side swipe from his wife before they continued to eat their dinner in peace.


	2. Chapter 2

Jeff knocked on Dixie's office before going in 'you ready mate?'

'Yeah just let me grab my jacket' Dixie replied before walking off in the direction of her locker.

Once she was ready they headed off in the direction of the pub.

Upon entering the pub they saw some of the ED staff sitting in the corner and went over to say hello. Jeff then went and ordered the pints whilst Dixie went to sit with Zoe.

'How's your day been?' Zoe asked moving her bag out of the way.

'Yeah not bad, Jeff's been annoying me all day, but nothing out of the usual, yours?' Dixie replied.

Zoe gave a small chuckle 'Yeah fine, no busier than usual, glad it's over and I'm in the pub though!'.

Jeff came over with the drinks 'what are you two laughing about' he asked although didn't get much of a response so he continued with what he was going to say. 'Dix there's a woman at the bar, your age, rather attractive, and a little birdie tells me, likes women' he said before giving a little wink.

'So?' Dixie replied.

'I just thought after what you were saying last week maybe this could be your opportunity to you know...wake up to something other than a labrador's lick!'

'What's all this?' Zoe asked

'I said I wanted to find someone to settle down with' she responded to Zoe 'I wasn't however expecting my husband to try and match-make me with total strangers in the pub!' She continued turning to Jeff.

'Go on Dix, she could be the one, anyway what have you got to lose?' Jeff replied hoping she'd give her a chance.

'Jeff's right, if she's not your type you can always make your excuses or give us a look and we'll come and save you' Zoe urged trying to persuade her mate.

'Fine, but I warn you, if she ends up to be a total nutter you'll be cleaning the house for a month!' Dixie warned Jeff.

'Deal' Jeff agreed, knowing that she wouldn't keep him to it, well at least for no longer than a week.

The rest of the evening was spent uneventfully, Jeff and Zoe occasionally looking over at Dixie to see that she seemed to be getting on with the lady like a house on fire. At 11pm Jeff decided he was ready to go, not wanting to physically go and disturb Dixie he decided to send her a text.

'I'm off, glad to see you're having a nice night, enjoy x'

Dixie felt her phone vibrate, taking a quick peak at the message she looked up and smiled goodbye at Jeff, he really was a good mate.

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Next morning Jeff got up and went downstairs to put the kettle on. He hadn't heard Dixie come in last night and couldn't see any sign of her being up so went to knock on her door to see if she wanted a cuppa. Upon no response he decided to let himself in.

'It must have been a good night' he smiled to himself noticing that the bed hadn't been slept in.

After drinking his tea and having a shower he decided to take Little Abs for a nice long walk.

On his return he opened the front door to hear the radio going in the kitchen.

'Good night?' Jeff asked letting Little Abs off the lead and watching him run up to Dixie.

'Yes thanks' Dixie smiled back whilst bending down to give the dog a stroke.

'I take it you're going to see her again?'

'Yes, tonight if all goes to plan, thanks for giving me the push Jeff'.

'No worries Princess, just do me a favour will you?'

'What?' Dixie enquired.

'Find out if she's got a mate' Jeff smirked whilst dodging the tea towel that was being chucked at him.

Later that evening, Dixie came downstairs to hear a wolf whistle from Jeff.

'Looking good Princess' Jeff smiled looking her up and down.

'Thanks mate' Dixie smiled back. She was quite excited about this evening, Annie was lovely and although they were just going out for a casual evening she wanted to look her best.

Putting on her jacket she turned to Jeff 'I'm not sure what's happening tonight so don't wait up'.

'Ok but don't do anything I wouldn't do' Jeff responded with a wink.

'Well that gives me a lot of leeway!' Dixie chuckled whilst heading out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Jeff sat in the rec room at the station making the most of the peace and quiet, at least for now he thought anyway! The months had passed and Dixie and Annie grew closer. Jeff could see how happy Dixie was with most of her free time being spent with her at one of their houses. Jeff was glad that Dixie had found someone that made her feel special but he was beginning to feel slightly left out. He supposed that was inevitable and figured sooner or later he would have to start thinking about finding somewhere else to stay.

Just then Dixie came into the room 'come on mate we've got a shout, Grafton House, apparently it's on Cottage Lane. There is a 70 year old female who is experiencing breathing difficulties'.

'Right you are Mrs Collier' Jeff said before jumping up and following her out to the ambulance.

Jeff climbed into the drivers side whilst Dixie went around to the passengers. As they drove out of the station Dixie turned to Jeff. Looking slightly nervous she began to speak 'Jeff there's something I need to tell you'.

'What's that then?' He asked not liking the sound of this conversation.

'I've asked Annie to move in' she said biting her lip.

'And you want me to move out' Jeff stated saving Dixie the pain of having to ask.

'I don't want to hurt you, and take as much time as you need... I'm really sorry Jeff' Dixie ended quietly.

'Don't be Princess, I knew it was inevitable. It's time I stood on my own two feet' Jeff said trying to reassure Dixie, he knew this was hard for her.

'Like I said, take as much time as you need, find somewhere that you will be happy. I really am sorry mate'.

'Dix don't worry about it. It was only ever meant to be temporary. I can also sort out the divorce proceedings if you want. I could get used to being a single man again, walking around in my pants, not having to share the TV, a different girl every night of the week.'

Dixie could tell he was trying to make light of the situation to make her feel better. 'He really is a good man' she thought before continuing 'Jeff love I don't think being married has stopped you doing any of those things, well it certainly hasn't stopped you walking around in your pants, and I doubt you could get a different girl every night of the week anymore, you struggle with a different girl each year!' She laughed back.

'Na it's you Dix, your were cramping my style' he teased, glad that she appeared to be feeling better about the whole situation.

After driving for what seemed like ages they finally arrived outside a reasonably large house sat alone along a long, lonely country lane.

'Are you sure this is it? There's no-one here to meet us, I would have thought someone would have come out considering how isolated it is up here' Jeff said whilst turning off the ambulance and grabbing the bag from the back.

'This is it. I'm sure of it' Dixie answered whilst getting out and starting to walk towards the house.

Arriving at the front door Dixie tested the handle. Finding it locked she knocked loudly before calling out 'Ambulance'.

After a couple of seconds they heard a noise before the door was quickly opened. Before they could say anything else they were confronted by a masked man pointing a gun at them.

'Get in' he growled motioning them to move with his gun before quickly slamming the door and locking it behind them. Chucking their radios on the floor the man ordered them upstairs with Jeff taking the lead, closely followed by Dixie and the masked man.

When they got to the top they were told to go into the bedroom on the left. In front of them lay the lady at the bottom of the bed next to the window. In front of her was a small singular wardrobe which was opened. As Jeff slowly walked towards her he noticed that there was another masked man in the back right corner of the room standing over an elderly man. When he got to the lady he bent down to her left to check her over and noticed that in the wardrobe appeared to be a safe that she had obviously been about to open.

'Look at me sweetheart' Jeff said to the lady noticing that she was clearly focusing her attention on the man with the gun. The lady turned to look at him and Jeff continued. 'Do you have asthma because that's a bit of a wheeze you've got there?'.

'Yes' she nodded.

'Do you have an inhaler?' He continued.

'Run...out' she wheezed.

'She needs a nebulizer' Dixie said to the masked man behind her 'it's in the ambulance'.

'No, you're not going anywhere' he growled.

'Without it she could die' she explained gently.

'No' he growled louder shoving his gun into her back. Jeff saw this and feared for Dixie. He knew she wouldn't let it go, not when there was a patients life at risk.

'Is it salbutamol you need?' Jeff asked, forming an idea. The lady nodded.

'Dix, I know it's not ideal but do you have your inhaler on you'.

'Yes it's in my pocket' Dixie replied catching on to what Jeff was thinking. 'I'm just going to get my inhaler out of my top pocket and pass it to the lady' Dixie said, making sure the man with the gun in her back knew exactly what she was doing.

Getting it out she walked slowly over to the lady, taking the cap off she passed it over. The lady shook it and took a couple of deep breaths, beginning to sound almost instantly better.

'She still needs to get checked over at hospital' Jeff said although secretly thought it futile.

The man ignored him 'go and stand over there' he said to Dixie, pointing at the corner at the far end of the room, the other side of the bed to the old man. He then turned to the lady 'now open it', his gun moving from her to the safe and back again. The lady crawled over and typed in the numbers hearing the click before turning the little nob that opened it. 'Empty it onto the bed' the man ordered.

Once the lady had emptied the safe she was told to go and sit with her husband. At this point the other gunman took out some plastic ties and began to tie her wrists and ankles together, the same as her husband.

'You, empty your bag' the lead gunman ordered Jeff, which he did, putting all the medical supplies on the floor next to him. 'Right now fill it with them' he said motioning to the jewelry and money that the lady had put at the bottom of the bed.

When Jeff had done this he was ordered to go and stand by the doorway. Fearing what was going to happen next he did as he was told only to find his hands being tied behind his back by the second gunman. Feeling the barrel of a gun in is back he was shoved out of the door and pushed to the ground to the right of the doorway. The gunman then used another tie to attach him to the radiator.

'Right, now for some fun' the lead gunman said whilst smirking. Sitting by the doorway Jeff couldn't quite see inside but could hear everything crystal clearly. The idea of the man now having 'some fun' worried him. Dixie was in there and although he couldn't do much to help he would have felt better being able to see that she was relatively safe.

'Now when we arrived we were a bit disappointed about the entertainment this place had to offer, but lucky for us we now have a nice fresh faced paramedic to keep us company if you know what I mean' the man said before both gunmen started to laugh.

'Don't you dare touch a single hair on her head' Jeff shouted the fear of what they might do to his best friend coursing through him.

'So we have a tough guy' the man mocked before walking out of the room, turning to Jeff and kicking him hard in the stomach. 'What are you going to do about it anyway, all tied up, you're no use to her now' he continued before giving Jeff another kick and heading back into the room.

'Take them off' he said, pointing the gun at Dixie's trousers.

'Please no' she begged, tears starting to fall at the thought of what was in store.

'TAKE THEM OFF' he shouted, this time walking up to her and putting the gun to her head.

Dixie started to remove her trousers. 'Please don't hurt me, please' she begged, her eyes blurring from all the tears.

'Take off yours boots, I want the trousers off all the way, and your pants' the gunman continued.

Once Dixie had done as asked she was pushed towards the door.

Jeff looked up as he heard people moving towards the open door. Out came Dixie, half naked and with a gun in her back. Jeff could see her visibly shaking and her body racking with her sobs.

'HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO HER!' Jeff shouted tears starting to fall down his own face, whilst be pulled against the radiator trying to break free.

'Just thought I should let you see what you're missing out on' the man mocked before shoving her back inside and onto the bed.

'JEFF' Dixie screamed, which broke Jeff's heart in two. As hard as he tried he couldn't break free. He knew he had to calm her down though as the harder she fought the more it would hurt.

'Dixie, Princess, listen to me, I'm here, I'm right here' Jeff called trying to sound as calm as possible.

'NO NO NOOOOO' he heard her scream before she started to sob again and call his name.

'I'm right here Princess, I love you, remember that' he called tears streaming down his face, thinking that this may well be the last time he could say it to her.

Over the next 15 minutes all he could do was talk to her, try to reach her mentally through the pain and fear. He told her to think about Annie and Little Abs, about her friends in the ED, about basic CPR, what to do with a patient who was having a seizure. He went through anything and everything that she could repeat over and over in her head, going through things she knew so well that she could try and focus on them instead of what was happening. Whether it was making even the tiniest bit of difference he didn't know, but at least she could hear his voice and know that she wasn't alone. Inside he thought that control must be wondering where they were, why they hadn't updated them and just hoped beyond hope that they had began to investigate - not that he wanted to mention this to Dixie, not with the gunmen listening that is.

Finally, it all sounded like it was over, and he heard footsteps coming towards the door once more. This time however it was both gunmen, looking at him the lead man gave him one last kick before walking down the stairs with the other man in tow. Jeff bent over double from the searing pain in his stomach, nothing near to what Dixie must be going through he thought though. After hearing them moving about downstairs for about 10 minutes the front door slammed shut and the house fell into silence other than the sobs coming from Dixie in the next room and the sound of a vehicle pulling away,

Dixie lay on the bed, her body bruised and beaten and her spirit ripped in two. More than anything she wanted to feel herself wrapped up in someone's arms, Jeff's, Annie's, the old couple's on the floor next to the bed, she didn't care, she just wanted to be held.

'Dixie' she heard, loud enough to draw her attention but not too loud in case one of the intruders was still outside.

'Dixie, are you tied up' Jeff called.

Dixie tried to answer but she couldn't, she felt paralysed with shock. Jeff called again but this time the old man answered instead. 'No she isn't'.

'Ok Dixie do you think you can move' Jeff called again. He sounded very professional, the paramedic in him taking over.

'She's in shock' the elderly man called. 'We're tied up but physically there's nothing stopping her' the man told him.

'Ok well then Dixie, do you think you can try and sit up'. Jeff called again in a calm, clear voice. Dixie was their only chance of getting free, of radioing for help but with her in such a state he wasn't sure if it was possible.

'Dix, can you hear me? Can you try and sit up' Jeff tried again. He didn't know where the gunmen had gone or if they would come back so it was important they got free as quickly as possible. That said, there was no point trying to rush her, she was in shock so needed to be treated gently if they were to make any progress.

'She's looking your way' the elderly man called again, noticing Dixie turn her head in the direction of Jeff's voice.

'Good girl Dixie' Jeff encouraged, 'now do you think you can try and sit up'.

'Can't' she muttered, the elderly man repeating it so Jeff could hear,

'Yes you can Princess, I know you can, just put your arms back and push up.' He said.

Dixie listened hard to what Jeff was saying. She knew she had to try with all her might but her body felt so shaky that she thought would fall down again any second.

'She's doing it' the older man shouted through.

'Excellent Princess, well done. Now try and move to the edge of the bed'. This she found easier although Jeff's next request sounded a lot harder. 'Now try and stand up'.

'Can't' she began to sob 'My legs are too shaky'. She knew it was important and yet her body was letting her down when she needed it most. Letting them down.

'It's ok, don't worry, you're doing really well. Do you think you can crawl instead?' he suggested, hoping that this basic action would be primitive enough to pierce through her shock and upset.

Dixie got onto her hands and knees and started crawling to the door. Jeff could hear her movement and was so proud of his wife.

'Where do you keep your scissors mate?' Jeff called to the elderly man, hoping that they were close enough for Dixie to fetch without having to wait too much longer.

'There's a pair in the bathroom to the right, in the medicine cabinet. They're only small though. The better ones are in the kitchen.' the man called back.

Jeff was shocked when Dixie came through the door. He had seen people who had been attacked before, but seeing the effects on someone you love, that was totally different. He could see bruises beginning to form on her legs where they had been held open, and blood trickling down the inside of her thigh. Her face was scratched and her hair was disheveled, but it was the damage to her spirit that hurt him the most. He knew Dixie would normally be mortified by the idea of crawling round half naked in front of anyone, but at this point she just didn't care. Getting dressed would take too much co-ordination and Jeff knew that he would have to help her with that after they were all free.

'Jeff' Dixie began to cry.

'You're doing really well Dix, just a bit further, just to that door' Jeff tried to encourage her, not wanting her to breakdown now.

Dixie continued to sob as she made her way to the bathroom. As Dixie got to the door and went inside Jeff began to give her more instructions.

'Ok Princess can you find the medicine cabinet?'

'It's the one with the mirror on the front' called the elderly man. 'There is a radiator underneath that you can pull yourself up on or a sink to it's right'.

Dixie managed to pull herself up on the sink and held onto the radiator whilst opening the cupboard.

'They're on the inside of the door at the bottom' the man called again.

Dixie found the scissors and lowering herself back to the ground once more she began to crawl back to Jeff.

'Fantastic Dixie, you've done really well' Jeff said when she arrived back at his side.

He then leant forward as much as possible so Dixie could reach round and cut the plastic tie that was holding his wrists together.

'I can't, I'm not strong enough' she cried, as her hands were shaking too much to allow her to push down hard enough on the scissors.

'Yes you can Dixie' Jeff urged, not wanting to have to send her down to the kitchen for the better pair.

'I can't' she wept again.

'Princess look at me' Jeff said turning to face Dixie. 'Look at me'. Dixie knelt back and turned to look at him. 'You can do this, I know you can. Look at how much you've done already! Just get the scissors and put the plastic right into them, then keep doing small cuts until I'm free. Ok?'

Dixie nodded. Wiping the tears from her eyes to get a better look she heard Jeff say 'good girl' before leaning forward again for her to have another attempt.

This time she did exactly as Jeff had told her and with one final cut his hands were free.

Knowing that he could take over, her grief finally overwhelmed her and she broke down. Jeff turned around and took Dixie in his arms, cradling her on his lap, leaning against the radiator once more.

'Shhh it's ok, it's ok, I'm here, I'm free' Jeff softly told her, kissing her forehead and pulling her tight to his chest, ignoring the pain in his stomach.

'Jeff' Dixie continued to sob, clinging onto his jacket and feeling his head resting on top of hers, his tears dampening her hair.

After a short while Jeff began to relax his grip on Dixie. Taking her head in his hands and looking her in the eyes he began to speak. 'I need to go and get the radios now so can you try and crawl back through and cut the ties off the couple. If you do the man's wrists first then he should be able to do the rest, ok?'

Dixie nodded so Jeff gently helped her to move off his lap before he stood up and walked down the stairs. At the bottom he found the radios by the side of the front door when the gunman had chucked them after letting them in.

'Control to 3004 are you receiving?' Said a concerned voice.

'3004 to control, we need urgent police and medical back up to Grafton House on Cottage Lane'.

'3004 why have you been unreachable? We have already sent the police to investigate, they should be there soon.'

'There were 2 gunmen who have now fled. Dixie has been attacked, she is in urgent need of medical attention but it is non life threatening. The lady with breathing difficulties has been treated as best we could. There are 4 of us altogether.'

'Ok 3004 I am dispatching 2 more crews now'.

'Thank you' Jeff responded before taking the radios and heading back up the stairs and into the bedroom where Dixie was sitting with the elderly couple, the man currently cutting the ties off of his wife.

Walking up to Dixie, Jeff put out his hand. 'Come on Princess, let's get you sorted' he said, helping her to stand up and slowly leading her to the bed, all the while supporting her with his arm. Once she sat down on the edge of the bed Jeff went searching for her clothes and boots, finding them in the far corner of the room where she had been standing whilst he was taken outside. Picking them up he walked back to Dixie and knelt down in front of her. Dixie was still in shock and although she was a bit more co-ordinated now, he could tell that she would struggle to get dressed alone. Taking her underwear he gently lifted each leg into it before pulling it up to her thighs. Next he picked up her trousers and once again lifted each foot into them before taking hold of her underwear again. 'Dix, do you think you can stand up?' Jeff asked gently and felt her hands on his shoulders as she said 'yes' through her tears before starting to move.

When she stood up Jeff quickly pulled her pants and trousers up, doing them up before getting her to sit down again.

Taking her socks, Jeff carefully put them on before putting each foot into her boots and tieing the laces.

Just as he finished he could hear the sound of sirens and going over to the window he saw a police car arrive and park up behind their ambulance.

'It's the police' he said whilst walking up to Dixie. 'Im just going to show them where we are' he continued before walking out the door and down the stairs.

When he reached the bottom step the front door opened and in came two male police officers.

'We're upstairs' said Jeff turning around and leading them into the bedroom.

Dixie sat quietly, tears sliding gently down her cheeks. She was relieved to see the police officers and was hoping that the ambulance would arrive soon to take her away. She heard Jeff tell them to give her a few minutes so watched as they went over to speak to the elderly couple whilst Jeff made his way back towards her. As Jeff sat down she turned and leant into his arms, feeling him tighten them more than usual. She was glad Jeff was here with her, holding her, protecting her as best he could. Leaning in through his open jacket, she could feel his heart beat through his shirt, the strong beat helping calm her whilst she listened to Jeff's soothing words in her ear.

'Thank you' she whispered, just loud enough for Jeff to hear.

'What for?'

'Everything'. She knew it sounded trivial but he had done so much that she couldn't begin to explain. Reassuring her through the attack, being with her, helping her through her shock and fear, comforting her, loving her, holding her.

'You don't need to thank me Princess, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than right here with you'.

'You can't mean that' she said, not after what they'd just experienced.

'I'd rather be here with you, than let you go through it alone' he said back before kissing the top of her head. He might not have been able to protect her, but he could love her and surely, right now, that was the next best thing.


	4. Chapter 4

Arriving at the hospital Jeff was taken into cubicles, whilst Dixie was taken into a private room to be examined.

Sitting on the bed Jeff couldn't quite believe what had just happened, before he could think about it too much though Charlie arrived.

'Hi Jeff, how are you feeling?'

'Fine thanks, I have quite a bit of pain in my abdomen where one of the bastards kicked me several times but other than that it's Dixie who you need to worry about'. Jeff said trying to remain calm.

'Don't worry Zoe's with her, let's just take a look at you for now. Can you lift your shirt up so I can take a look please'.

Jeff did as asked, no longer paying attention to Charlie instead letting his mind begin to take in what had happened over the last few hours. He could still hear Dixie's cries for help, calling his name and there was nothing he could do. 'I couldn't protect her' he whispered.

'Sorry what was that?' Charlie asked gently.

'I couldn't protect her' Jeff said again a little louder, a tear sliding down his cheek. 'She was calling my name and I couldn't get to her, I couldn't stop them, I couldn't protect her'. With this he started to cry, it had finally got too much and he broke down.

Charlie could not imagine what he had gone through but he could guess that he had tried to stay strong for Dixie's sake and now finally he could let it all out. Jeff was his patient but he was also his friend so putting his arms around him he held him as he cried.

'Sorry' Jeff said pulling back after a short while, wiping the tears from his eyes.

'Don't be. Dixie might have been attacked but you had to sit there and listen to it knowing there was nothing you could do. That must have been extremely difficult, and then to stay strong for her until she was safe in the hospital, I'm not sure I could have'.

'I didn't even put up a fight though, not until I was tied up at least. Maybe if I'd tried to over power one of them, if I'd got a gun I could have stopped them, but instead I just let them...' He trailed off continuing to blame himself.

'Then you would have been shot and not only would Dixie have been attacked but she would most probably have had to watch you die in front of her as well. There was nothing you could have done.' Charlie tried to reassure him.

'You weren't there, you don't know' Jeff said defiantly.

'Maybe I wasn't, but I know Dixie, and I know she hates you playing the hero for fear that you'll get hurt, and I also know she wouldn't want you to blame yourself like this.' Charlie tried.

Jeff knew deep down that Charlie was right but even though he knew it, he couldn't quite believe it.

'She's gonna need you Jeff, now more than ever. If you can't stop blaming yourself for you then do it for her because she's going to need you to be strong'. Charlie hoped that this would persuade Jeff if nothing else would.

'You're right, I know you are, it's just gonna take some time.' Jeff said before exhaling deeply.

'If you ever need to talk, if you need someone else to be the strong one for a while, you know where I am'. Charlie said, not wanting his friend to feel that he had to bottle everything up,

'Thanks mate' Jeff said. 'Can I go and see Dixie now?'

'Not before a quick scan' Charlie told him. 'Think of it as time to get yourself together'.

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Dixie lay in the hospital bed feeling worn out. Evidence had been collected and her wounds had been treated. She had been given the morning after pill and Annie had been called. All she wanted to do now was go home, but she knew that would be a long time coming because she still had to speak to the police.

Just then there was a knock at the door.

'Annie' Dixie whispered. Annie came in and briefly just stood looking at Dixie before seeming to compose herself and going over to the bed.

'How are you?' Annie asked not quite sure what to say.

'Scared' Dixie responded before starting to cry. Annie took her in her arms and just held her, only letting go when the tears began to slow.

'You're still here, that's the main thing' Annie said, kissing her head and rubbing her back. 'How's Jeff?'

'Ok I think. I haven't seen him since we arrived here'. Dixie said hoping that she would get to see him again soon and check that he really was ok.

Just then a female police officer knocked on the door. Coming in she came up to the end of the bed and began to speak in a soft voice. 'I have come to take your statement if that's ok. If you aren't ready we can do it at the station later, or your house, whatever you prefer'.

'No do it now, I just want to get it over and done with' Dixie said. She knew she stood the best chance of remembering everything if she did it now, by tomorrow she could have forgotten something crucial, something that could make all the difference.

'Shall I leave?' Annie asked looking at Dixie.

'No stay' Dixie didn't think she could get through it without support.

'Ok, well I should tell you my colleagues have been interviewing the elderly couple and apparently they have been burgled before. Due to this they have had hidden cameras fitted throughout the property and so someone is fetching the tapes as we speak'. Said the police officer.

Dixie almost broke down with relief there and then. Although nothing was certain, having video evidence should surely help them find her attackers.

With that she started recounting what had happened since getting the call that morning.

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Before Jeff had been able to see Dixie a police officer had come to his cubicle asking for a statement. Trying to put it off so that he could go and see his wife he had been informed that she was currently giving her own statement. Deciding he might as well get it over and done with, he was glad when it was all done and the police officer left so that he was finally able to check on his best friend.

Arriving at her room he knocked on the door and heard Annie call him in.

'Sorry, I can go' he said, not having realised that Annie was there due to the blinds being closed.

'No it's fine, I was just going to nip to the loo' Annie said smiling awkwardly at Jeff and climbing off the bed.

Jeff walked over and sat on a chair, not wanting to look like he was taking Annie's place.

'Come here' Dixie said, motioning for Jeff to come and sit beside her.

'How are you?' She asked.

'I'm fine Princess, it's you I'm worried about'. Jeff knew that from where she'd been in the bedroom she wouldn't have been able to see the kicking he received and he didn't want to add to her troubles.

'Can you just hold me?' Dixie asked, she knew she was safe now but she still didn't feel it.

'Of course' Jeff said, taking her in his arms and planting a kiss on her head. He was just glad they'd both got out alive and, in the whole scheme of things, relatively uninjured.

Resting her head on his chest, and feeling his arms holding her close, Dixie closed her eyes and hoped to have a few quiet moments out of the most traumatic day of her life.

Soon thirty minutes had passed and Annie still hadn't returned. 'Shall I go and see where she's got to?' Asked Jeff assuming that she had decided to give them some space.

'Yes please' Dixie said moving away so that he could get up.

Leaving the room Jeff went to see if she was sitting in the corridor or the relatives room, with no luck. He then went to check the benches outside the hospital before getting a nurse to check the toilets. Running out of ideas Jeff decided to speak to Noel.

'Have you seen Annie anywhere, I have searched everywhere I can think of but have come up blank?'

'Yeah she left a while ago, she gave me this though for Dixie. Sorry I got a bit caught up and didn't get round to passing it on yet' Noel replied handing Jeff an envelope.

'Thanks' Jeff said, feeling a sense of unease.

Returning to Dixie, he handed her the envelope and offered to wait outside whilst she opened it.

'Thanks' she said waiting for Jeff to leave the room before she began to unseal it.

Jeff took a seat on a chair outside Dixie's room. The fact that Annie had left an envelope instead of coming back to speak to Dixie herself concerned him. Nevertheless he sat patiently until a few minutes later when he began to hear sobbing. He didn't know whether to disturb Dixie or not but decided she could always ask him to leave if she didn't want him there. Opening the door, he saw Dixie sitting on the bed clutching a letter, her body shaking whilst tears streamed down her face.

'Jeff, she's left me' Dixie cried, dropping the letter.

'Oh Dix' Jeff sighed taking her in his arms once again and saying soothing words in her ear whilst rubbing her back and arms.

When she had calmed down a bit Jeff began to question her. 'Does it say why she left?'. Dixie didn't answer but just handed him the letter to read.

My beautiful Dixie, I want you to know how much I love you and how sorry I am. These last few months have been amazing and I have enjoyed every minute spent with you. However I need to explain something to you. When I was a child my mother was attacked. I watched her cry continually for weeks on end, I heard her nightmares in the night and I saw how drained my father became. He loved her and stood by her but it took a toll on their marriage and eventually he appeared to be less of a husband and more of a friend on which she was constantly leaning. I am not blaming her, but I saw what it did to my father and I cannot see it again, I cannot have it happen to me, I cannot be that person that he became. When you were telling the police what happened to you I knew it would take a long time for you to recover, too long for me to be able to cope with in the way you deserve. So I'm telling you now, before we get too far, before you start to mend and then I break you all over again. I am truly sorry and I hope their are others in your life stronger than myself. Take care my beautiful Dixie, Annie x

Jeff was furious, Dixie had just been attacked and Annie was too cowardly to talk it through with her, she was not her mother, this was a different attack, a different person, this was Dixie! Talk about kicking her when she's down! Nevertheless, he knew he had to do what was best for Dixie and that meant not showing her how angry he was. If Annie was gone, good riddance as far as he was concerned.

'It's just you and me now kid' Jeff said softly, pushing the hair back from Dixie's eyes, looking into them he continued 'and I'm not going anywhere'.

'I'm sorry for asking you to move out' replied Dixie, wishing she had never mentioned it. Jeff had always been there for her, he married her for pity sake and this was how she repaid him, asking him to leave so that she could invite someone into her home who appeared not to even want her for anything other than the good times. She knew by asking him to stay it would appear that he was her second best option, but really he had always been the best, she just hadn't realised it until now.

'Don't worry about it, it was bound to happen sooner or later. If you would prefer I could stay with you until you're feeling better then find somewhere else to live. That way you wouldn't have to worry about this situation arising again in the future'.

'No' Dixie replied firmly, 'it's your home too. After everything that's happened today I think I'm going to come with pretty hefty baggage to any relationship, what's one more piece'.

Jeff gave a small smile 'baggage am I?'

'Of the best kind' Dixie smiled back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: Thank you MrsJeffreyCollier for your positive feedback :)**

Finally that evening Dixie and Jeff arrived home from the hospital. Tired from such a long and emotional day they both headed up to bed. Dixie hoping to get some blissful relief from this nightmare for a few hours and Jeff just wanting to get as much rest as possible knowing it was going to be a long few weeks ahead.

'Night Princess' Jeff said heading into his room.

'Night' she responded, looking forward to forgetting for a few hours, but scared of what her dreams might bring.

Exhausted Dixie fell asleep almost straight away, but unlike her Jeff lay awake thinking over everything that had happened and beating himself up about it, even though he knew in his heart it wasn't his fault.

After a couple of hours of tossing and turning Jeff decided to get up and go downstairs to watch TV to try and take his mind off of it. However upon leaving his bedroom he could hear faint crying coming from Dixie's room. Standing outside the door he didn't know whether to knock or not. She was crying and it hurt him to hear but he didn't want to intrude. Turning to leave, he heard her speak, quietly and unintelligibly at first but soon she grew louder.

'No, NO, NOOOO' he heard her begin scream and knew it must be a nightmare. Opening the door he saw her thrashing around in bed, fighting off her imaginary attacker, screaming and crying all the while. Then there it was, his name, she was screaming his name, calling him for help, just like she had done a few short hours ago.

Jeff quickly walked up to the bed and began to call her name gently. He didn't want to get too close in case he scared her when she awoke but she wasn't responding to his voice. Touching her shoulder gently he began to rub it 'Dixie sweetheart, it's Jeff. Wake up your having a nightmare' he continued.

Dixie awoke and gave a loud scream, she could see a figure and for a few brief seconds thought her nightmare had come to life. Hearing the voice and beginning to make sense of the words however she soon realised it was Jeff and that she was safe.

'Jeff' she began to cry 'I thought...it seemed so real'.

'I know, I know, I know' Jeff said softly, climbing onto the bed and taking her in his arms.

'What am I going to do, I can't even escape them in my dreams' she sobbed into his chest.

'I don't know Princess, but it will get better and I'll be here with you until it does' he promised, rubbing her back and kissing her head.

'Will you stay, I don't want to lie here alone, I'm scared of going to sleep and I don't want to be alone with my thoughts?' Dixie asked tentatively.

'Of course I will, I can stay as long as you want' Jeff reassured, wiping away her tears.

'Can you stay all night, in case...' Dixie continued.

Jeff knew what she was thinking - in case it happens again.

'Of course I will, I've got to take these opportunities when they arise' he said jokily.

'What opportunities?' She asked perplexed.

'Being invited into a woman's bed for the night' he smirked, hoping to cheer her up a little.

'Shut up Jeff' she smiled back, her tears subsiding as she watched him climb under the covers and snuggled into him, glad that just for those few seconds he had taken her mind off of everything and made her see that there was light in the darkness.

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Waking up Dixie could feel Jeff's arms around her. He had stayed all night as promised, not that she had ever doubted him.

'Morning Princess' he said smiling down at her, relieved that she had slept peacefully after her nightmare in the night.

'Morning. Sorry about last night' Dixie said moving her head from his chest and onto her pillow.

'Don't be, it was nice to have the company' Jeff said sitting up. He had barely slept, hoping that if Dixie did have another nightmare he would be able to wake her before it got too bad. 'Do you fancy some breakfast?' He asked climbing out of bed. He was desperate for the loo but hadn't wanted to wake her up, not when she was sleeping so soundly.

'Please, I'll make it though, it's the least I can do. I think we have some bacon in the fridge'. Dixie said, sitting up herself and beginning to get out of bed.

'Well I won't say no to that Mrs Collier' Jeff smiled, glad Dixie was looking slightly better this morning. 'Do we have any sausages and egg and-'

'Yes' Dixie laughed 'I'll make you a full English'.

'Thanks Princess. I'll just have a shower and then I'll be down'. Jeff smiled back whilst walking in the direction of the shower.

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Finishing the breakfast Dixie left the kitchen to tell Jeff it was ready. Half way up the stairs she heard the bathroom door begin to open and reaching the top she saw Jeff coming out in his towel.

'Jeff' Dixie gasped seeing his stomach for the first time since the attack. 'What did they do to you?'

'It's nothing' he responded trying to get to his bedroom quickly.

'It's not nothing' Dixie said running after him and putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him and turn him around. Jeff's stomach was covered in 3 large red bruises, each about the size of a hand.

'You weren't meant to see' he said before turning back again, once again trying to enter his room.

'Jeff tell me, what did they do to you?' She said quietly and patiently, her hand gently running over the marks.

'He kicked me, the loud mouth, twice when I told him not to touch you, and again when he left' he said looking down at her hand tracing the bruises.

'Oh Jeff, I'm sorry'

'It's not your fault Dix' Jeff tried to reassure.

'But it's my fault I was leaning on them half the night, why didn't you say anything, it must have been agony?' Dixie said, guilt beginning to take over.

'Because you were leaning on my chest Princess, not my stomach'. This wasn't quite true but Jeff didn't want to upset her. He was glad she had let him stay and comfort her, he would rather have a little bit of pain and know that she was ok than be comfortable in his own bed and wonder if she was reliving it all again.

'Are you sure?' Dixie wasn't quite sure that she believed him, she knew what he was like after all.

'Course I am'.

'Why didn't you show me these before?' She asked wondering why he had pretended he was ok when he clearly wasn't.

'Honestly, they look worse than they are. No broken ribs, no damaged organs, just a couple of bruises. I didn't want to worry you unnecessarily'. Jeff tried to reassure, watching her eye him up suspiciously.

'If you say so. Promise that you'll let me know if they are hurting though'.

'I promise' he agreed, not for one minute intending to stick to it. 'Now, can I finish getting dressed, I'm starving?!'

Dixie agreed and headed back down stairs to keep the breakfast warm whilst Jeff got ready.

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The rest of the day was spent together trying to lead as normal life as possible when they could and doing activities to take their mind off everything when they couldn't. Occasionally Dixie had broken down in tears and Jeff just held her, told her that she was safe and reminded her that he wasn't going anywhere.

After dog walks and board games Jeff tried putting on a film to help take Dixie's mind off of the pain of everything that happened as well as losing Annie.

Sitting on the small two sweater sofa, Dixie waited for Jeff to load the DVD he had chosen. It took a while, but with Jeff providing a running commentary of why the sequel is nowhere near as good as the first, Dixie found herself losing her own train of negative thought and being drawn into the film. After about an hour however Dixie began to get uncomfortable. The attack had left her sore and sitting down for too long didn't help. She didn't however want to disturb Jeff. As much as he complained about the film he seemed to be enjoying it and after all he had done for her she didn't want to ruin the little bit of pleasure he was getting.

'Do you fancy something to eat?' She asked hoping for an excuse to get up and move around a bit.

'A sandwich would be good, do you want me to grab us one?' He asked, talking to her but not taking his eyes off the screen.

'No you're alright, you stay their I'll sort it' she said beginning to move.

Turning to thank her Jeff saw Dixie wince as she stood up. 'What's wrong?' He asked looking concerned.

'Nothing. What flavour sandwich do you want?'

'Stop changing the subject. What's wrong' Jeff insisted, pausing the film and taking her arm gently to stop her walking away.

'Nothing, I'm just a bit sore that's all'. Dixie replied hoping that would be an end to it.

'Where?' Jeff asked thinking he could maybe help.

'Jeff I was rap...attacked' Dixie couldn't say the word. Not yet at least anyway.

'Oh' he said, finally clicking on to where she meant.

'I just need to move around a bit and I'll be fine'.

'How about we switch this off then and do something else?' He offered, not wanting her to feel like she had to sit back down sooner than she was ready.

'No honestly, it's fine, you're enjoying it. I can do some ironing or something whilst I watch it'.

'You're meant to be relaxing. If you can't sit down to do that then at least you can do something mildly more entertaining than ironing when standing! How about we do some cooking, stock up the freezer for the days we are too busy to make anything special?' He suggested hoping she would agree.

'Only if you're sure?' Dixie really didn't want him turning the film off on her account.

'I'm sure. Come on let's make that lasagne we keep putting off' and with that they headed into the kitchen.

An hour later when they were standing in a comfortable silence doing the washing up Dixie felt the need to talk.

'Jeff, about yesterday, after the attack...' Dixie trailed off, she didn't really know how to phrase it. Jeff however stayed silent, letting her form her words in her own time.

After a few moments she continued 'after the attack, when I was in shock, thank you for everything you did. Not just helping me to gain the strength to free us, or for holding me in your arms but...' Again she was unsure of what to say or at least how to say it. This time Jeff stepped in however, seeing that she was clearly struggling with the thought of what he had to do let alone expressing it.

'For dressing you?' He ask quietly.

All she could do was nod, she was embarrassed both about the nakedness and the fact that Jeff, her best friend had had to dress her.

'Dix, you were in shock, you couldn't do it, don't worry about it'

'I know but it's still embarrassing' she said quietly turning her head away in shame.

'You would have done the same for me, wouldn't you?' He asked.

She nodded.

'And you would have done the same for any patient?'

She nodded once again.

Turning her face to him Jeff continued. 'Then there is nothing to be embarrassed about. You needed my help, whether as my wife, my best friend or as my patient it doesn't matter. I love you Dix and I am privileged that I as your husband could do that for you. I know we didn't marry for the usual reasons, but we did marry for love, just a different kind of love. I am glad that I could help you before the others arrived, if anyone should have dressed you it was me, not our work colleagues or the police but me, as your best friend and husband. I know you more intimately than anyone else on earth - I know what you love, hate, what scares you, what amuses you. I tell you things I couldn't even imagine sharing with anyone else and I will endeavor to protect you and love you to the end. If that isn't a true marriage then I don't know what is - so why shouldn't it have been me who helped you?'

Dixie smiled gently listening to him, a tear falling down her cheek. She hadn't thought about it like that and she knew if the tables were turned she would feel exactly the same.

'Thank you' she said simply. 'Thank you'.

'Come here Mrs Collier' Jeff said taking her in his arms and holding her tightly, loving her just as much as any husband loves their wife.

That night instead of going into their separate rooms, Dixie asked Jeff if he would once again sleep in hers. He was glad she had asked, he would only worry about her if not. Initially it felt strange climbing into bed with her, but after wrapping Dixie in his arms, she soon fell asleep feeling both safe and loved, with Jeff not far behind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Note: thanks again MrsJeffreyCollier for your kind review, glad you're enjoying it :) and thanks to everyone else for keeping reading! **

In the early hours of the next morning Jeff awoke to the feeling of Dixie shaking his arm and quietly calling his name.

'Jeff wake up, I think their's someone downstairs' she said, fear lacing her voice and tears running down her cheeks.

'What?' Jeff asked, turning to look at her and seeing that she was visibly shaking.

'What if it's them, what if they have found us?' She asked weeping and clasping his hand. Dixie was scared after everything that had happened. The gunmen still hadn't been caught and she feared they had come back for more.

'I can't hear anything' Jeff whispered rubbing her arm and listening to the sound of a silent house.

'There was a crash. It woke me up. Please Jeff ring the police' she wept.

'I'll go and have a look'. Jeff said beginning to sit up. Inside he thought that if there was anyone little Abs would have alerted them but he knew Dixie was vulnerable and she wouldn't sleep again until given the all clear.

'No Jeff' she whispered desperately grabbing his arm. 'Don't leave me. What if they attack you, what if they kill you, please don't go'.

Jeff's heart ached. He could hear the desperation in her voice, like a child begging their mother not to leave them on the first say of school. Through the darkness he could see the tears streaming down her face and he could feel the pressure of her hand holding his arm as if for dear life. She looked so broken and he swore there and then that if he did ever see the gunmen again he wouldn't hold back. He would break them like they had broken her.

'Shhh Dix, I'll be fine' he tired to reassure her, although was himself feeling a slight trepidation.

'No. Please. Jeff please' she whispered after him as loud as she dared, as he took her hand off him and climbed out of bed and walked to the door.

Walking to the top of the stairs Jeff began to hear movement from below. Walking quietly down he headed in the direction of the noise. Stepping into the kitchen he breathed a sigh of relief. Their in front of him were little dirty paw prints all across the floor originating from the far end of the room where a chair had been knocked over and pot plant had been smashed. On the floor were also the vegetable peelings from their cooking the night before that he had left on the table ready to put in the outside bin in the morning, with Little Abs standing over them trying to eat the lot.

'Little Abs' Jeff smiled. The silly dog must have jumped up to get the peelings and knocked everything down at the same time.

Walking up to Little Abs, he picked him up and carried him though the house and out the back door so as not to make any more mess before heading back upstairs.

Walking into Dixie's bedroom, he switched on the light and smiled at her. 'It's ok Princess, it was just Little Abs. He had knocked over a chair and plant pot trying to reach the vegetable peelings off the Kitchen table'.

Dixie suddenly let out a loud sob. She had been keeping it in when she thought someone was downstairs, but now, knowing she was safe she could cry freely and let out her fear, not just for what had happened but what she had been turned into - a nervous wreck. Never before had she felt as vulnerable as she had since the attack.

'Come here beautiful' Jeff said climbing into bed where she almost crawled into his arms.

'Jeff...Jeff...Jeff' she wept.

'It's ok, I'm here, you're ok' he tried to reassure, holding her close and rubbing soothing circles on her back. He could feel her tears through his T-shirt and knew she must have been petrified. Every time he saw her like this his heart broke a little bit more. She used to be so strong, so independent. He knew that would take a long time to rebuild and he just prayed that with his help she could returning to being the confident person that she was.

'I don't think I can do this' she cried, her body racking with sobs.

'Of course you can' Jeff was worried, never before had he seen her give up. Give in, yes, but not give up.

'I can't, I'm not strong enough, I can't live the rest of my life in fear'

'It will get better, you will feel better. It may take a while but I promise you Dix you are strong enough'. Jeff stroked her hair. What had happened to his best mate? His wife?

'No I'm not, I just don't have the strength to fight anymore'

'Well then I'll fight your battles with you...for you. I promise you Dix, I'll look after you until you can look after yourself'.

'You can't promise that. It could be years' she said pulling back slightly and looking up at him.

Jeff wiped away her tears 'remember our vows? I promise to love and protect you, for better for worse, as long as we both shall live. Like I said before we married, I believe marriage is sacred, and them vows are important to me. If it's years, then it's years. You're my best mate and I'm not going anywhere'.

'Neither was Annie' she said quietly looking down again.

'Im not Annie' he whispered kissing her head and pulling her close again.

After holding her quietly for a few minutes he heard some barking and remembered he'd left Little Abs outside.

'I put him out as he had dirty paws' Jeff said, as Dixie looked at him quizzically as to why Little Abs was barking from outside. 'I'd better go let him in and clear up all the mess' Jeff said whilst unwrapping his arms from Dixie and climbing out of bed.

'I'll help' Dixie said also climbing out and following Jeff downstairs.

They worked quietly, Jeff fetching Little Abs and cleaning his paws whilst Dixie swept the floor and picked up all of the broken flower pot.

20 minutes later they returned to bed, climbing back in Dixie felt relieved she had asked him to stay the night because at the minute she didn't know what she would do without him.

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Dixie turned to Jeff in the early morning light and studied his face. It had been a long night and he was now sleeping soundly.

'What have I done to deserve you?' She whispered almost inaudibly. At that moment she felt her heart swell with love for the man she had married - she couldn't have asked for a better husband, especially as a lesbian! Maybe everything with her dad had happened for a reason as marrying Jeff has been one of the best decisions she had ever made.

Watching his chest rise and fall as she listened to his deep sleepy breathing she couldn't believe how lucky she was. She knew that she would do anything for this man and that he would do anything for her. Leaning over, she kissed his cheek, lips lingering ever so slightly as she thought about how much he meant to her and how much she loved him. Pulling back she quietly climbed out of bed and went downstairs to let Little Abs out. She had decided that she would make him an English breakfast as a thank you for everything that happened in the night, although knowing how drained he must be she decided to watch some TV first so that he could sleep.

At 8:30 Dixie started to prepare the breakfast, and once it was all cooked she placed it on a tray with a cup of tea and headed back upstairs. Opening the door to her bedroom she walked in quietly before placing the tray on the bedside table on Jeff's side of the bed.

'Morning handsome' Dixie said and saw Jeff start to wake up.

'Morning' he responded in a quiet sleepy voice without opening his eyes.

'I've brought you breakfast' Dixie said, picking up the tray and watching Jeff open his eyes and sit up. Placing the tray on his lap she continued 'it's to say sorry for constantly disturbing your sleep these last few nights, and thank you for everything, especially last night'.

'You didn't need to do that mate' he said eyeing up the bacon.

'I wanted to, anyway it gave me an excuse to cook myself some' she said before turning to walk to the door and heading back downstairs. Plating some up for herself, she grabbed a glass of orange juice and headed back upstairs and climbed into bed.

Eating the breakfast in a comfortable silence, they were both surprised when the doorbell rang. It was only 9:15 after all. Clearing the plates, Dixie told Jeff to take his time whilst she went back downstairs to answer the door.

Upon opening the door, Dixie found 2 female police officers standing on the other side.

'Mrs Collier, I am PC Kenson and this is my colleague PC White. We have come to speak to you about the incident a couple of days ago' the young officer said kindly.

'Right, come in' Dixie said somewhat surprised. She had given the police her statement and they had collected all the evidence.

Sending them through to the lounge she called Jeff to come downstairs. This wasn't something to deal with alone.

'What's up?' He asked walking down in his pyjamas bottoms. He had just been about to get in the shower so wasn't really dressed to greet visitors.

'It's the police' Dixie responded, a slightly worried to e in her voice.

'What do they want?'

'I don't know'

'Come on then, let's go and find out' Jeff encouraged, putting his hand on her shoulder and guiding her into the lounge.

'Hello Mr Collier, I'm PC Kenson and this is PC white' PC Kenson said as the couple walked in.

'Hi. Sorry, I'm not really dressed for visitors, I was just about to take a shower' Jeff said, feeling a bit self conscious standing there in just his pyjamas bottoms.

'That's ok. We're sorry to disturb your morning but we have some news' PC Kenson continued before handing the conversation over to PC White.

'As you already know there had been previous burglaries at Grafton House and the couple who lived there had installed hidden cameras. Well after taking the footage and examining it we have found a recording of the attack that happened on you Mrs Collier. This means that with the DNA evidence you supplied, there can be no question as to the level of the attack, or who did it, and therefore you will not have to describe your attack in court.

Dixie turned and felt Jeff's arms come around her tightly, holding her close to him.

'That's great news' he said looking down at her head on his chest, a small smile playing on her lips.

'It is' she nodded, feeling relief flood through her. She had been so scared about having to relive it all again in front of so many people. It was bad enough breaking down in front of Jeff, but having to go through every little detail, have it scrutinized, being made out to be a liar by the other side - she had been dreading it.

'We have more' PC White continued as Dixie turned back round. 'One of the attackers briefly took their mask off downstairs before you two arrived so we were able to get a good view of his face'

As Dixie listened she could feel Jeff behind her, hands on her shoulders, thumbs rubbing her arms gently as she took in the news.

'Additionally, yesterday a burglary took place on an empty house. The owner had software that let him know there was an intruder in his home, at which point he called the police. When the police arrived they were able to catch the two men in the act. Because of the incident that happened at Grafton House our colleagues compared the image from the video footage to the two burglars they caught and found that one had a definite likeness. Both of their DNA was taken and compared to that taken from you and I am pleased to tell you they were both a match'.

Dixie began to tremble, shock running through her veins.

'That's fantastic' Jeff said wrapping his arms around Dixie from the back and giving her a tight hug.

'Thank you' Dixie said to the police officers. 'Thank you very much'. She was glad Jeff was hugging her as without his support she wasn't sure she could stand.

'You're very welcome' PC Kenson replied. 'Now unless you have any questions we'll leave you to spend the rest of your day in peace'.

'No' Dixie said. She could barely take it all in. She felt Jeff lead her over to the sofa and watched as he went to show them out. When he returned he sat down beside her and gave her another large hug.

'We're safe' was all she could say. Unable to quite believe that once the court case was over she would be able to start trying to get her life back on track.

'We are' he replied, feeling his own level of relief that they had now been caught.


	7. Chapter 7

**Note: thanks again for the kind review, I do have plans for future chapters but I will let you know if I get stuck for ideas! and thanks to everyone who's been reading my story. Don't worry, it will get happier in a few chapters time but for now, enjoy :) **

Dixie still couldn't believe the good news she had been told this morning by the police. She knew it wouldn't be easy to get back to how things were but at least now she had something positive to think about when she felt low - she was safe, they were caught and life could slowly begin again.

Jeff came and sat next to her on the sofa.

'Do you fancy doing something tonight to celebrate?' He asked.

'Like what?'

'Go to the pub, see our friends?' He suggested.

Dixie was unsure. She didn't know if she could take the constant 'how are you' and looks of sympathy that would surely come her way. She knew they were only concerned but she wanted to be able to forget everything for a little while not having to keep being reminded of what happened.

'I dunno, I'm not sure I can face them all just yet, I don't want all their sympathy' she said with uncertainty in her voice.

'Well how about we go to a different pub and invite just a couple of them?'

Dixie thought about this. She was still unsure as to whether she really felt up to it but she could see Jeff was trying. He had also been through a lot and it would do him good to get out and see their mates. She knew he also could do with taking his mind off of everything and with other people around her he might be able to relax for the evening not having to worry about if she was feeling ok.

'Ok, for you' she said with a small smile on her lips.

'Brilliant, I'll send a text now' he said getting his phone out of his pocket.

'Not many mind' she said fearing Jeff would get carried away.

'I know, just a couple. How about Zoe, Charlie, Noel and Big Mac?'

'Ok' she said. Inside that was already more than she wanted but she could see the happiness on his face and couldn't say no. If this was what made him happy then she would do it for him.

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A couple of hours later they walked into the pub to find the others already there.

'Hi' Dixie said sitting down next to Zoe, knowing what was to come.

'How are you both doing?' Zoe asked, concern on her face.

'Getting by, but all the better for the good news this morning' Dixie replied before continuing 'anyway this is meant to be a celebration so let's not focus on the negative'.

'Yes it is' Zoe said. Jeff had explained in his text that the gunmen had been caught. 'Right let's forget about all that then and get the drinks in'.

'Excellent' Dixie replied, glad that all that had been dealt with and the evening could now begin.

An hour later Dixie had popped to the loo and Jeff was chatting to Noel when a group of ladies walked up to the bar.

'Looking good' said Noel quietly to Jeff.

'Which one do you fancy?' Jeff asked.

'I'm not fussy me, but the blonde looks nice'.

'Go on then' Jeff encouraged.

'No way, not in such a large group like that, it would be like throwing myself into the lions den'.

'Jeff will help, won't you' Big Mac said, seeing him eyeing up one of the brunettes.

'Na not tonight'

'Come on Jeff, all for one and everything' Noel said, feeling more confident with a mate at his side.

'Na, not with Dixie as she is. She needs my attention'

'Dixie wouldn't mind, she's got the rest of us for company' Zoe said encouraging him to give it a shot.

'Yeah but I don't want to start something I can't finish. Dixie has to be my priority at the moment, and that won't work if I've got a girl on the go - for either of them'.

'Who says you'll get further than hello?' Noel mocked.

'Because of my natural good looks and charm'.

'Ha, maybe it's a good thing you're not going to give it a go. Wouldn't want them to burst you're bubble!' Noel laughed.

'Go on' Dixie said coming back to the table. She could tell they were talking about the girls but hadn't heard all of the conversation.

'Na he's too chicken' Charlie said - he thought Jeff should relax and give it a go. He needed to put himself first for once. He knew how much he had done for Dixie in the last few days and maybe now wasn't the right time, but then again when would be.

'Right I shall then' Jeff said defiantly. He didn't after all want to explain to Dixie why he had been saying no.

'Good on you' Dixie said, pleased to see he was looking happy, after all the last couple of days had been tough on him, it was time he had a break and enjoyed himself.

Getting up Noel and Jeff went over to the bar. Noel went straight to the blonde who was much too young for him whereas Jeff went to speak to a pretty brunette, about his age and height.

The others watched on smiling. Soon Noel returned, the girl had politely told him she had a boyfriend, Jeff however was having far greater luck and stayed at the bar for the next hour, occasionally looking back to check that Dixie was ok.

Dixie was in two minds as to what was happening. She was pleased that he was having fun and was taking time out for himself but at the same time she felt nervous. She had sent him off to chat up another woman. She knew that they had an open marriage and it wasn't the first time either of them had seen someone else but this time it felt different. They had always been close but they had shared something over the last couple of days that had changed their relationship, made it more intimate in a platonic sense. She had enjoyed him sharing her bed, felt safer in his arms, and knew that if there was a girl on the scene that would all have to end. She was worried about having to cope without him, or at least with less of him. She began to wonder why she had encouraged him to go over in the first place.

Jeff turned back to check on Dixie again. He was worried that she would get tired or uncomfortable and want to leave but wouldn't want to disturb him. Just then he noticed Charlie get up and head towards the toilets. Turning back to the lady who he had been chatting to all evening, he told her he quickly needed to nip to the loo and then headed off in the same direction as Charlie.

Entering the gents he went and stood by the sinks waiting for Charlie to finish and wash his hands.

'You look like you're having a good time' Charlie said as he came over.

'Yeah I am thanks. How's Dixie?'

'She's fine, she's got all of us for company and we are trying to keep the conversation as light as possible'.

'I'm just a bit worried about her, she gets uncomfortable sitting down for too long after the attack and her nights have been a bit sleepless. I don't want her getting too tired and feeling unable to tell me'.

'Don't worry, she seems fine but I'll have a quiet word and check she's ok' Charlie said knowing his friend needed the reassurance.

'Thanks. Get her to text me when she wants to leave if she doesn't want to come over'.

'I can drop her home if you want, saves disturbing your evening' Charlie offered.

'That's kind of you but I'd rather take her myself. I don't like the idea of her being home alone - not as she is still very fragile. I'd hate for her to get scared or upset whilst I was out'.

'Jeff she's a grown woman, I'm sure she wouldn't want you to feel like you have to babysit her' Charlie said gently.

'I don't, I want to be with her, I want to look after her. You haven't seen her Charlie, she's broken' Jeff said, sadly,

'She's bound to get upset at some point of another, what's going to happen when you return to work? She needs to get used to you not being there, even if it's only for short periods of time.' Charlie knew he sounded slightly harsh and uncaring but that wasn't his aim at all, it was in fact the exact opposite. Dixie had lots of people watching out for her, everyone was asking about her in the ED, wishing her love and support, but who was looking out for Jeff? Making sure that he was coping?

'What so I just dump her to get on with it? Charlie, she is scared to go to sleep without me in case she has nightmares or wakes up in the night afraid, she breaks down when she thinks about everything that's happened, she needs constant reassurance that she's safe, that I'll be there for her as long as she needs. How can she trust me when I say I won't leave her, when you suggest that I send her home at night alone?' Jeff said feeling irritated at Charlie's words.

'I didn't mean to upset you. I just want to make sure that you are being looked after, that you don't neglect yourself whilst you're focused on her' Charlie replied, trying to reason with the man.

'I would happily neglect myself, it's my fault that she got raped. If I'd done something, if I'd tried to over power them, then maybe she would have been safe'. Jeff said raising his voice slightly whilst leaning against the sink, head down, looking rather broken himself.

'And maybe you would have been killed' Charlie said keeping calm, he knew Jeff wasn't angry at him, but rather with himself.

'So be it, if it had stopped them from hurting her'.

'You can't meant mean that, she would only then blame herself. Don't get caught up in the blame game Jeff. I'm not saying don't look after her, I know how much she needs you and how much you need her, I'm just saying take time to relax, take a break every now and then. Ask for help if you need it and accept it when it's offered. Let me take her home when it's time, I can stay with her until you get back if you like' Charlie said, hoping to calm Jeff down.

Jeff could understand what Charlie was saying but it was too soon. Dixie was still delicate and he knew that he wouldn't be able to enjoy himself if he couldn't keep an eye on her. 'Thanks for the offer but another time maybe, for now I just want to enjoy the rest of the evening and then take her home safe and sound'.

'Ok whatever you prefer, I'll get her to text you when she's done'. Charlie said giving in to Jeff.

Jeff left the toilets and walked back to the bar where the lady was waiting with a fresh order of drinks. 'Sorry about that, I caught up with a mate' Jeff said as a way of explanation before turning to his pint and taking a large gulp.

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Dixie started to get tired and uncomfortable. They had been at the pub for a good few hours and she was ready to go home. Texting Jeff like Charlie had suggested she waited a few brief moments before watching Jeff take his phone out of his pocket and read the message. When he looked at her she mouthed 'sorry' and saw him smile slightly as a sign that it was ok before saying goodbye to the lady and coming back to the table.

'You ready then kid?' He asked placing a hand on her shoulder.

'Yeah, sorry to disturb your evening'

'It's fine, I've got her number. We are going to meet up again one afternoon this week - I might invite her round for dinner'.

Dixie decided to leave this conversation until they were alone and so the pair said goodbye to their friends and walked back to their car.

Dixie got in the drivers side as Jeff had been drinking. Before she started the car however she turned to Jeff.

'Don't invite her back to the house. I'll only be in your way - take her out for a meal or a drink'. She might not like the idea of Jeff having a girlfriend but if it was to happen he should do it properly not fit his love life around her.

'No Dix it's ok, I don't mind' he really didn't like the idea of leaving her alone for a few hours.

'Jeffrey do as I say, just this once. I'll be fine. I know why your doing it, take her out and enjoy yourself. If it makes you feel any better I promise to text you if I need you'.

'Dix-'

'No Jeff, take her out, and that's an end to it'.

Jeff looked at her. After everything she had been through and she was still putting him before herself. If she really insisted then he'd have to, but he wasn't going to go out for long, whatever she said. His thoughts however were interrupted by Dixie.

'What's her name anyway?' Dixie asked as she started the car.

'Mel. It turns out she's a nurse, she works at the doctors surgery on London Road' Jeff replied, glad for the change of subject.

'Any kids?'

'Not that she's mentioned'

'Lucky you having her all to yourself' Dixie replied, heading out of the car park and starting the short drive home.

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It was the day of Jeff's date and he was meeting Mel for lunch.

'I'll be back by 5' he said, walking into the kitchen where Dixie was preparing herself a drink.

'Be as long as you want, I'll be fine' she said but inside she was nervous. The idea of Jeff being away if she got scared worried her but she wouldn't tell him that as he'd only fret.

'Na I want to play it cool' he joked, whatever Dixie said he was adamant he would be back by 5.

'Ha! Play it cool, you sound like an 18 year old'.

'You know me, down with the kids'.

'Go, just go, I don't think I can stand listening to this much longer' Dixie laughed.

Wishing him luck, Dixie watched him head out of the front door and then went to get the Hoover out. She wanted something to take her mind off of being alone and figured a bit of cleaning wouldn't go amiss.

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Jeff arrived at the restaurant. It was a nice little Italian that they had agreed on and he was 10 minutes early.

Walking inside he spotted Mel already at a table with a glass of wine.

'Hi' he said walking up to the table after explaining he was meeting someone to the waitress at the door.

'Hi, how are you?'

'I'm good thanks, yourself?'

'Yeah not bad. Had a busy day at work yesterday so it is nice to be able to relax'.

'Yeah my last week has been rather hectic so I know what you mean'. In truth he couldn't relax, not really knowing that Dixie was alone but he would try. Like Charlie had said after the attack, he needed to look after himself to look after her, so maybe getting away for a couple of hours would help, even if he did feel guilty.

'Good hectic or bad hectic?'

This stumped Jeff, he hadn't thought about what the repercussions might be of what he had said, now he was going to have to try and explain the last week away without really explaining it.

'Not great, my best mate was hurt on a shout, luckily we are also housemates so I have been helping her out until she feels better'. Jeff thought that about covered the basics without mentioning the fact that she also happened to be his wife!

'Oh no, was it serious?'

'Quite but they've caught the guys who did it so we are just trying to move past it now'. He hoped that that would finish this line of conversation before he had to politely decline to answer.

Luckily Mel took the hint and changed the subject onto an easier topic.

As the afternoon progressed Jeff found himself becoming more and more attracted to Mel. She was kind, could take a joke and made him laugh as well as being physically attractive.

Mel also enjoyed being with Jeff and found him quite charming. Her last partner was over a year ago so she was ready to move on into a new relationship and she thought he seemed like the one.

Agreeing to meet up again on Saturday Jeff paid the bill and walked her to her car.

'I've had a lovely time' Jeff said as they arrived where Mel had parked.

'Me too, I look forward to Saturday' she smiled.

Jeff looked at Mel for a second and contemplated things before leaning towards her slowly. Mel leant in too and gently their lips touched. Cupping her head in his left hand and holding her waist with his right, Jeff was pleased to feel Mel also begin to hold him. They kissed gently for a few short moments before pulling apart and smiling at each other.

'See you Saturday' Jeff said in barely more than a whisper.

'See you Saturday' she replied before getting in the car and watching as Jeff walked back to his own.

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Dixie had finished the cleaning a while ago and was now out in the garden relaxing in the sun, throwing a ball for Little Abs to fetch when the doorbell rang.

Leaving the dog outside she walked through the house and opened the front door to see a man dressed in a suit with a clipboard.

'Hello, I am here today to see if you are interested in any security features we have to offer'.

Dixie didn't normally buy anything at the door but took a couple of seconds to think about it after recent events before deciding against it.

'No thanks I-'.

'Did you know that there have been a high rate of burglaries in this area recently' the man continued trying to push his products.

'No I didn't but-'

'And we are offering a ten percent discount if you spend over one hundred pounds'.

'I'm really not-'

'A beautiful lady like you, anything could happen if you live alone or your partners away. You are one of the vulnerable many'.

This began to scare Dixie. The man wouldn't leave and she was feeling very alone and vulnerable, she wished Jeff would return. He said he would be back by five but it was five to now.

'Listen madam' the man said taking Dixie's hand in a firm grasp.

Dixie began to panic, he was scaring her and she felt like she was being restrained. She knew she wasn't, but she couldn't get past the flashbacks, she couldn't seem to force her hand away.

'Please let go' she said trying to remain calm but not feeling it.

'Anyone could try to break in, but with our-'

'I said let go' she said fear bubbling up within her.

The man ignored her and continued. He was not trying to be sinister but he didn't know what she had been through and how his pushiness was coming across.

'Our alarm system is-'

'I SAID LET GO' Dixie screamed, managing to pull her arm free and pushing him him to the ground before running inside and slamming the door shut, putting on the safety chain for good measure.

Jeff was just pulling into the drive and saw the exchange. Parking the car and running to the house he stopped when he heard the salesman speak.

'Bloody nutter, she should be locked up'. The man said as he sat up.

'You watch your mouth' Jeff said standing over him.

'You must have seen her push me to the ground. All I was trying to do was see if she wanted to buy any of our security features. You need to keep her on a leash!'

'That's my wife you're talking about' Jeff spat out. He wanted to hit the arrogant pig but knew that Dixie needed him and turning away continued to the house.

Putting his key in the lock he heard a scream as he pushed the door open.

'Dixie, it's me' he said as the door came to an abrupt halt due to the safety chain.

'Let me in Princess'.

He heard movement and a few seconds later the door was shut before he heard the sliding of the safety chain.

Opening the door he saw Dixie standing their visibly shaking.

'I thought...he wouldn't let go...it felt like...' Dixie couldn't speak, tears pouring down her cheeks as fear still raced through her veins.

'What happened?' Jeff asked stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

'He wouldn't listen...he took my hand... I said let go but he wouldn't' she cried sitting down on the bottom step of the stairs.

'Ok well he's gone now. I'm sure you were safe Dix, he just scared you' Jeff said kneeling down in front of her.

'I know, I knew it then, I just didn't feel it' she said after a few moments, beginning to get her breathing under control.

Jeff just sat and looked at her. He didn't know what to say to make her feel better, he didn't know what to do either. He had been so excited to come home and tell Dixie how it went with Mel and now here he was again trying to comfort her after she had been frightened. Taking her hand he began to rub the top of it gently with his thumb.

'Why?' Dixie said quietly.

'Why what?' He asked confused.

'He took my hand, not a million miles from this but I freaked. I felt like I was back there in that room again. I wasn't even restrained. Why did I feel like that when he did it but I'm fine with you'

'You know me Dix, you know I wouldn't hurt you. You didn't know him, that's why'.

'But it was such a small thing. Anyone could do it. I don't want to react like that every time a stranger touches me' she said wiping her tears away.

'You won't, you know what salesmen are like. They're pushy, they want power over the conversation, they want to gain the power over your will so that you'll buy something. At the minute you need to be in control, he didn't realise that. When he took your hand maybe you just felt even more powerless and that scared you'.

Dixie knew that Jeff was probably right.

'Thank you' she said with a sad smile on her lips.

'You don't need to thank me, I'm just glad I got home when I did' Jeff said, mentally deciding to ignore Dixie next time and invite Mel to the house.

'I do, I must have ruined your afternoon'.

'Na, you just gave it a bit more drama that's all kid' Jeff said, pasting on a smile and helping Dixie to her feet. 'Now, let's go and sit down I have so much to tell you' and with that Dixie led them back outside to sit in the garden once again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Note: thanks as usual to everyone for reading/reviewing :)**

It was late afternoon on Saturday and Jeff had spent the day cleaning and tidying before showering ready for his date with Mel. Dixie had spent all of yesterday trying to persuade him to go out again to meet her but he had refused not wanting to leave her home alone.

Getting out of the shower he quickly dried and dressed before heading downstairs and checking that everything was in order. Dixie had offered to go out but he had refused, saying there was no point him staying in if she wasn't there. Walking into the lounge he spotted their wedding photo.

'Better put this away' he said as Dixie came into the room whilst he was putting it in a draw.

'Yeah you don't want to scare her away with our strange little set up'.

'Could you imagine - don't worry Mel, this is my wife but she's ok with us having a date right in front of her. She'd think we were swingers or something!'

'Have you told her I'm a lesbian?'

'Na not yet it never really came up'.

Jeff started walking into the kitchen to prepare the food.

'What are you going to make her?'

'Lasagne and homemade garlic bread. You can't beat it'

'Sounds good. I shall be enjoying a lovely chow mein'.

'At least I don't have to share it for once'

'Ha you know you love it really!'

'Yeah...'

Jeff got the veg out of the fridge and sat at the table, starting to peel some carrots. Dixie joined him, picking up a knife and began to dice.

'It's times like this I miss Annie' Dixie said, thinking about how she used to enjoy spending evenings in with her.

'You were way to good for her Princess'.

'You're just saying that because she left me'

'No I'm saying it because of when she left you. I know you would never have done that to her'.

'Maybe it was for the best. Like she said in the letter - it was better for her to leave then than keep stringing me along for months before ditching me'.

'That still doesn't make it ok. One day you will find someone who loves you as much as you love them. In fact you already have'.

'Who?' Dixie asked quizzically.

'Me'

'Thanks mate, but you won't be here for ever, not if you and Mel ever get serious. Anyway I need someone who is in love with me, not just loves me. That is going to be a lot harder to find'.

'You will, you're a great catch!'

'Yeah me and my baggage. It had better be a bloody big net!'

'Na, you'll get someone. You've got your own house, own teeth, own hair'

'Cheers mate' Dixie said smiling. 'Is that what swung it for you and Mel?'

'No, it was my amazing personality and her fantastic boobs'.

Dixie burst out laughing 'I'll tell her that!'

'You dare!' He said giving her a playful punch on the shoulder before going to get the meat out of the fridge.

Just then the doorbell rang and Dixie got up to answer it throwing him a mischievous look as she walked past.

'Don't you dare' he whispered.

Dixie just laughed however and opened the door to Mel.

'Hi you must be Mel' she said stepping back to let her in.

'Yes, and you're Dixie?'

'Yes, come through, Jeff's just in the kitchen'. Dixie said leading her through.

'Nice top by the way, it really compliments your figure' Dixie continued giving Jeff a sly look as they walked in.

'Thanks' Mel said slightly unsure of how to respond.

'Ignore her' Jeff said smiling at Mel before throwing Dixie daggers.

'Right well I'll leave you two to it, then' Dixie said walking out of the kitchen and upstairs to her bedroom. Switching the TV on she flicked through the channels trying to keep her mind off the fact that Jeff was downstairs with another woman. 'What's wrong with me?' She muttered, getting annoyed at herself for her unusual jealousy.

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'Dixie seems nice' Mel said after she had gone upstairs.

'Yeah she is' Jeff responded browning the meat in the pan. 'Heart of gold that one, hate getting on the wrong side of her though mind!'

'A bit like all of us then' Mel smiled. 'Do you need any help?'

'No your fine, you can open the wine if you want but that's about it' Jeff said nodding his head in the direction of the bottle.

'So how long have you been housemates?' She asked whilst popping the cork.

'A good few years now. When I split with my ex wife I needed somewhere to rent so Dixie said I could have a room here and I just never left'.

'I'm not sure I could stand living with some of my friends that long' Mel laughed.

'I was going to move out and give her a bit of space but when she and her partner split I decided to stay'.

'Yeah the company is always nice especially when you first split up. Nothing better than man bashing with a mate' Mel smiled.

'Luckily in this case it was woman bashing, so the male population remains untarnished' Jeff joked adding all the veg to the pan.

'Ah so she's...' Mel just twigged what he meant.

'A lesbian? Yeah' Jeff smiled.

As the evening wore on Jeff and Mel moved into the lounge after dinner.

'Fancy watching a film?' Jeff asked as Mel sat on the sofa.

'Yeah sounds good. What've you got?'

'Well a bit of everything really, horror, action, romance, comedy'.

'Comedy sounds good - nothing slapstick though. I prefer wit rather than people tripping over stupid things'.

'Have a look at some of these then' Jeff said handing her some DVDs. After she selected one Jeff put it in the player and then sat down next to her on the two seater sofa.

As the film wore on and they became even more comfortable with each other Jeff plucked up the courage to put his arm around her shoulders. Feeling her lean into him he suppressed a smile. She really did make him happy.

Hearing movement, Jeff looked back as Dixie reached the bottom of the stairs and walked past the door.

'You ok mate?' He asked feeling bad that she felt she had to shut herself in her bedroom for the evening.

'Yeah just fancied a cup of tea' she said smiling at him. Inside however she felt down but she wasn't quite sure why. Seeing him with his arm around Mel cosied up on the sofa, made her feel alone, like when a parent gets a new partner and the child feels left out. I suppose I got too used to it being just him and me she thought as she was about to walk away.

'Do you want to join us?' He asked.

'No thanks, I'm sure you'd prefer to be alone'.

'Honestly Dix it's ok' he knew that Mel probably would prefer to be alone but Dixie was delicate at the moment and he didn't want her to feel as if he was making her second best.

'Jeff I'm fine, it would just be awkward!' She said giving him a reassuring smile and walking away.

Jeff wasn't quite sure he believed she was fine but figured she probably would feel awkward so decided to leave her be.

Later as the film drew to a close and Mel got up to leave, Jeff found himself wondering when he would see her again.

'Thanks for coming this evening. I really enjoyed it'.

'So did I. I'm not sure of my shifts yet after Monday as their have been some changes to the rota but I'll let you know when I'm free to meet up again'.

'Excellent' Jeff said walking her to the door.

Putting her hand on the handle, Mel turned to Jeff. 'Goodnight'.

'Goodnight' he replied.

After a couple of seconds silence he leant in and gently took her lips in his, resting a hand on her arm.

'Goodnight' he said again quietly as they parted.

'Night' she replied smiling gently at him before opening the door and walking out into the cold night air.

Locking the door, he let Little Abs out into the back garden to do his business before switching off the lights and walking upstairs towards Dixie's room.

Knocking on the door he heard a quiet 'come in'.

Walking into the room he found Dixie sitting up in bed with the remainders of a chow mein on one side of her and the tv remote on the other.

'Nice little nest you've made yourself' he said walking over to the bed and climbing onto it next to her as she put the plate on her bedside cabinet.

'How did it go?' She asked.

'Good. It feels a bit strange getting back into the dating malarkey but a good strange'.

'You seemed pretty cosy when I came down'.

'Yeah we were. It was nice' Jeff smiled, pleased with how the evening had gone. Mel seemed like a nice person and he was looking forward to meeting up with her again.

A couple of hours later Dixie turned off the TV and sunk down into the bed whilst Jeff went and got changed.

Coming back into the room he switched off the light and climbed into the bed beside her.

'You sure you should be doing this?' Dixie asked as he laid down with his head on the pillow next to her, bodies facing each other.

'Doing what?'

'Climbing into bed with me'.

'I have been climbing into bed with you for the last week in case you had forgotten' he said, confused as to what she was going on about.

'Yes but now you and Mel are on the road to becoming a couple. I don't think she'd appreciate knowing that after she left here you climbed into bed with me'.

'Why? She knows you're a lesbian'.

'But you're not gay'

'So?'

'Well don't you think that she would feel a bit betrayed, you climbing into bed with another woman. It might feel like an affair to her'.

'What are you suggesting we get up to Mrs Collier?' Jeff said with a twinkle in his eye and a cheeky grin on his face. Dixie didn't have time to answer though because before she knew it Jeff's hands were all over her waist, hips and bum.

'Get off' she laughed batting his hands away.

They both just lay there looking at each other and laughing for a short while before Dixie began to speak.

'I've missed this' she said smiling earnestly at him.

'So have I' Jeff said returning her smile. 'Like I said Dix, it will take time but you'll get there, I promise. And until then, I'll be right here beside you. Mel and I might be getting closer but you'll always come first'.

'Thanks mate' Dixie said, feeling reassured.

'Come here Princess' he said, pulling her in to rest her head on his chest.

'Goodnight Mr Collier'.

'Goodnight Mrs Collier'.


	9. Chapter 9

Note: hopefully this will explain a little more of how Dixie is feeling and what she is thinking, although even more will be revealed in the next few chapters. Thanks for reading/reviewing :)

It had been three weeks since the attack and Dixie sat on the sofa in the early morning light leaving Jeff to sleep in bed. She knew it was taking its toll on him. Every few nights she'd wake up from a nightmare, either to do with the attack or a similarly violent one. Last night Jeff had had to reassure her she was safe when she woke up thinking someone was trying to get into her bedroom to shoot her.

Jeff was now going back to work and more than once he had come home to find her sitting on the sofa with tear tracks down her face. He had refused to do night shifts so that she wouldn't be alone as she slept, but Dixie could see how exhausted he looked working through the day and being kept up at night so tried to persuade him otherwise.

Mel was also coming over about twice a week and Dixie could see that they were starting to become a proper couple. She was pleased Jeff was happy and had found someone who could make him feel special but she was also feeling even more alone. He tried to include her as much as he could but she felt awkward around them both. Jeff didn't want to go out with Mel as he already spent enough time away from Dixie when he was working so she wanted to give them some private time when Mel was over. Nevertheless, she was growing increasingly jealous of Mel. It hurt her when she watched him hold her in his arms and when she could hear them cooking and laughing downstairs. She couldn't quite put her finger on why - it was more than just feeling lonely she reasoned but she wasn't sure what. Since the attack she and Jeff had got even closer and she had began to look at him in a slightly different light. It was this most of all that confused her.

On top of all this she was worried. Her period was a week late and it was usually as regular as clockwork. She had taken the morning after pill at hospital but knew that they weren't one hundred percent effective. She really wanted to talk to Jeff about this but with everything she had put him through she didn't think it fair to land this on him as well. She knew she could take a test but she was scared of the results. Even just thinking about it petrified her! Drawing her knees to her chest a single tear began sliding down her cheek.

Hearing movement she turned around. 'I thought you were asleep' she said turning round to see Jeff coming through the door.

'I woke up and you weren't there so I thought I'd see where you got to' he said coming over and sitting down beside her. 'I'm glad I did as well' he said wiping away her tear. 'What's wrong Princess?'.

'Nothing' she replied. She knew saying it out loud would make it real.

'Tell me' he probed gently.

'There's nothing to tell, honest. I'm just being silly'.

'I know you Dix, you don't get upset over nothing'.

'This time I am'.

'Then why won't you tell me?' Jeff was being gentle but he wasn't going to give up.

'Come on, let's go back to bed' Dixie said beginning to stand up, trying to change the subject.

'No, not until you tell me'. He took her arm so she couldn't just walk away.

'Jeff you've got enough to deal with. Let it drop eh?'

'Sorry Princess, I can't do that'

'Why?'

'Don't you see? If you tell me I can help you deal with it. If you don't I will just worry. Do me a favour eh, just give me peace of mind and tell me'.

Dixie could see his point. She was tempted to tell a lie, say she was just thinking about Annie or the attack but she knew Jeff would see through it. She had never been a very good liar'.

'I'm late' she whispered.

'For what?' Jeff asked, confusion on his face. Where could she possibly need to be at this time of day?'

'No. My period is late'. As she said this she began to feel more tears escape.

'Oh Dix' he said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her head. 'How long?'.

'A week'.

'You took the morning after pill right?'

'Yeah but you know they're not always effective'.

'Have you done a test?'

'No. I was too scared. What am I going to do? I can't have one of their children'.

'It's ok, we'll sort it, but first you need to do a test'.

'What if it's positive?' She asked, her tears beginning to soak through Jeff's top.

'Then we'll do whatever you want'.

'When I was with Annie I started thinking what it would be like to be a mum, how nice it would have been for the pair of us. What if that wish is coming true in the cruelest way? How could I abort it, it's just innocent in all of this. But I don't know if I could keep it either'.

'Dix, you don't even know if your pregnant yet, but if you are then you have plenty of time to decide. Whatever you choose I'll be there for you. If you want to abort it I'll go with you, if you want to keep it I'll help you'.

'You couldn't help me forever Jeff. What if you and Mel wanted to move in together, or if you found someone else and decided to marry again. You can't promise me that'.

'Dix, you'll always be a part of my life after everything we've been through together. If I ever did decide to leave it wouldn't be for a long time yet and never whilst you needed me. After that I would only ever be a phone call away'.

'I wouldn't ruin your life like that. I wouldn't want you to stay for me if you wanted to leave'.

'Well let's not worry about it now eh Princess, you still haven't done a test'.

'I was going to buy one but just couldn't face it'.

'Do you want me to get you one?'.

Dixie thought for a moment and nodded. Even if she decided not to use it yet, it would still be useful to have.

'Now?'

'Yes please' Dixie said pulling back and watching Jeff get up.

'I'll just get dressed'.

xxxxxxxx

An hour later Dixie heard the front door open and Jeff come in.

Walking into the lounge he sat down next to her and gave her the paper bag.

'I bought two. Just for clarification either way'.

'Thank you' Dixie said opening the bag to reveal two boxes of Clear Blue. 'How much do I owe you?'.

'Don't worry about it'.

'Come on, they're not cheap'.

'Just agree to an Indian the next time we have a takeaway and we'll call it quits. That, after all, is worth more than money can buy!' He joked, trying to lighten the mood a little.

Dixie gave a small smile and agreed.

'So are you gonna take the test?'

'Im not sure I'm ready' Dixie said trying to put off the inevitable.

'The sooner you do it, the sooner you'll know. It could be good news'.

'Im not sure I'd ever class it as good news. Better news maybe, but not good, not in this situation'.

'Ok well it could be better news then. What if you're not pregnant, wouldn't you just rather know'.

'And what if I am' she said staring down at the box she was now holding in her hands.

'Take the test Dix' Jeff encouraged gently. He knew she had to feel in control and he didn't want to push her, but he also knew she wouldn't relax until she did.

Dixie looked up at him, and after looking him square in the eyes for a good few moments she got up with both boxes and walked away.

A few minutes later she came back with two used pregnancy tests in her hand.

'And now we wait' she said as she sat back on the sofa, placing the tests on her lap.

'And now we wait' Jeff echoed.

'What if I am pregnant. My whole life is spent saving people and now I could be aborting my own child'.

'Don't think about that Dix. Not just yet at least'. Jeff replied taking her hand in his as they sat in silence waiting for the tests.

'It's time' Dixie said a short while later. Turning over the tests, she let out the breath she had been unconsciously holding.

'Negative'.

Jeff also let out a deep breath. 'Come here Princess' he said wrapping his arms around her tightly, feeling her melt into him, her body releasing the tension it had been holding for far too long.

Pulling back a short while later Dixie began to speak. 'It still doesn't explain why I'm late though'.

'It's probably just stress mate. You know how it is - stress affects hormones, which in turn affects your period'.

'I hope so' she said feeling rather relieved.

'Anyway, now that's done how do you fancy a full English to celebrate?' Jeff asked.

'Yeah go on then' Dixie said, head still swimming with thoughts and emotions of what could have been, and what will never be.


	10. Chapter 10

Note: just a little warning that as it is rated an M, there is a little bit of adult content in this chapter. Once again, thanks everyone for reading and reviewing!

A week later, Jeff and Dixie were sitting at the kitchen table with a freshly poured cup of tea each, waiting for Mel to arrive.

'Dixie...'

'Yeah?'

'I was wondering. How would you feel if I asked Mel to stay the night? We've been together for nearly a month now and I would like to move the relationship up a gear if you know what I mean?'.

Dixie thought about this. Everything inside her was screaming 'no' but how could she say that, how could she stop him from being happy.

'Ummm ok' she said hesitantly.

'If you're not sure, I don't have to, I just thought I'd ask'.

Dixie looked at him. The man she had married. Her best mate, and at the minute her protector. The man that had been putting her back together since that dreadful day a month ago. How could she possibly say no to him. But she really really wanted to. She was scared of being alone for the night. Scared that without him she would wake up in tears and have no one to hold her, or even worse - embarrass herself in front of Mel by waking them both up as well. On top of that she had been having confusing thoughts recently. She knew she was a lesbian, she always had been and always would be but there was something about Jeff, his personality, him, that she was becoming drawn to and it scared her. She had never felt like this before about a man and she knew it would only ever be Jeff that she did. It was like she had got past the fact that he was a man and it was his soul she was falling for, male or female she didn't care. She could barely admit to herself that she was having feelings for him, but to mention it to Jeff could ruin their marriage and their friendship. So to see him with Mel was hurting her, but the idea that she would be in his bed, making love to him, she just couldn't quite deal with. And yet it all came back to the fact that she just wanted him to be happy which was why she had to say she was fine with it all.

'Jeff it's fine mate. It's time I got used to sleeping alone again anyway' she said, plastering a fake smile on her face and patting him on the arm.

'Sure you're sure?'

'Jeff just do it mate' Dixie said, becoming exasperated with him. She didn't want to think about it let alone discuss it.

'Thanks mate' he replied just as the doorbell rang.

'Right, I'll leave you to it' she said and picked up her tea, before letting Mel in and heading up the stairs.

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It was 11pm and Jeff and Mel had just finished watching a film she had brought over.

'I suppose I'd better get going then' Mel said pulling back from his chest, where her head had been resting for the last hour.

'Actually, I wondered if you'd like to stay?' Jeff asked feeling nervous.

'I'd love to' she smiled at him before leaning in for a kiss.

As they pulled apart Jeff couldn't believe his luck. A wonderful wife and a gorgeous girlfriend. What a lucky sod he was. He figured he'd have to explain to her soon about Dixie being his wife, but not yet, not now. For the minute he just wanted to enjoy the moment.

'I just need to let Little Abs out then we can go up'.

'Ok' Mel said watching him leave the room, her heart thumping just a little bit faster. She had wanted Jeff to ask her to stay tonight so was pleased when he actually did. She fancied him like mad and couldn't wait to share his bed.

When Jeff returned he took her by the hand and led her upstairs.

'That's my room' he said pointing to the door closest to the bathroom. 'Go on in. I just need to speak to Dixie quickly'.

Mel nodded and headed into his room, whilst he went and knocked on Dixie's door.

'Come in' he heard her call.

Opening the door he saw Dixie on the bed, in her pyjamas, watching TV. Walking in he closed the door behind him so there was no chance of Mel over hearing before going over and sitting on the bed.

'So is she staying then?' Dixie asked, putting the volume on mute.

'Yeah, she's in my room waiting for me as we speak' Jeff replied with a grin on his face.

Dixie's heart sunk but she smiled, not wanting Jeff to know what this was doing to her.

'You'd better go and have some fun then' she said patting his leg.

'Just so long as you know where I am if you need me'.

'Jeff I hardly think I'm going to lose you in a house this size. Anyway, I'm not going to come and interrupt you, however I'm feeling'.

'Well obviously not now, but in the night, if you need me just come and get me'.

'Jeff I'm not going to come in whilst you're laying naked in bed with another woman, no matter how upset I am'.

'Well text me then or something. Don't worry about it, that's all I'm saying. I'll still be there for you'.

'Fine' Dixie said, not meaning it for one second. 'Now go and enjoy yourself or she'll be wondering where you've got to'.

'Night Dix'

'Night' she replied, watching him leave before turning the volume back up.

She tried to watch the TV again for a few minutes to take her mind off of everything, but as hard as she tried, all she could think about was Jeff and Mel. Her heart broke as she imagined Jeff unzipping Mel's dress and dropping it to the floor. The last time she had felt this hurt was when she had fallen for Cyd. Why did she always fall hardest for those that were out of reach. 'Because I loved her. Like I love him. Annie was special to me, but she wasn't either of them. She didn't love me. Not like Jeff does. Come to think of it, neither did Cyd'.

She grew jealous as she imagined Mel taking off Jeff's tshirt before running her hand across his chest. She knew that they were probably naked by now, exploring each other's bodies.

Dixie shook her head, trying to get rid of these thoughts. She knew however that that would be impossible whilst she was awake, so turning the TV off and switching off the light she settled down into bed, hoping that sleep would quickly claim her.

Sadly however, her wish didn't come true and fifteen minutes later she was still imagining what they were up to next door. She thought about how Jeff was most likely making love to her right now and her heart broke again that evening when she began to hear the low moans coming from her husband as well as the sound of the bed.

For the next ten minutes all she could think about was what they were doing, what she could hear. Tears began to silently fall as she finally realised she had well and truly fallen in love with her husband, only for it to be too late.

As the moans got louder she guessed that it would soon be over. She knew Jeff wasn't trying to be loud on purpose, in fact he was probably restraining himself, but as they were in the next room, and the walls weren't particularly thick she could hear far more than she wanted.

Finally, she heard him cry out before everything went quiet.

Dixie slowly stopped crying and wiped away her tears. She knew she wouldn't sleep now, even if she wanted to. Getting up she decided to go downstairs, cuddle up to Little Abs and watch a bit of late night cable TV, which is exactly where Jeff found her an hour later.

'What are you doing down here?' He asked walking into the lounge and heading to the sofa.

'I couldn't sleep so figured I'd come down and watch some TV with Little Abs for company', she said, pushing the dog off the sofa so Jeff could sit down. 'What are you doing?'.

'I heard you come downstairs so wanted to check that you were ok. I wanted to make sure Mel was asleep though first so that if you weren't alright she wouldn't be waiting for me to return'.

'Thanks but I'm fine' Dixie replied.

'Sorry, if you heard any of that by the way' Jeff said. 'I did try to keep it down but I couldn't really stop myself at the end'. If he had said this to anyone else he would be embarrassed. Men happily gloat to others about their sex life but rarely it's the truth. This however was his best friend and wife, and after what they'd shared the last month, he felt like there was nothing he couldn't say to her now.

'It's fine. You've done so much for me over the last month that I can cope with the sound of you two having sex'.

'I was worried that it might have brought back bad memories, you know, the sound of a man...' He said trailing off, thinking back to hearing her being raped.

She had never willingly slept with a man, but she knew what it was like to make love to a partner and it was soft, gentle and loving, even if it was fast and rough. Not like what they had done to her. She knew what Jeff was like, and she also knew that he would never hurt anyone, especially not like that.

'No, it's fine. That was the sound of you making love. That wasn't what they did to me, it sounded very different. Anyway, it was you I could hear. I could never be afraid of your voice, whether it was the sound of you laughing, shouting or making love. I know that you would never hurt me, so no, it didn't bring back any memories'.

'Good' Jeff said, relieved that he hadn't caused her to relive the past. Pulling the blanket from the back of the sofa, he threw it over them, settling in to watch some TV.

'Don't you think you should get back to Mel in case she wakes up and wonders where you are?' Dixie asked.

'Na, I wore her out good and proper' Jeff smirked.

'Ha!' Dixie laughed, she couldn't help but smile when Jeff was around.

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The next morning Dixie woke up and just lay in bed, thinking about the night before. What she had heard, how she had felt.

Last night she had resigned herself to never telling Jeff how she felt and after what had happened between him and Mel she knew that she would have to stick to it. Nevertheless she felt sad for everything that she could have had and lost. She knew that she couldn't be around him, not today, not when she felt like this, it would only make her feel worse, hurt her more.

She made her way to the bathroom hoping to have a quick shower before either of them were up. Standing under the water she couldn't help but remember the sound of her husband with another woman. She wasn't even sure she would like the idea of sleeping with him, especially not after the attack, but she knew what it was to be intimate with a woman and knew she would like Jeff to make her feel like that in the bedroom.

'But it's too late' she reminded herself, quickly finishing off in the shower before heading back to her bedroom to get dressed.

Thirty minutes later she headed down the stairs and out the front door, phone in her pocket, keys in one hand and purse in the other. She didn't know where she was going to go, only that she had to get away because right now she didn't feel like she could hide her true emotions for much longer.

Getting in the car she drove aimlessly eventually ending up outside a cafe where she decided to go in and have breakfast. Ordering a bacon butty she went and sat at a table in the corner, when all of a sudden her phone began to ring. Pulling it out from her pocket she saw Jeff displayed on the caller ID. 'Not just yet' she said to herself canceling it and putting her phone on silent before sliding it back into her pocket. Within a few seconds however it began to vibrate and she knew he was trying again. This time however she just let it ring out and once it stopped she gave a sigh of relief before she felt it vibrate once more. Pulling it back out she saw that he had left a voicemail message to which she began to listen.

'Dix where are you? Are you ok? You didn't leave a note'.

She knew he must be worried. This was the first time she had gone out alone since the attack, she couldn't face talking to him though so decided to just text him back.

'I'm fine. Just getting some breakfast, don't know when I'll be back x'.

Within a few minutes she received a reply.

'Ok, Mel's going home soon as she has work later. Don't be long! x'

Dixie just looked at the text. She knew he would worry but she wouldn't be home for hours yet, not until she could keep her emotions in check.

xxxxxxxx

The rest of the day she spent traveling from cafés to coffee shops, buying magazines for her to flick in and out of, trying to take her mind off of reality. Occasionally she received texts from Jeff asking if she really was ok and when she would be home, each time replying that yes she was fine and not just yet.

Eventually however it began to get dark and that alone encouraged her to go home when nothing else could. Arriving home, she sat on the driveway for a few minutes trying to collect herself before getting out of the car. She had hoped that she would be feeling better by this evening but if anything she felt worse. Having had the whole day to think of nothing else but how she felt about Jeff she really wasn't ready to greet him just yet. Nevertheless, the option was taken out of her hands when the front door opened and Jeff raced out and opened her car door.

'Where have you been Princess? I've been worried'.

'I told you, I just went out for breakfast and figured that I enjoyed it so much I would stay out for lunch and dinner as well'. She replied getting out of the car and locking it behind her.

'Now the truth' He said following her back to the house.

'That is the truth Jeffrey' she replied walking into the kitchen and putting her keys on the counter before picking up the dog bowl and filling it with water.

'That isn't the truth, I know something's wrong so just tell me' he said following her around the kitchen.

Dixie couldn't quite hide the emotion on her face so refused to look at him. She really didn't want him to see her like this.

'Nothing's wrong' she answered before getting the dog food out of the cupboard and putting it on the counter.

'Then why won't you look at me' Jeff said taking her by the shoulders and turning her around, holding her gently so that she wouldn't turn back.

'Just leave me alone...please' Dixie said, looking at him properly for the first time that evening.

'Sorry Princess, I can't do that' he replied softly, not letting her go. Stepping closer he looked at her deep in the eyes. 'Talk to me, trust me'.

And that was it, Dixie couldn't help it but she found herself leaning in and kissing him. Not for long but long enough. Pulling back she looked him in the eyes, saw the complete shock on his face and stepped out of his reach.

Walking quickly towards the kitchen door she grabbed the keys off the counter and headed back into the hallway.

'Dixie' Jeff called after her, running up behind her and grabbing her wrist tightly to stop her.

Just for a split second she forgot, she forgot who it was, her mind had taken her back to the last man that had grabbed her wrist that tightly and she was petrified. Turning around she lashed out, slapping him hard across the face. It was only then that she remembered, that it was Jeff and she was safe.

'Oh my- I'm so sorry' she said standing there in complete shock, tears beginning to form in her eyes as she realised what she had done to the one person she cared for most, loved, in the whole world.

'Dix' Jeff said quietly holding his face. He was shocked too. Shocked about the kiss and at what she had done. He wasn't angry though, he could still see the look of terror in her eyes just before she slapped him, he knew he must have scared her and he instantly regretted grabbing her.

'I thought... I thought you...' She whispered, mouth wide open, all thoughts of leaving forgotten.

'It's ok, I scared you, I know. I shouldn't have grabbed you' he said reaching out his left hand slowly to take her right hand in his.

'I'm so sorry' she said again, bringing her left hand up and lifting his other away so that she could see the damage.

'I never meant...you know I wouldn't...' She trailed off looking into his eyes, her own eyesight becoming blurred with tears.

'I know' he said, bringing his hand up to wipe them away.

'Please don't touch me' she said, stepping back. She knew that it would only make it harder for her in the long run, feeling his touch and then watching him walk away.

Jeff put his right hand down, but kept hold of her right hand. 'Come on, I think we need to talk' he said leading her back into the kitchen and towards the kitchen table so that they could sit facing each other.

Sitting down Jeff began to speak. 'Why did you kiss me?'.

'I don't know' she lied.

'Yes you do. Tell me the truth Dix'.

'I can't' she said, refusing to look him in the eye.

'Of course you can, it's me remember' he said, leaning sideways slightly so that he was in her eyesight.

'I can't' she repeated before looking away again.

'Ok well then tell me why you can't, what you think will happen if you do'.

'You'll leave me, maybe not this second but you will, sooner rather than later'.

'Princess, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you tell me, I'm not budging, not now, not tomorrow, not ever. All I want is the truth'.

Dixie turned to meet his gaze and looked deep into his eyes, trying to determine if he himself was lying. Then she remembered, it was Jeff, the only person she could trust not to lie, not to let her down.

'Trust me' she heard him whisper and before she could bottle it she did.

'I've fallen for you' she said before quickly looking away.

'But you're a lesbian' he said, trying to keep the shock out of his voice.

'Turns out I love you too much to care' she said looking back at him, waiting for his reaction.

'How long?' He asked.

'I don't know. After the attack you did so much for me, you still are doing. I was confused for a while but last night when I could hear you...I was jealous. I've realised that I don't care if you're a man or a woman, I love you for who you are, not what you are' she spilled out feeling relieved and petrified at the same time.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'Because you're with Mel and you're happy. I didn't want to ruin it for you'.

'Oh Dix' he said sighing and dropping his head.

'Anyway, you can go now if you want, I'll understand'. Dixie said looking at him.

Jeff looked up and square into her eyes 'I told you Princess, I'm not going anywhere'.

Dixie was shocked, she felt sure he would leave, but for a few seconds they both sat there in silence just looking at each other, each trying to work out the next move.

Jeff looked at Dixie his mind whirring. He'd had no idea but only now realised that last night must have been hell for her. He didn't know how he felt. He loved her but he'd never looked at her in that way before and he honestly didn't know if he would fancy her or not if he did. Mel was another issue but one that could be undone if he had to. After all, he had told Dixie she was his priority and he would stand by that. He truly loved her far more than any woman he'd ever known and if there was a chance for things to blossom between them both then he would apologise to Mel and leave her.

'What are you thinking?' Dixie asked worry written all over her face.

'I'm just confused. About everything. Don't worry though, I'm staying no matter what' he said, seeing her features relax a little. 'Do you mind if I go to bed? I'd like some time to think everything over'.

Dixie nodded, knowing that she too would need to have good think about everything that had just happened.

'Night' he said, getting up and walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his bedroom.

'Night' she whispered, wondering if she'd just made the biggest mistake of her life.


	11. Chapter 11

Note: thanks MrsJeffreyCollier for your kind review, I'm glad you are enjoying it! Thanks everyone else for reading as well!

The next morning Jeff woke up and quickly remembered everything that had happened the night before.

'What the hell am I going to do?' He said quietly to himself.

He had spent hours agonizing over what to do last night and in the end gave up, deciding to figure it out in the morning. Now it was the morning and he was still nowhere nearer to resolving the situation.

He didn't want to hurt Mel, they had been getting on great and having just slept together for the first time he knew that there probably couldn't be a worse time to leave her. However if he even had the smallest chance with Dixie he should take it surely? After all she was his wife, and he loved her completely.

'I'll have to put Mel off, for now at least' he muttered climbing out of bed. 'I'll just have to tell her I have lots of shifts so can't see her until Saturday' he reasoned, hoping she didn't twig that there was something wrong, especially if she thought it had something to do with them sleeping together. Walking out of his bedroom, he headed to the bathroom for a shower, his mind in total overload.

Dixie lay in bed, listening to Jeff moving about in the bathroom before the shower was switched on.

She knew she had done the right thing, after all Jeff always told her to tell the truth. He even told her to tell Cyd how she felt, and although that didn't go down as well as she had planned, she knew that this is what Jeff would want even if it led to all sorts of awkwardness and confusion.

She had barely slept all night but trusted him when he said he wouldn't leave. That didn't mean however that she wasn't absolutely petrified of seeing him. She had never felt awkward around Jeff but knew that she was going to experience that tenfold today!

Hearing him leave the bathroom and return to his bedroom she decided to head in there quickly, after all she wanted to be dressed when she saw him. That way if there were too many issues she could head out the front door to give them both some space.

Arriving back in her bedroom after the shower, she quickly got dressed and had just finished drying her hair when she heard the knock on her door. Getting up, she walked over and opened it to see Jeff standing awkwardly on the other side.

'Come on mate, we need a chat' he said before heading back along the landing and down the stairs with her following behind.

Walking into the lounge they sat on the sofa, both turned to face each other but neither knowing where to start.

'Tell me how you feel Dix' Jeff said looking her straight in the eye.

Dixie just looked at him for a few moments, not knowing where to start.

'You know I've always loved you but recently I've fallen in love with you' she said quietly, working hard to keep eye contact when all she wanted was to turn away for fear of what she might see.

'Are you sure Dix, you're a lesbian?' Jeff asked, wanting to make sure she was completely aware of how she truly felt.

'I know but it's beyond that. I don't fancy you because your male, I fancy you because I love you and you are the kindest, gentlest person I've ever met'.

'Are you sure that's not just love, rather than being in love?'

'No. You are so special to me and I can't bare you being with anybody else. The women that I go for, properly go for, well it's their personality that attracts me first before their looks. Well this time it's the same except it's not that I fancy your looks, but that I just don't care about them'.

'Thanks' Jeff said with a mock hurt tone to his voice.

'No, I don't mean it like that. I mean that I have grown to love them too, like when you have a girlfriend who isn't the prettiest but you grow to see the perfection in the imperfection because you love her. Well it's the same with you. You're perfectly handsome but your a man, but I can see past that. I love you whether you're male or female and because I love you everything else is secondary'.

'We have been together for years, why the sudden change of heart?' He asked gently, knowing how brave she was being telling him all this, baring her soul to him like this.

'Because over the last month you have held me and loved me and kissed me and I can't imagine being anywhere else in the world when I'm in your arms. I don't want anyone else, I just want you'.

'But Dix, if your not turned on by men how do you think we could...' He trailed off.

'Because hearing you the night before last, I was jealous. I wanted to be there, not Mel. I don't know if I'll ever want to have full on sex with you, especially after what they did to me, but I do know that I want to be in your bed, I want you to touch me, and love me, and be sexual with me. And I want to do the same to you'. After she said this she turned her head away, not wanting to see the repulsion in his eyes that she was sure would come.

'Thank you' he said. 'Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this'.

Dixie turned back and was surprised. It wasn't repulsion in his eyes but love.

'Your turn' she said, preparing herself to hear why it would never work.

'In truth, I don't honestly know what I want. I have never looked at you as anything other than a friend, and I don't know if I could fancy you or not, but I do know that I want to try. You are my wife and I love you so it makes sense that I give it a shot'.

'What about Mel?'

'I will put her off until next weekend. See how I feel by then. I'm not saying that I will be madly in love with you by then, but if I think we could honestly have something then I'll come clean to her then'.

'And if you don't?'

'If I don't think I could fancy you, well then I will tell Mel the truth about our marriage and see what she decides, but don't worry, I'll be considerate of your feelings whatever happens. I don't want to hurt you'.

'Thanks. But I still don't know how you will decide if you fancy me or not by the end of the week'.

'Well I already love you, I just need to decide if I would want to sleep with you. I have never looked at you in a sexual way before. With most women, I notice if they are hot when I meet them, especially if I am looking for a relationship, but I have never looked at you like that because I knew there was no chance. Now I shall'.

'So now you are going to try and perve over me for the next week' she said with a small smile on her lips.

'No' he laughed. 'I mean I'm just going to try and see you in new light...starting with a kiss?'

Dixie looked at him, she wanted to kiss him so badly, but not if it was going to go nowhere. She didn't want to feel like there was a chance, only for it to be taken away.

'I don't know, I'm not sure how that could help'.

'Usually you get to know someone a little and then kiss them, you know, see if theirs a connection. Well I already know you so...'

Dixie looked at him. She knew he would never purposely hurt her. Leaning forward she cupped his left cheek in her hand and gently placed her lips on his. Their kiss was tender, neither wanting to push too far. Dixie was pleased when she felt Jeff put one arm on her lower back and the other at the back of her head cradling it gently. The kiss remained soft, neither party sure of what the other exactly felt, but both enjoying it.

As they separated, faces just a couple of inches apart, Jeff looked her in the eyes, seeing all the love that she held for him. Sliding his hand from the back of her head he gently placed it in on her cheek, his thumb rubbing it gently. Leaning in again, he kissed her lips once more before pulling back completely.

'Thanks for letting me try that' he said, dropping his hand from her face and bringing the other one round from her back to settle on her leg, where he rubbed it gently.

Dixie didn't reply, she just looked at him, hoping that that wouldn't be the last time they did that. She had thought she could feel a connection, her heart had certainly soared with love, but she didn't know if Jeff felt the same.

'How did you feel?' Dixie asked quietly, hoping that it wouldn't be a straight off rejection.

'Like I just kissed the woman I love' he smiled.

Dixie smiled back feeling hopeful.

'Don't worry Princess, I don't want to mess with your heart. Just give me some time yeah?'

Dixie nodded and took his hand that was on her leg. Putting it around her, she leant into him, feeling him kiss the top of her head and rub her arm gently. Both thinking about what had just happened, and where it would all go from there.

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Over the next couple of days, Jeff took time to really notice Dixie. He studied her body, the way she moved. He noticed all the little things she did for him and thought back to that kiss. He imagined what it would be like to actually be with her sexually in bed. He knew it would be tough, she already had zero experience with men and on top of that she was attacked. He knew if they did get together he'd have to take it really slowly, let her be in control. He didn't mind though. Before Mel he couldn't remember the last time he had slept with someone. Actually he could - when his wife had left him, so it was not like he couldn't wait.

That evening they were going out for a meal. They had decided that they should get out, be with each other in different settings, see how they felt. So here Jeff was, sitting at the kitchen table, car keys in hand, waiting for Dixie.

As she came in she looked worried.

'Is it too much?' She asked, not sure where he was taking her.

'No, you look beautiful' he said, looking at the stunning black dress she was wearing that was nipped in at the waist and had a heart shaped neckline to make the most of her cleavage, with little capped sleeves.

As Jeff looked at her, he could honestly say he found her sexy, her legs looked great in her natural coloured tights, and the red stilettos only helped to make her look that bit sexier.

Going over to her, he took her hand and just stood in front of her looking her up and down. 'Really beautiful' he whispered looking her in the eyes.

Dixie smiled, she wanted to look her best for him and it had obviously worked.

'Come on, let's go Princess' Jeff said leading her to the front door.

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When they got to the restaurant, Dixie was pleasantly surprised. Jeff had booked them a table at the nicest restaurant in town.

Going inside, they were seated by the window, and looking around Dixie was pleased with what she had chosen to wear. Anything else and she would have felt underdressed.

'This is really nice, thank you' she said patting his hand. She was just about to take it away when he took hold of it, and caressed it with his thumb.

Dixie looked up at him, wondering what he was thinking, she wasn't sure if he genuinely wanted to hold it or if he was just testing how he felt.

Jeff looked at her, saw the confusion in her eyes and smiled. He loved her, and it just felt right. He saw her sex appeal for the first time this evening and was definitely starting to look at her as more than a friend.

As the evening wore on, they chatted about random things, just enjoying each other's company, neither of them focusing on why they were there. By the time they asked for the bill Dixie felt the happiest she had in a long while and thought that even if nothing came of it, and Jeff still didn't feel like he was attracted to her, then at least she had had an enjoyable time.

When the waiter came over with the card machine, Dixie began to pick up her handbag to retrieve her purse. 'How much do I owe you?'.

'I'm paying Princess' Jeff said putting his card in the machine and typing in his code.

'Don't be silly, that's got to be over a hundred quid' she said, opening up her purse.

'Honestly Dix, it's on me. Just call it a birthday treat'

'But it isn't my birthday for months yet'.

'Let me be the gentleman eh?' He said taking his card back and putting it in his wallet before standing up ready to leave.

Dixie didn't want to let him pay, but did as asked. She knew Jeff could be a proud man sometimes, so she figured if it made him happy then she would.

Walking outside into the cool night air, they quickly made their way over to the car and got in.

'Thank you for a lovely evening' Dixie said as Jeff started the car.

'You're welcome. I rather enjoyed it too' he said smiling at her before making his way out of the car park.

They sat in a comfortable silence all the way home. Dixie staring out the window at the passing night time scenery, whilst Jeff couldn't help but think about how he felt.

He had seen a side of her tonight that he had never noticed before. He didn't fancy her with the mad passion you might get at the start of a relationship when everything was new and exciting, but he fancied her like a husband still fancies their wife after years of marriage. When the lust has gone but the love has remained. At that point he made his decision. He had married her because he was happy to spend the rest of his life with her if need be, and now he couldn't imagine his life without her. Maybe he didn't fancy her with all the lust that he fancied Mel, but he did love her and she had definitely proved how sexy she could be tonight.

Arriving home, they got out of the car and went inside. Dixie slipped off her heals and walked into the kitchen to put the kettle on.

Petting Little Abs, Jeff took off his jacket and hung it on the banister before following her into the kitchen.

Watching her stand at the counter top filling the kettle, he walked over, slipping his arms around her waist, and turning her to face him.

Dixie looked at him confused for a few seconds until he leant forward and gently took her lips in his, his hands remaining on her hips. Dixie raised her arms and gently put one on his shoulder and the other on his lower arm, stroking it softly with her thumb.

As they parted Dixie just looked at him.

'Why?' She asked

'Because I have made my decision', he said, keeping his hands on her hips.

'So was that a 'goodbye' kiss or an 'I want you' kiss?' She asked, believing she knew the answer but wanting to check.

'There was never really any competition. You're my wife and I love you'.

'That was never what was being questioned', she said still waiting for her answer.

'Dix, you looked stunning tonight. How could I not want you? How did I not notice how sexy you were before?'

'Because like you've said previously, you weren't looking'.

'Well I am now' he replied, leaning in to kiss her again.

This time he brought her in close, cupping her head in one hand and resting his other at the base of her spine. Dixie put a hand at the base of his neck, wrapping the other around his waist, feeling amazed at what was happening.

As the kiss deepened, Jeff hesitantly began to explore her mouth with his tongue. Not feeling the rejection that he'd anticipated, he became more confident and felt Dixie also begin to lose her inhibitions and explore his mouth also.

His heart swelling with love for the woman in his arms, he decided he wanted to explore her body more, so started to lower the hand cupping her head to her shoulders, working it gently down her back, before finally reaching her bum. As she didn't move it he lowered his other hand down there as well and left them there for the remainder of the kiss.

As the kiss finished, their arms remained in place, both just enjoying the closeness of each other.

'You've got you hands on my bum' Dixie whispered with a smile on her lips.

'I know' Jeff smirked, giving it a quick squeeze.

Dixie laughed quietly, making no attempt to remove them. Lowering her hand from his neck, she rested it on his chest, and began to fiddle with a button on his shirt.

'How will you tell Mel?' She asked, feeling sorry for the lady.

'I don't know, but I said I'd meet up with her again on Saturday so I shall do it then'.

'Is she coming here?' Dixie asked, knowing that if she was it might be best if she wasn't in.

'No. I thought neutral ground might be better. I might meet her at the park, so that she can just walk away when it's over, plus there shouldn't be anybody listening in that way, not like in a pub or restaurant'.

'What will you tell her?' Dixie asked, uncertain of how much he was going to explain.

'Everything. Well that's if she'll let me. I'll explain that we are married and that your feelings have changed for me and that mine are developing for you. Well that's the theory anyway. In reality I might get as far as 'we need to talk' and she just turn around and run'.

'I'm sorry for putting you in this situation' Dixie said, feeling for Jeff. He was a good guy, the best and because of her Mel would be mad at him.

'I'm glad you did. It's better to find out now than 3 years down the line' Jeff said, moving one of his hands up her back to pull her in for a hug.

After stranding like that for a couple of minutes Dixie began to yawn.

'Come on Princess, it's time for bed I think' Jeff said, lowering his hands and stepping back.

Dixie just nodded and rubbed her eyes.

'Talking about beds, where am I sleeping?' Jeff asked.

'In your own bed' Dixie replied, but continued quickly when she saw the look of hurt wash over his face. 'With me'.

'Why in my bed then?' He asked, having got used to sharing hers.

'Because you came into my bed to help chase away bad dreams, and to holds me when I was scared. I don't want that to be the reason we share a bed anymore. I want to be in your bed because I want to be with you, not because I need you to be with me'.

Jeff just smiled at her, before saying thank you.

'For what?'

'Making me feel loved'.

It was then that Dixie realised how much she had taken from Jeff in the last month. All his energy, patience and love. They had all been given to her in abundance, and she had never feared that they would run out. But now she could see that Jeff was in need of some attention himself, and she swore to herself that she would give back just as much as she had taken. She knew that she would still need him and that there would be times when she would curl up in his arms and cry, but for now the worst was over and she was going to make sure that he knew exactly how much he meant to her.

'You are loved' she said, planting a quick kiss on his lips before heading upstairs to get ready for bed, the tea she was originally going to make, forgotten.

Jeff quickly let Little Abs out to do his business before calling him back in and locking the back door, checking that the front was locked as well and heading up to bed.

Walking into his room, he quickly got changed into his pyjamas and then went to the bathroom to clean his teeth, before heading back to the bedroom.

Climbing into bed, it was wasn't long before Dixie knocked on the door.

'Come in' he called, watching her walk in, switch off the light and climb into bed beside him.

Laying down, he wrapped his arm around her whilst she laid her head on his chest, a position that had become rather familiar over the last month, especially after she'd had nightmares.

Closing her eyes, Dixie laid a hand on his chest, stroking his body through his tshirt and muttering a quiet goodnight, before drifting off to sleep.

'Goodnight sweetheart' Jeff said, soon following her into the land of nod.


	12. Chapter 12

**Note: just a quick warning that from now on this story will be including more adult content as it explores more of Jeff and Dixie's growing relationship. Thanks m-is-for-molly-and-Mansfield and MrsJeffreyCollier for your lovely reviews and everyone else for reading!**

Jeff woke up early the next day to the sound of the bin men. He didn't have to be in work until late morning so was happy to just lie there, watching Dixie as she slept. He knew he had made the right decision. Maybe life would have been easier with Mel, no nightmares, no fear, no need for constant reassurance that she was safe, more experience in the bedroom, but he loved Dixie and would much rather have a more turbulent life with her.

After all, they were a great team and he knew that whatever they went through they would always be there for one another. Plus, after seeing her last night, he had no more fears about whether she could turn him on. Had it been anyone else and he would have led them straight upstairs for a night of passion, but Dixie was different, she was special and he would give her as much time as she needed.

Dixie began to wake up, also hearing the sound of the bin men and realising it must be 7am. Opening her eyes, she wondered where she was for a couple of seconds before remembering what had happened the night before. Rolling onto her side she came face to face with Jeff.

'Morning Princess' he said, leaning in for a kiss. He put his hand on her hip and started to move it up her side, stopping himself when he got to the bottom of her pyjama top that had gathered at the dip in her waistline.

Dixie could feel Jeff's hand and knew he was stopping himself from going any further. She wasn't sure where he wanted to touch her but she trusted him completely and knew that if she felt uncomfortable he would stop. Pulling back from the kiss she looked him in the eyes.

'It's ok' she said quietly, taking his hand and putting it beneath her top.

Jeff just looked her in the eyes for a few seconds, checking that she was certain before gradually bringing his hand up her side and then under her breast. Studying her face to check she was ok, he gently ran his fingers over it before leaning back in to kiss her again. Feeling her roll over onto her back, he leant up on one arm, to get a better position.

Dixie was enjoying Jeff's exploration and was pleased that he wanted to touch her like that. Lifting up her arm, she gently placed her hand under his t-shirt and began to run it up his back. She had never thought she would enjoy touching or kissing a man, but as she reminded herself, this wasn't just any man, this was Jeff and to every rule there was an exception.

Pulling back from the kiss, his hand still caressing her breasts, Jeff just looked down at her, amazed by how far she had let him go.

'Thank you for trusting me' he said looking deep into her eyes.

'Thank you for choosing me' she replied running her hand down his arm.

Trailing his hand up to her collar bone and stroking her cheek with the back of his hand, he began to realise how lucky he was. She knew everything about him - his bitter divorce with Lucy and the loss of his kids to London, the college shootings and the death of Polly. She'd met his family and dealt with his brother. She had seen him at his worst and had been there for him, no questions asked.

'I love you' he said.

'I know'.

'No, not like before. You know I have loved you for years, but now I am in love with you'.

Dixie smiled, her heart melting. 'I love you too'.

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A few hours later Jeff was just about ready to head off to work.

'See you about 11:30 then Princess' he said walking into the lounge where Dixie was doing the vacuuming.

'Hmm?' She said looking up and turning the Hoover off.

'I said see you at 11:30' he repeated giving Little Abs a quick stroke goodbye.

'Ok, have fun!'

'Ha, no chance of that, I'm teamed up with Norman!'

'Play nicely' she smiled 'and if you're good I'll let you carry on where we left off this morning'. She knew it was hard for him, they had been partners for years and knew each other inside out. He missed having her at work but they were both fully aware that she wasn't ready to go back yet.

Jeff's face lit up 'I'll keep you to that'.

'I know you will' she smiled, glad that he had perked up.

'Call me if you need anything' he said. He never stopped worrying about her when he was out. She had relaxed a lot more recently and had stopped having so many breakdowns, but even so, he knew she was still fragile and even the smallest thing could affect her.

'I'll be fine, now go' she said, watching him leave the lounge and hearing the front door shut behind him.

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Dixie had spent the day cleaning the house and tidying the garden. She had vacuumed, washed the windows, cleaned the bathroom, done the washing and mowed the lawn. Now she was feeling tired and it was only ten o'clock. She knew Jeff had another hour left at work and he wouldn't be home for half an hour after that. Going upstairs she changed into her pyjamas before coming back down and curling up on the sofa in front of the TV.

With heavy eyelids she began to fall asleep and only woke up again when she felt someone gently stroking her hair.

'Wake up Princess, I'm back' Jeff said quietly, whilst crouched down in front of the sofa.

Opening her eyes and sitting up Dixie saw Jeff right in front of her.

'Hi, how was your day?' She asked sleepily, pleased that he was home.

'All the better for your little promise earlier' he said grinning at her.

'What little promise?' She teased.

'You know, about continuing from where we left off this morning'.

'I don't remember that' she said grinning at him.

'Yes you do, now get up them stairs' he laughed pulling her up from the sofa.

Dixie chuckled and did as she was told, letting Jeff sort out Little Abs and lock up.

When Jeff got to the top of the stairs he went into the bathroom and picked up his pyjamas from the sideboard where he had left them this morning, getting changed quickly and heading into his bedroom.

Finding Dixie already lying in bed, he switched off the light and joined her.

'I have been waiting for this all day!' Jeff said as he put his hand up to stroke her face.

'So have I'.

'Tell me if you become uncomfortable' Jeff said, the darkness obscuring his vision slightly. He could see the outline of Dixie's face and her features, but he couldn't see the detail. He wouldn't be able to tell if there was fear in her eyes, and the last thing he wanted to do was go beyond her limits.

'I will' she said, loving her husband even more. He cared about her, he didn't want to do the tiniest thing to hurt her, emotionally or physically, and that made him even more special to her.

Jeff began to run his hand down her face, softly stroking her neck with the back of his hand before lowering it under the duvet and down her chest. Getting to the bottom of her T-shirt, he dipped his hand underneath, gently stroking her stomach before moving his hand up to her breasts. Looking into her eyes, he continued running his hand over her chest, back and stomach for a couple of minutes making sure he knew his limits.

'Ok?' He asked gently.

'Yes' she nodded, and lifted her arm up to stroke his face.

Leaning forwards, she took his lips in hers and began to roll onto her back. Jeff leaned over her, moving his hand over her stomach and breasts, drawing random patterns using his hand and fingers.

Deepening the kiss, whilst keeping it slow and gentle, their tongues occasionally entwined as they explored each other's mouths.

Dixie savoured Jeff's touch and in turn lowered her hand down his back and under his T-shirt stroking his lower back and hip.

Jeff was enjoying the feeling of someone caressing him. He knew Dixie was comfortable at the moment, and he loved being able to touch her in a more intimate way. However, stroking Dixie's breasts he was having to stop himself becoming too aroused, worried that any physical changes in the trouser department would upset her.

Dixie continued to explore his lower back. Working up the courage she slowly began to lower her hand under his pyjama bottoms, feeling his bum for the first time. Stroking it gently for a few moments, she gave a gentle squeeze but almost immediately felt Jeff pull away, his lips leaving hers and his hand coming out from under her top.

'Stop' she heard him say in a breathy voice.

'Sorry, have I done something wrong?'

Jeff could hear the worried tone to her voice and instantly regretted pulling back so abruptly.

'No, it felt good, really good, too good if you know what I mean'.

'Too good?'

'Yeah, any more of that and I'd soon have a little friend popping up to say hello'.

'Oh' Dixie laughed. 'Sorry I didn't mean to start something that we couldn't finish'.

'Don't be, like I said, I really enjoyed it, I just didn't want to upset you by letting it go too far'. He said, taking her hand in his.

'It wouldn't have upset me, I don't think. It's just a physical reaction to what we were doing. It's you Jeff, I trust you, I know you wouldn't take it any further'. Inside Dixie was secretly pleased she had been able to make him feel like that. She'd never had any experience with men and had just tried to do what she knew that she and her ex girlfriends had enjoyed.

'Come here Princess' Jeff said, extending his arm for a cuddle, watching Dixie roll back onto her side next to him.

After a few moments of silence Jeff gave a sly grin into the darkness.

'I bet that's the best bum you've felt in a while?'

'Yeah, and the hairiest!' Dixie smiled, giving it a quick pat.

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As the week went by, Dixie and Jeff continued with life like normal, well as normal as it could be after what had happened to her.

Jeff had quite a few early starts at work, and so although they'd enjoyed sharing kisses, he hadn't had much time or energy for anything else.

By the time Saturday came around he was tying himself up in knots as to what he was going to say to Mel. He had arranged to meet her at the entrance to their local park at one o'clock, and having just arrived he was hoping something would come up and she wouldn't be able to make it.

Waiting for Mel, he began to go over in his head what he and Dixie had discussed. He wasn't sure how much he would be able to say before she inevitably left but he knew that whatever he said it would always come across as if he'd played her.

'Hi' he heard, turning to see Mel.

'Hi'. He was about to ask her how she was but then decided he really didn't want to know because it would only make what he was about to do even harder.

'Shall we go in?' he asked, leading her through the big iron gates.

Walking through the park, Mel began to tell him all about her week. Jeff was glad for the light conversation and when he found a park bench that was free he went and sat down with her following.

'I need to tell you something' he said whilst looking at her.

'That sounds ominous' she smiled.

'I know this will be hard for you and if you want to I will totally understand if you just walk away but I would quite like you to hear me out' he continued.

'You're scaring me now'.

'Dixie and I...well...we're married'.

Mel just sat their not quite understanding what she was hearing. 'But she's a lesbian'.

'Yes she is, but her dad didn't know that, so when he was dying he wanted nothing more than to see her settled...with a husband'.

'So you married her'

'Yes, and then we just never got divorced'.

'So what happens now with us? Will you divorce her, because I must say it's a bit odd us sleeping together whilst your wife is next door'.

'That's the other thing' he said, knowing that this was going to be the killer.

'What?'

'Well, a month ago, when Dixie was hurt, it was a lot more serious than I made out. She was attacked by two men at gunpoint'.

Mel just gasped, not quite believing what she was hearing. 'By attacked you mean...'.

'Raped'.

'Oh my gosh'

'They broke her, the Dixie you have seen is not even half the person she used to be. I have spent the last month trying to comfort her, help her and just be there for her. Well that has meant that we have got a lot closer and it turns out that she has started developing feelings for me'. Jeff could see the look of pain on Mel's face. She knew where this was going.

'And you have started developing feelings for her'. She said quietly. Sadly.

'I promise you, when we slept together I had no idea. I was totally into you, am totally into you'.

'But she is your wife'.

'Yes'.

They sat in silence for a while. Neither of them looking at each other. Neither knowing what to say.

'I'm so sorry. She's my best friend, we're married and I already loved her, but over this past week I have began to fall in love with her. If I had known how she felt I would never have suggested you stay. You're a lovely person, you deserve better than me'.

'That's why you told me you were busy wasn't it'.

'Yes. I was confused and wanted time to think things through. I really am sorry. You really do deserve better'.

'No I don't' Mel said after a short pause. 'I just deserve the same as Dixie. You're a good bloke, and I hate to admit it but you're doing the right thing. Even if I don't like it'.

'I'm so sorry' he said, feeling awful.

'Just make each other happy' she smiled gently before getting up and walking away. Her heart breaking in two.

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Arriving home at three thirty, Jeff walked through the front door and went in search of Dixie. He felt terrible for what he had done, and needed to just be held.

'How did it go?' She asked coming in through the back door with Little Abs.

Not answering, he just walked up to her and was glad when she took him into a tight hug.

Smelling her scent, he knew there was nowhere he'd rather be than here in her arms. Turning his head towards her he kissed her neck gently.

'I love you' he said.

'I love you too' she said rubbing his back.

After a short while they parted and Dixie repeat her previous question.

'It went well, which to be honest made it worse. She was so understanding, so nice, I would rather she had shouted, screamed, slapped me, anything to make me think 'wow lucky escape', but no she just accepted it'.

'I'm so proud of you' Dixie said. He could have lied and she wouldn't have blamed him. He could have ended it without any explanation, but he was a decent man and had said from the start that he wanted her to know the truth.

'I'm not, she was lovely Dix, so lovely and look how I treated her'.

'Jeff you treated her with respect. Plenty of men wouldn't. Don't blame yourself, blame me'.

'No, this isn't your fault, it was my decision'.

'Not one your regretting I hope?' Dixie asked feeling worried.

'Course not' he replied realising how he must sound.

'Good, because look what I fished out whilst you were away'.

Jeff watched as Dixie reached inside her pocket before taking her hand back out and opening it.

'Our wedding rings' he said, seeing his own plain gold band and Dixie's thin patterned one.

'I thought that maybe we could wear them now we are an item and Mel has been told?'.

'Great idea' Jeff said, picking up Dixie's. 'Let's hope they still fit'.

Dixie put out her hand and Jeff gently placed the ring onto her finger.

'It feels strange wearing a ring just their' she said, the last time she wore it being the day of their wedding.

'A good strange I hope' Jeff said, watching as Dixie returned the favour.

'The best' she replied, finally feeling like they were properly husband and wife.


	13. Chapter 13

Note: thanks again for reading/reviewing!

'What a day' Jeff said as he came in from work.

'What happened?' Dixie called from the kitchen.

'Three prank calls, each from separate locations and different numbers but the same group of kids. Then to top it off I stepped in dog muck when I caught up with the little sods'.

Dixie had to suppress a smile as he walked into the kitchen. She knew how Jeff got with prank calls, and could easily imagine the suffering that Norman must have had all day!

'Well you're home now' she said giving him a quick kiss as he came up to her. 'Go and sit down, dinner will be ready in ten minutes'.

'Very domesticated' Jeff said, taking a seat at the kitchen table. 'I could get used to this you know, you cooking and cleaning whilst I, the man of the house, go off to work and bring home the bacon'.

'You'll be lucky' she laughed. 'As soon as I'm back to work you'll be head housemaid again'.

'Well at least I'm still man of the house' Jeff said, puffing out his chest and placing his hands on his hips.

'You've got to be kidding haven't you! That's Little Abs'.

'Why you cheeky mare' Jeff laughed, jumping up from the kitchen table and going over to Dixie, grabbing her and slapping her bum as she flailed about laughing.

As she tried turning away from him however, the handle of the pan of boiling water on the stove got knocked, tipping the saucepan up and the water all down her left arm.

'ARGH' she screamed jumping away, but the damage had been done.

'Dixie!' Jeff exclaimed, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the sink to run cold water on it.

'I'm so sorry Dix' he said as he saw her try but fail to hold back the tears of shock and pain.

'It's ok, it's not your fault' she said, not wanting him to blame himself.

'Yes it is, I should have known better, messing about with you by the stove. Think about how many people we have seen over the years with burn injuries for similar reasons'. He hated himself for what he had done. Going to grab the phone he quickly switched off the hob before ringing an ambulance.

'Jeff it's ok love, I'll be fine' she said wiping her tears as he put down the phone.

'It's not ok Princess' he replied rubbing her back.

'Jeffrey, don't go blaming yourself. That's an order!'

'But Dix-'

'I said no! It was an accident'

'Yeah that I caused' he muttered under his breath.

Dixie turned and gave him a stern glare.

'Fine fine, it was an accident' he said, with a note of exasperation to his voice.

When the ambulance arrived a short while later, Jeff went to the door to greet Big Mac and Iain.

'We wondered who we'd get' he said as he took them through to the kitchen.

'What's happened here then?' Iain asked, walking over to the sink and taking a look at Dixie's arm.

'I was cooking dinner when I knocked a pan of boiling water down my arm' she said, seeing the look on Jeff's face of pain and annoyance that she wasn't telling the whole truth.

'Ah well, kitchens are dangerous places, you need to be careful when you're around boiling water you know' Big Mac said earning himself a glare from Jeff.

'Yeah I know' Dixie replied, trying to end that particular conversation as soon as possible for fear of what Jeff might say.

'Right, let's get you sorted then' Iain said, giving Big Mac a list of what he needed.

Fifteen minutes later they were all climbing into the ambulance, Big Mac in the drivers seat and the rest in the back.

'So how are you anyway?' Iain asked, having not seen Dixie since her attack.

'Getting there' she replied with a smile. 'Not ready to return just yet but definitely feeling much better'.

'Good, we've all been missing you'.

'Thanks. Oh and thanks for the card you all signed as well. It was really kind'.

'Hey no problem, to be honest, we just want you back. That way we don't have to be partnered up with this old grump' Iain joked.

'Yeah I heard about today' Dixie smiled.

'Can we not talk about it eh? It's been the day from hell' Jeff complained, meaning that the rest of the journey to hospital was done in near silence.

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'Hey you' Zoe said, waking into Dixie's cubicle with Tess.

'Hi' Dixie replied chirpily whilst Jeff just gave a short 'hello'.

'What's happened here then?'

'I spilt some boiling water down my arm. It's looks worse than it is' Dixie replied, hearing Jeff huff in the corner.

'You alright there Jeff?' Zoe asked with a smile on her face.

'Yeah, magical. You?'

Zoe and Tess just looked at Dixie with curiosity on their faces. This was not the Jeff that they were used to.

'Jeff love, do you think you could get me a cup of tea. Not that muck out of the machine though, go to the staff room or the canteen' Dixie asked, wanting to get him out of there.

'Fine' he said, walking out of the cubicle.

'He's a bit upset' Dixie said as Zoe began to look at the arm. 'We were mucking around and he's blaming himself'.

'Mucking around in what way?' Tess asked noticing the ring on Dixie's finger.

Dixie noticed that Zoe and Tess had both clocked the ring.

'Are you two...?' Zoe asked trailing off with a glint in her eye.

'Yes' Dixie smiled at them both.

'I noticed he was wearing his ring yesterday, but didn't put two and two together at the time' Tess said.

'It only really became official a couple of days ago when he split up with Mel. But he has been so good to me recently. I don't know what I would have done without him. I just ended up sort of falling for him'.

'Ah Dix I'm so happy for you both' Tess said.

'So does this mean we have to start warning all the male nurses off you now' Zoe teased, moving out of the way for Tess to dress the wound.

'No' Dixie laughed. 'I'm still a lesbian, but Jeff is different. Obviously I know he is a man, but I just don't look at him like that. I just see him as Jeff, and it's him who I fancy, his sex doesn't come into it'.

'It will soon if it hasn't already!' Zoe joked.

'We've had our fun' Dixie smiled slyly, 'but no, not yet'.

'You dark horse' Tess grinned, just as Jeff came back into the cubicle to see all eyes on him.

'What?' He asked, passing Dixie the mug.

'Nothing Mr Collier' Zoe replied before giving Dixie one last smile and leaving the cubicle.

'You told them didn't you?' Jeff asked.

'Your rings kind of gave it away' Tess replied, finishing dressing Dixie's arm. 'Congratulations, anyway it's good to see this one looking so happy'.

'Thanks' Jeff replied with a small smile on his lips. He was pleased Dixie hadn't denied it.

'Now I'd better get on, but you two are free to go and enjoy the rest of your evening'.

'Thanks mate' Dixie replied, watching Tess slip away.

'You don't mind do you?'

'No of course not, I'm pleased. At least something goods come out of all this' Jeff replied, taking Dixie's hand and giving it a gently squeeze.

'Good, now come on, let's go, I'm starving'.

'I've only just brought you the tea'.

'It's too weak, where did you get it?'

'Charlie had just made it, but I managed to charm it off of him'.

'Well on the way out you can charm it back onto him' Dixie replied, climbing off the bed and following Jeff out of the cubicle.

xxxxxxxx

When they arrived home Jeff cleaned up the mess before salvaging the rest of their dinner.

Afterwards they both headed up to bed as it was now eleven o'clock.

'Come here Princess, I haven't kissed you better' Jeff said, climbing into bed and leaning over Dixie who was lying on her back.

'I think you owe me more than a kiss' she said, just before his lips reached hers.

'What do you have in mind?'

'Just a little fun, but maybe don't stop quite so early this time?'

'What do you mean exactly?' Jeff asked, wanting to make sure he knew her limits.

'Well we don't have to stop just because you begin to feel a little aroused. I'm not saying that I can go any further than before, just that you don't have to stop on my account'.

'Dix, I'd love to but I don't really fancy lying in bed afterwards with an erection that I can do nothing about' he said gently.

'I'm not asking you to' she replied, rubbing his cheek. 'All I'm saying is that, if you need it, you can always head off to my room afterwards to sort yourself out'.

'Are you sure?' He asked, looking down into her eyes, trying to gauge her emotions.

'Jeff I love you. I want to be able to enjoy you and we're never going to get very far if we have to keep stopping. This way, we can have fun without you having to feel like you have to restrain yourself too much'.

Jeff couldn't believe what he was hearing. After all she'd been through by the hands of them animals, and here she was doing this for him.

Leaning in he kissed her gently.

'I love you so much Mrs Collier'.

'I love you too Mr Collier'.

Throwing the duvet down the bed, Jeff looked down at Dixie in the low light of her bedside lamp.

'May I?' He asked taking the bottom of her t-shirt and lifting it up her stomach a little.

Dixie just nodded and sat up a little so Jeff could remove it before chucking it to the floor by the side of the bed.

Taking her lead from him, Dixie also took his t-shirt and began to lift it up and over his head.

'You're beautiful' Jeff said, seeing her upper body for the first time.

'You're not too bad yourself' she replied, stroking her hand down his chest. The one that she had seen a thousand times before but rarely touched.

Jeff leant down and peppered kisses over her stomach, looking up at Dixie the whole time, checking she was ok.

'How have I been so lucky?' She thought, stroking his head as he made his way up her stomach and towards her breasts.

As he got further up, she felt him begin to use his tongue to draw delicate patterns, whilst using his hand to stroke and caress.

He was already starting to feel aroused. 'Are you sure Dixie, what you said, are you sure it's still ok?'.

'Yes' she whispered, smiling gently as she noticed the tent that was beginning to appear in his pyjama bottoms.

Jeff leaned down and gave her a long sensual kiss, all the while stroking her breasts.

Dixie took the opportunity of him being so close to run her fingers down his back and under his pyjama waist band. Softly stroking his bum, she remembered his reaction last time and began to give it a gentle squeeze.

'Mmmmm' he moaned into the kiss, his erection knocking her side.

'Sorry' he whispered into her mouth, trying to move his body back a bit.

'Don't be' she replied, her hand on his bum stopping him from going anywhere. 'Just enjoy yourself'.

'I am' he breathed heavily, deepening the kiss as his arousal increased.

Dixie herself was starting to feel slightly aroused but knew that unlike Jeff, she wouldn't be sorting herself out later. She had already decided that she wasn't ready to do that just yet, even to herself but she wouldn't tell Jeff that, for fear that he would slow things down between them.

Jeff began to roll onto his back, never quite breaking the kiss. As he did so, Dixie removed her hand out of his trousers and started to run it up his chest.

Kneeling next him, she began to kiss her way down his body, like he had kissed his way up hers. Jeff watched Dixie as she did this, her breasts hanging over him, gently resting on his stomach as she made her way down. Lifting his hand he gently cupped one whilst closing his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of what his wife was doing to him.

Dixie could hear his breathing deepen and the occasional soft moans escaping from his lips.

As she reached just above the waist line to his trousers with her lips, he moaned once more, this time louder than before.

Stroking her hair he began to speak.

'Princess, I'm going to have to go next door now' he said breathily, whilst looking down the bed at her.

'Ok' she replied, sitting up and noticing the slightly damp patch on the trousers over his erection.

Crawling back up the bed she gave him one final kiss.

'I love you' she said.

'I love you too' he replied, showing all his love through his eyes.

Lying down she watched as he sat up and walked out of the bedroom. Hearing her bedroom door open then shut, it wasn't long before she heard gentle moaning coming from next door.

After a few minutes he returned, his cheeks looking slightly flushed. Climbing back onto the bed and pulling the duvet up to cover their half naked bodies he began to speak.

'Thanks for that Princess. It was amazing. Sorry if I got a bit loud, either in hear or next door. I tried not to' he said, once again worrying about the reoccurrence of bad memories.

'Don't be, like I said before, it's you that I can hear, not them. I like hearing you let go in front of me, hearing how I make you feel. It's sexy'.

Drawing her in for a hug, he held her tight, so in love with the woman in his arms.

'Do you need to...finish off?' He asked gently, looking down into her eyes.

'No, I'm not quite ready for that just yet, but when I am I want you to be by my side'.

'Ok Princess' he said giving her one final kiss goodnight.

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Dixie awoke the next morning with a smile on her lips, remembering what they had done the night before. The only worry she had now however was that she was lying there topless. This wasn't an issues whilst she was in bed, after all Jeff had touched her enough times by now, but the only time he had actually seen her half naked was last night, in the low light of the bedside lamp. She was worried that if he saw her in the full light of day, without feeling aroused, he might be put off. After all, she was a natural lady, a normal lady of average size and not what society portrays to be beautiful.

Deciding to try and fetch her T-shirt from the floor a few metres away, Dixie began to move gently to the edge of the bed before starting to get out.

'Where are you going Princess?' Jeff asked in a sleepy voice.

Dixie turned her head and saw Jeff looking at her, one eye open.

'Just to fetch my T-shirt'.

'Why? I prefer you without it' he said with a sleepy smile on his lips.

'Not in this light you wouldn't' Dixie said beginning to stand up, all the while keeping her back to him.

'Yes I would' Jeff said climbing across the bed and kneeling on the edge, his arms wrapped around her waist to stop her going anywhere.

'Your beautiful Dix' he said, turning her around.

Looking down at him, Dixie could tell that he meant it. 'I was worried that if you saw me in the morning light you might be put off' she said quietly, whilst looking into his eyes, trying to judge his reaction.

'Of course not, why would you think that'.

'Well, I'm not a model, I'm not 20 and my body isn't quite as toned as it once was. You're a good looking bloke, you could get anyone you want and you probably have over the years. I've never had a relationship with a man before, I don't know what you expect'.

Jeff just looked at his wife, seeing her lack of confidence in her body.

'Dix, as you've said yourself, I'm not just any man. I'm me. Maybe I do joke about appreciating a certain type of woman but surely you know that I'm not really that shallow! I know you inside out, and it's not like I'm going to be shocked by anything you can throw at me. I've seen you age over the years we've known each other, like you've seen me age too. I don't fancy any other woman, I fancy you. Surely last night was enough to prove that! You're beautiful. I don't want a skinny bird, that has nothing to show. I liked being able to cup your breast in my hand and cuddle you in my arms. You're perfect to me. Anyway, it's me that has to worry, after all, you're right, I have seen plenty of naked women in my time, you on the other hand haven't seen plenty of naked men. When we do eventually reveal all, I'll just have to hope that you won't suddenly be turned off after seeing me'.

Dixie looked at Jeff and watched as he placed a soft kiss in the middle of her chest. She had heard everything he said and loved it. She knew that he meant it but just because she knew it, it didn't mean that she believed it. Her lack of confidence about her body was her problem however, not his and she knew that she would never be this worried in front of another woman.

'Thanks handsome. I've just never been with a man before, so like I said, I don't know what to expect, what you expect'.

'Just expect me to love you, all of you. Everything that you worry about, or dislike, just know that I will see it as a perfect imperfection. Many women are nothing like how the media portrays them. Well the same is true for men. I'm not some bloke that takes looks over personality, surely you know that by now. I love you and I couldn't care how you looked as long as you are still you underneath. Honestly babe, I wouldn't change a thing'.

Dixie gave a small smile. 'Why did Lucy ever give you up?' She asked rhetorically, thinking that she would never make the same mistake.

'Because I wasn't good enough for her apparently' Jeff said taking Dixie's hand and leading her back onto the bed.

'No, you're too good for her. She was a fool who didn't know a good thing when she had it'.

'Well it was for the best. We just ended up cheating on each other. I didn't like who I became when I was with her. I do now'.

'Good' Dixie said, laying down next to him and placing her head on his chest. 'Because if you cheat on me there'll be trouble!'.

'You do know I didn't start it right?' Jeff whined.

'I know, just a little reminder though' she said patting his stomach gently before looking up at him.

'Thanks' he replied. 'The same applies to you though. I'm not going through all that again!'.

'I've never cheated in my life I'll have you know!'

'Good, neither have I other than Lucy. I'm not sure that counts though. After all, I only did it to make myself feel better'.

'I know handsome, I know'.


	14. Chapter 14

Over the next month Dixie grew stronger. Her nightmares had decreased and although she was occasionally frightened she rarely broke down anymore. It had been over 2 months since the attack and she had even discussed returning to work with Jeff. This however had been put off when they were given the date for the trial. It was due in four weeks time - just before her birthday. Due to the amount of evidence stacked up against the gunmen, they had both chosen to plead guilty. Dixie was relieved that it meant she definitely wouldn't have to give evidence however she still wanted to attend. She wanted to watch them acknowledge what they had done to her, she wanted to watch them get locked up for a very long time.

Suddenly Dixie was drawn out of her thoughts to hear her phone beeping.

'Sorry Princess. Gonna be late. We're one down and they need me to cover until they can draft in a replacement. J x'

'Brilliant' Dixie said sarcastically, getting off the sofa and letting Little Abs out into the garden.

It was ten o'clock and she had been for Jeff to return, but seeing as he was going to be late she decided she might as well go to bed instead. She wouldn't normally be so annoyed, she knew after all that these things happened, however this was the fifth time in two weeks that he had been late back and she was starting to get a little suspicious.

After a few minutes she called Little Abs back in before locking the door and heading up to bed.

Climbing into Jeff's bed she tried to tell herself that she was being silly. It was Jeff after all, he wouldn't cheat on her. He constantly told her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her.

Picking up her phone she sent a quick 'ok' back and then tried to go to sleep. All the while, her mind going round in circles thinking about how he had cheated on Lucy, to how much he said he loved her.

Eventually she fell asleep, and only woke up again when she felt the duvet begin to move and a body get into bed beside her.

'Night Princess' Jeff whispered, not realising that she was awake.

Dixie opened one eye carefully and looked at the clock on her bedside cabinet. 01:00.

Closing her eye again, all them feelings of suspicion and fear returned from earlier in the evening and a tear began to slide down her cheek.

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Early the next morning Dixie awoke needing the loo. Quietly climbing out of bed she saw that her clock said five am. Hearing Jeff breathing deeply she new that he was fast asleep. Walking across the room quietly she was about to head out the door and down the landing when she spotted Jeff's phone on his bedside cabinet. Looking at it for a couple of seconds she made a decision.

Gently walking over to it she picked it up and headed out of the bedroom. After going to the loo she quietly walked downstairs and went to sit down at the kitchen table putting the phone down in front of her.

Dixie just stared at it for a while. She knew that by going through it she would be betraying Jeff. Sure he wouldn't care normally if she opened a message for him or answered a call, but that fact that she was doing it secretly, searching for evidence of an affair made it different.

Going through his inbox she found the last message she sent before scrolling through and seeing all the names she would expect. There were however quite a few messages from an unsaved contact. Opening up the first one her stomach began to turn as she saw that it was received yesterday afternoon.

'Hi, just checking we're still on for tonight?'

Dixie went down and read the next 'ok, yeah see you this evening at 10 in The Bull'.

Not quite believing what she was reading Dixie read all of them - each matching up to the time and dates Jeff had said he would be late.

Switching to his sent folder Dixie began to feel sick as she read the messages to this contact.

'Yeah defo, I'll tell Dixie I'm having to cover for a while'

'You're amazing'

'Last night was great thanks. See you soon'

Tears began to fall as she took in what she was reading. Was he playing her? Had he got fed up of waiting for her? She thought he was happy!

Going back upstairs she put the phone back on his nightstand but couldn't face getting back into bed with him.

She was going to head back into her own room but knew that he might hear her cry.

Walking back downstairs she just went and sat on the sofa, crying her heart out as she thought about what he was doing.

After a few hours she heard Jeff begin to move about upstairs. She had finished crying long ago but her heart still ached as she thought about losing the one person who meant most to her in the whole world.

'Morning Princess' she heard from behind her, turning to see Jeff walk into the lounge.

'Morning' she said getting up and walking back upstairs to get showered and dressed.

Jeff noticed that she seemed curt but figured she was just tired and hadn't realised how it had come across. Walking into the kitchen he went to make them both breakfast. Thinking about the night before a large grin began to form on his face. He'd had a great evening and was pleased with the recent turn of events.

Twenty minutes later Dixie came back downstairs and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

'I've made breakfast' he said, putting her Full English on the table.

'I'm not hungry' she replied.

'Well I've made it now' he said walking up to her and attempting to give her a morning kiss.

'Fine' she replied, slipping out of his way and sitting down at the table.

'Is something up?' He asked picking up his plate and joining her.

'No'.

'Then why are you giving me the cold shoulder?' He continued, just as his phone began to beep.

'I'm not' Dixie replied, watching him open the text, and a smile beginning to form.

'Whatever you say' Jeff responded, not wanting to get into an argument when she was in this mood.

When breakfast was over and Jeff had gone upstairs to get ready for work, Dixie leant across the table and picked up his phone. Going into his inbox she saw it was from the mystery person again.

'I can make tonight after all. You'll have to work your magic on Dixie again! See you in The Bull at 10:30 x'

Dixie's stomach flipped and she knew now what she was going to do.

She wasn't like Jeff. She couldn't hold her tongue if she thought her partner was having an affair. She had decided she would catch him in the act. That way he could make no excuses, tell no more lies.

Jeff got in the shower still thinking about Dixie. He was sure she didn't have a clue about what he had been secretly doing, he knew that if she did find out he would soon hear about it - most likely very loudly and angrily from her! There was something he couldn't quite shake though - the way she had behaved this morning, being snappy, pulling away so he couldn't kiss her - he couldn't quite work out what was wrong.

'It must just be her hormones' he though aloud, hoping that perhaps her periods were about to start up again.

When he was done he climbed and out and got dressed, before heading back downstairs.

'Right, I'm off' he said walking into the kitchen where Dixie was doing the washing up.

'Ok' she said not turning to look at him.

'Do I get a kiss?' He asked walking over to her.

Dixie turned but instead of kissing his lips, she pecked his cheek before continuing with what she was doing.

'A proper kiss?'

'I'm busy. See you tonight' she said and only turned to look at him when he started walking away.

Dixie was filled with self loathing, anger and sadness, all in equal parts.

'Maybe if I had slept with him he wouldn't be doing this' she told herself, knowing in her heart of hearts that whatever she did, a player would always play.

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That evening Dixie got in her car and headed off to The Bull to try and catch Jeff in the act. He had sent her his excuses earlier, saying he wouldn't be home until later than planned and so now, at eleven pm, here she was driving to the pub.

When she arrived she parked up in front of Jeff's car and got out. Walking up to the door she went into the pub and looked around. After taking in the busy bar she scanned the room to see Jeff sitting in the corner. What she saw next made her stop dead in her tracks.

'Mel' she whispered not quite believing what she was seeing.

As tears began to fall she turned and left, all thoughts of facing Jeff gone. Getting in her car she sped away, her heart breaking.

When she arrived home she walked into the kitchen and grabbed the wine from the rack.

Popping the cork she poured herself a large glass and sat down at the kitchen table thinking about everything she had seen.

'He told me he had finished it. That he had chose me' she whispered to herself, knocking back the wine like it was water, tears running down her face.

'How could I have been so stupid. Why would he want me. A lesbian that has no clue what she is doing let alone being able to do it. I can't even show him my whole body. How did I ever possibly believe that he could want me'.

Dixie's self loathing continued as she drank her way through the bottle and opened another. By the time she was onto her the third however she had formulated a plan.

'If I really want to keep him, I've got to sleep with him' she decided, now rather drunk.

When Jeff arrived in the early hours of the morning Dixie went out into the hallway to meet him.

'Dix what are you doing up?' He asked, closing the front door and leaning in for a kiss.

'Waiting for you' she said, before giving him a rather passionate one.

'Wow, that was lovely' he said, realising that she was drunk. 'Why don't you go to bed and I'll sort out Little Abs then follow you up'.

'No, I've done him, now come with me' she said taking his hand and dragging him up the stairs.

Jeff was beginning to get worried. He couldn't understand why she had got drunk alone on a Monday night. It wasn't like her at all, even before the attack.

Being pulled into his bedroom, he was shocked when Dixie turned on him for another passionate kiss.

'Hey Dix, how about we get you to bed' he said, trying to guide her across the room.

'No, I want to sleep with you' she said forcefully.

'What?' Jeff asked confused,

'I said I want to sleep with you' she replied, taking off her top and beginning to undo her bra.

'Not tonight eh' he said walking over to her side of the bed and fetching her pyjamas. 'Here put this on' he continued, trying to pass her her top.

'No, we haven't slept together yet. Well I'm ready now'. She said, pulling down her jeans and taking them off, so that she was just standing there in her knickers.

'Well that's great Princess, but I'm rather tired, so maybe tomorrow night'. Jeff knew that Dixie would be mortified tomorrow and he wanted to stop her now before she made it even worse. Picking up her pyjama top he tried to put it on her but to no avail.

'I said I'm ready tonight. Come on I can get you ready too' she continued thrusting her hand down the front of his trousers.

'Dixie I said no' Jeff said firmly, pulling her hand out of his trousers and wondering what had happened to make her do this.

'Well I say yes' and with that she pulled off her knickers and stood there naked in front of him.

Jeff tried not to look, he knew Dixie was vulnerable and wanted to protect her from herself.

'Dixie please get dressed'. Once again he tried to dress her but she just snatched the top off of him and threw it aside.

'Come on Jeff, I know you want to' Dixie started trying to undo his trousers but found that she was soon stopped by Jeff's hands.

'Dix, I don't know what's happened tonight but I'm not going to sleep with you'.

'Why not. You slept with Mel' she said, beginning to get angry.

'Mel was different'. Jeff remained calm. This felt like she was having another breakdown, but instead of crying and needing a hug she was trying to use drink to force herself back to normality, to force herself to have sex.

'Because Mel was pretty and knew what to do and hadn't been broken?' She spat at him.

'No. Because Mel was comfortable with sleeping with me'

'I'm comfortable sleeping with you' she said, once again lunging forward and trying to kiss him.

Jeff grabbed hold of her shoulders and pushed her back. He hated having to touch her so forcefully after everything she had been through but he knew it was for her own protection. 'Well then we can discuss it tomorrow, and if you still feel comfortable then, then we'll try it'.

'Why not tonight' she asked angrily, shaking his hands off her shoulders.

'Because you're drunk'.

'So. I'm not stumbling, I'm not slurring my words'.

'Maybe not, but you are still drunk. If I slept with you tonight it would make me as bad as them'. His heart broke as he looked at her. What had happened to her this evening to make her do this.

'No it wouldn't. I'm giving my consent. I want you to'.

'Maybe you are giving your consent but your drunk and your vulnerable'.

'Ah so you're trying to be the great protector. Stopping me coming to any harm. Well I never asked you to be you know. I never asked you to look after me, after the attack. I never asked you to try and fix me. I can look after myself'.

'Maybe you didn't, but I vowed to do that when we got married. So I shall'.

Dixie realised that he was never going to agree so turning around she walked out the room and into her bedroom, deciding to sleep there for the night instead.

'Oh Dix, what happened' Jeff said into the silence.


	15. Chapter 15

**Note: thank you MrsJeffreyCollier and m-is-for-Molly-and-Mansfield for your really kind reviews! Thank you also to those who read and enjoy :)**

The next morning Dixie woke up and instantly remembered everything that had happened the night before.

'Why did I do that?' She muttered quietly to herself.

'Why didn't I just tell him that I knew'. She still felt devastated about his affair, but now she also felt foolish, cheap. However angry she was with Jeff at the moment though, she was grateful for him refusing to sleep with her, but then it was Jeff. She should have known he would never take advantage of her like that.

Getting out of bed she looked at the time. 10am. For a couple of seconds she felt relieved, she thought Jeff would be in work. Then hearing footsteps on the landing it hit her, today was his day off.

'Oh great' she muttered realising that she was going to have to face him.

Waiting for Jeff to go downstairs, she quietly left her bedroom and went for a shower before returning to her room and getting ready for the day.

Walking downstairs thirty minutes later she could hear the TV on and figured Jeff must be in the lounge.

Walking into the kitchen, she started marking herself a cup of tea when Jeff came in.

'I thought I heard you come down. How are you feeling today?' He asked, his voice full of concern.

'I'm fine' she said, not really wanting to talk just yet.

'What was last night about?'

'You. Us'

'What about me?'

'Having an affair'

'You're worried I'm going to have an affair? Why?' He asked, he had never expected that for one second.

'I'm not worried that you're having an affair. I know that you are!' Dixie said, her temper increasing.

'What are you going on about?' Jeff asked confused.

'Don't try and pretend I caught you red handed!' Dixie spat, her voice rising.

'I don't know what you're talking about!' Jeff exclaimed.

'Well if you won't even admit it then what's the point' Dixie shouted, walking past him and out of the house.

Jeff had wanted to grab her as she walked past, he wanted to stop her and understand what she was saying but he knew he couldn't touch her. He couldn't grab her. Anyone else and he would have stopped them, he wouldn't have thought twice about it, but Dixie was different. Whatever she said, whatever she did, wherever she went, he knew she had to be in control, he couldn't face scaring her again like the last time he tried to stop her. The loss of ability to stop her attackers hit her hard, and now whether sexually or not, she had to be in control of all physical contact. She might not have to lead it, but she had to be in control of it, and grabbing her would take that control away.

Jeff decided to follow her out of the house. Seeing her down the road he ran after her.

'Dixie, wait. Let's just talk about this. Just tell me what you think I did. I really don't have a clue'. He was not going to lose her over some misunderstanding!

'Go away Jeff' Dixie said, beginning to walk faster.

'No. Not until you talk to me. Our relationship is too important to throw away over some silly misunderstanding.

'There has been no misunderstanding. I saw the texts. I saw you with her'.

'With who?'

'With Mel'. Dixie shouted back at him before quickly looking each way and crossing the road.

Jeff stopped at the edge of the path. 'Mel' he said to himself quietly. 'Oh no, she doesn't think...'.

Waiting for a car on his left to pass he began to shout to Dixie who had walked off ahead.

'Dix you've got it wrong, we aren't having an affair. She's helping me'. Once the car had passed Jeff stepped out into the road. 'I was arranging -'

BANG!

Dixie heard a loud thud and types squealing. Turning around she saw Jeff hurtling through the air before landing on the other side of the road. He obviously hadn't seen the car coming from the other direction.

'JEFF' she screamed running back to where he was lying on the road.

'JEFF' she screamed again as she got down on her knees, taking in his lifeless body.

'CALL AN AMBULANCE' she shouted at the car driver before checking Jeff over.

'Oh no Jeff. Don't do this, please don't do this to me' she begged when she realised he wasn't breathing and he had no pulse.

Gently turning him onto his back she began CPR.

'Come on Jeff. Please don't do this to me. I'm sorry. I should have listened. Please'. She repeated this mantra again and again, tears cascading down her cheeks and her heart feeling like it was being torn apart by the pain.

A crowd soon began to gather, all watching whilst Dixie poured all her love into saving her husband.

So focused on what she was doing, she didn't hear the ambulance arrive ten minutes later or Big Mac and Iain come over.

'Dixie. Let me take over' Big Mac said gently as Iain began to prepare Jeff to be shocked.

Dixie sat back and watched as they worked on her husband. Right now she didn't care if he'd had an affair or not. She didn't care if he never wanted to see her again as long as he survived.

'We've got a pulse' she heard Big Mac say and looked up to see him smiling at her, his face awash with relief.

'I'll get the spinal board and trolley' Iain said, rushing back to the ambulance.

Dixie just sat there, holding Jeff's hand. Ignorant to the rest of what was happening.

'Why did I run off. Why didn't I hear him out. Then he'd be in the kitchen, not here fighting for his life' Dixie said to herself, her cheeks soaked with tears.

Once they'd prepared Jeff for the journey Dixie got into the back of the ambulance and took hold of his hand once again.

'Come on handsome, you can do this' she said to his unconscious body, kissing him gently before strapping herself in and feeling the ambulance start up.

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Arriving at hospital, where a team of doctors and nurses were waiting for him, Jeff was quickly transferred to resus.

Dixie followed closely behind, standing back so the team could attend to him.

'Please help him' Dixie wept as Zoe began to check him over.

'Come on Dixie, how about we take you to the staff room' Big Mac said putting his arm around her.

'No I want to stay with him' she said refusing to move.

'We can get you as soon as they've finished' Robyn said gently, knowing that Dixie needed to be treated like any other relative.

'No, I'm staying'.

'Dixie, sweetheart, come on, I'll come with you' Tess said, taking her arm gently and leading her away.

'Why?' Dixie kept repeating to herself as they walked to the staff room.

'Why what?' Tess asked as they sat down.

'Why did I walk away'

'Walk away from what. Tell me what happened Dix' Tess said passing her a tissue to wipe her eyes.

'We fought. No I fought. He did nothing wrong. Well I thought he had but now I'm not so sure'. Dixie said, looking at Tess.

'What did you fight about? It must have been something big to end up like this'.

'I thought he was having an affair'.

'Why? This is Jeff we're talking about. He loves you'.

'I know. But he kept coming home late so I checked his phone and he had been meeting up with someone, so I went to catch him in the act and I saw him with Mel. I thought he had got fed up with me because I wasn't ready to sleep with him yet'.

'Oh Dix, he was arranging your birthday party. He felt confident that the trial would be a success and the men that attacked you would be sent down for a long time. He wanted to have a joint celebration - something really special' Tess said gently taking her hand.

'What?' Dixie gasped. The relief she felt from knowing he wasn't cheating being overshadowed by the pain of her guilt. If only she had trusted him.

'Mel's best mate is a party planner but because of Jeff's difficult hours and the fact that she has kids it was hard for them to meet up so he arranged to meet with Mel instead. Use her as the go between'.

'I've been so stupid. He could die thinking I hate him' Dixie began to weep.

'Of course he won't. He knows you love him. After all why else would you have got so mad if you didn't care'.

'But Tess I was so rude to him. I told him I hadn't asked him to fix me, to look after me since the attack. I was so horrible'.

'Everyone says things they don't mean in the heat of the moment, he knows that'.

'But what if they were some of the last things I said to him. The last things he heard'.

'And what if the last thing he heard was you crying with your love for him. You fighting for his life, whilst waiting for the ambulance to arrive. I know you performed CPR at the scene, Iain said on arrival. What if the last thing he heard was you willing him to survive. And what if he's fine and you get to tell him how much you love him. They're all what ifs'

'He was unconscious. He couldn't have heard me telling him how sorry I was'.

'People do. You know that. Just because someone's unconscious doesn't man that they can't hear. It doesn't mean that some of it doesn't get through'.

'I don't know what I'd do without him' Dixie cried, turning to Tess for support.

Tess wrapped her arms around her and rubbed her back. 'Well he's not gone yet. He's a fighter just like you'.

'Do you think we should call his kids? They haven't spoken to him since we got married'.

'Maybe now isn't the right time. Let's wait until he's a bit more stable first. They're kids after all. They're not going to want to see him like this, and he wouldn't want them to either' Tess said.

'Ok. Tess, please will you go and see how he is'.

'They'll come when they have news'

'Please. Just go and see what suspected injuries he has. I want to be prepared'

'I'm not sure that'll help' Tess said gently.

'Please Tess' Dixie begged.

'Ok' Tess finally agreed and left the room to check.

5 minutes later she returned.

'His breathing and heart rate are fine. They can't find any issues with his spine but are sending him off for an X-ray just in case and he is also going to have a CT scan to make sure he hasn't sustained a head injury. His right ankle is broken but for the minute that is the only definite injury although he is still unconscious'.

Dixie was relieved. A broken ankle she could deal with. All she needed now was for the scans to come back clear and him to wake up.

'Thank you' Dixie said, starting to feel some hope that he would pull through ok.

'We have just had another major casualty come in, so I am needed, but you just wait here and Zoe will be through when there's news'. Tess said, patting Dixie's hand, and walking out.

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An hour later and Zoe arrived to find Dixie wiping the tears from her eyes.

'I have good news' Zoe said as she sat down next to her.

'What?' Dixie asked, listening intently.

'The X-ray and scans have come back all clear. As I'm sure Tess told you, he has a broken ankle but other than that and a few cuts and bruises, he should be fine. He is still unconscious though for now'.

Dixie let out a deep breath and gave Zoe a massive hug. 'Thank you so much!'

'Hey don't thank me, you did all the hard work at the scene' Zoe replied, rubbing her back. 'He is going to go to theatre soon to get his ankle fixed, but do you want to come and see him quickly before he goes?'

'Yes please ' Dixie said, standing up and following Zoe back to resus.

Walking up to Jeff, Dixie took his hand and looked down at his face.

'Hey handsome' she said softly. Tears starting to fall again. 'I'm so sorry, I never meant any of this to happen. Tess has told me about the party you were arranging for me' at this point she broke down, feeling so guilty about everything she had said to him, especially after what he had been doing for her.

'I love you so much. Please wake up soon, I have so much I need to tell you. I wish today had never happened, I wish last night had never happened. Please Jeff, do as I say, just this once and wake up'. Dixie leant forward and kissed his lips gently, stroking the top of his head with her free hand.

'Sorry Dixie, they have to take him up now' Zoe said.

'I'll be waiting for you, I'm not going anywhere' Dixie said and gave him one final kiss before they wheeled him away.

'When they're finished with him, he'll be moved to ITU because of his lack of consciousness' Zoe said, rubbing Dixie's arm.

'Ok, I'll make my way up there now then. I want to be there when he arrives'.

'Ok, if you need me, just come and find me eh?'

'I will thanks' Dixie said, wiping her eyes once more.

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Dixie had been waiting in the ITU relatives room for two hours when a nurse came to get her.

'Mr Collier is out of theatre and has just arrived with us. I am told it was a success although he is still unconscious from the anaesthetic. If you'd like to come with me I'll take you to him'.

Dixie followed the nurse up to Jeff's bed, and unless she'd known otherwise, she would have just assumed he was sleeping peacefully.

Taking his hand once more she began to talk to him, telling him everything she wanted to say when he woke up. Soon she lost track of time and it was only when darkness came that she was asked to leave. Promising to return first thing, Dixie left, feeling like she was leaving part of her heart behind.

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Arriving home she walked in the door and was greeted by Little Abs.

'Hello fella' she said, putting him out in the back garden whilst she replenished his dog bowls.

She had had a long day, and after Little Abs had been fed she curled up on the sofa with him next to her, trying to watch telly to take her mind off of everything.

'What have I done' she said, talking to the dog and petting his head.

She was scared that Jeff would wake up without her. Scared that he would worry about her being home alone. He had only just started night shifts again and still kept checking his phone to make sure that there wasn't a problem whilst he was away.

Her tears began to fall again as her mind replayed the day. Replayed their argument that morning. Her argument. He hadn't even got angry.

'Why is it that the only one who can wipe away my tears is the one who's making me cry?' She asked Little Abs, leaning down and kissing his head.

That night she barely slept. She could smell Jeff's aftershave on the pillow next to her and wished that she could lean her head on his chest and have his strong arms wrapped around her. She wished with all her might that he was there, safe and sound.

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When Dixie returned to the hospital the next morning there had been no change in Jeff's condition although his anaesthetic had worn off and he was now in a natural state of unconsciousness.

'What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours eh?' Dixie asked softly, her voice filled with love.

'Just wake up handsome. I want you to hold me in your arms, I want to kiss you and love you. I want to tell you how sorry I am and how much I love you'.

Throughout the day Jeff received visits from all of his friends. Each one asking how they both were and telling her not to worry, he'd come back to her.

When Zoe arrived that evening Dixie had so many questions to ask.

'Hi Dixie, how is he?' She asked, walking into the room.

'Still unconscious. Shouldn't he have woken up by now?'

'Bodies are complicated things. Maybe he just needs the rest. He has been through a lot recently and his body needs time to heal. I have spoken to one of the doctors up here and they reckon it shouldn't be too much longer, but you can never really tell. He is doing well and has no brain injury, so it's just in his own time'.

'I won't rest properly until he wakes up' Dixie said, looking down at him with a worried face.

'I know' Zoe said, 'but you just have to be patient'.

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Jeff lay there, occasionally gaining a tiny window of consciousness every few hours.

He knew he was in hospital. Sometimes he could hear doctors and nurses discussing his notes, but it wouldn't last long and he'd slip away again, back into the nothingness that was just like sleep, within a few short moments.

He didn't know how long he'd been there, but it didn't seem long.

He could feel someone holding his hand, but he was too tired to move. He was so extraordinarily tired. All he could do was listen.

'I've got to go now. I will be back first thing. I love you'.

It was Dixie. His beautiful Dixie, she was here, but she sounded upset.

He used all his energy and managed to squeeze her hand. It was the smallest movement imaginable but he wanted to let her know he was ok. He knew she would be worrying.

'Jeff?!' He heard her say with a sense of shock before he slipped back into the abyss.

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'Nurse!' Dixie called. 'Jeff do it again, squeeze my hand again. Nurse!'

'What's wrong?' A nurse asked, coming over.

'He just squeezed my hand' Dixie replied, a broad grin lighting up her face.

The nurse checked him over but couldn't detect any more signs of him gaining consciousness.

'I know how it must have felt, but there don't appear to be any more signs that he is waking up. Perhaps it was just a muscle twitch', she said kindly.

'No, I know what I felt! I told him I loved him and he squeezed my hand' Dixie replied excitedly.

'Ok, well has he done it again since?'

'No. Jeff squeeze my hand' Dixie said again, but this time got no response.

'He's not doing it now, but he definitely did'.

'Ok well we'll keep monitoring him over night. Like I said it might just be a twitch, but you never know, he could be experiencing small moments of consciousness that we don't know about'.

Dixie really didn't want to leave him, not after what just happened, but knew she couldn't stay.


	16. Chapter 16

**Note: thank you MrsJeffreyCollier - I'm glad it had such an impact on you, and that you are still enjoying it!**

Over night Jeff had began to get stronger. He was still mostly unconscious however he was waking up more and staying awake for longer. He still felt exhausted and could barely move but he had managed to briefly open his eyes to see a nurse checking him over, as well as squeezing a doctors hand when asked.

When Dixie arrived the next morning at Jeff's bedside she was greeted by a nurse.

'Mrs Collier, we have good news' the nurse said, waiting for Dixie to turn to face her.

'Over night your husband has shown signs that he is regaining consciousness'.

'Fantastic' Dixie said, a large grin forming.

'Now we don't want you to get too excited. These signs have only been tiny, but they are definitely an improvement'.

'What signs were they exactly?' She asked, wanting to be able to look out for them.

'On one occasion he squeezed the doctors hand when asked, on another he briefly opened his eyes as one of my colleagues was checking him over. Now these small things will tire him out quickly so please don't expect him to display them often, however please keep talking to him as it is likely that he can hear a lot more than we realise'.

'Thank you' Dixie said sincerely. She didn't care how small the signs were as long as they kept coming.

Taking his hand, she sat down next to the bed, watching him intently as she was about to say hello.

She had so much she wanted to say to him, so much she needed to say. But she decided now wasn't the right time. The nurse had said that he'd tire easily and she didn't want to upset him or worry him. This was a conversation that needed to be saved until he was feeling better so she decided to stick with the positives.

'Morning handsome. I hear you've been getting stronger over night - that's great news!' Dixie said, unsure as to whether he could hear her or not.

'I took Little Abs for a walk this morning and you'll never guess what! He only ran off with another dogs ball! I was so embarrassed! His owner was really kind though, apparently it's not the first time that that has happened'.

Dixie just looked down at Jeff. 'You'd be really proud of me you know' she started. She had been going to tell him how she had been fine the last couple of nights by herself. No breakdowns, no worries other than for him. But she decided against it. She didn't want Jeff to realise she was home alone. She knew how worried he could get, so if he heard her but couldn't do anything she didn't want to think about the upset that could cause him.

Just as she was trying to think of what to say instead, Jeff opened his eyes.

'Jeff!' She said, standing up with a smile on her face. 'I love you so much. I'm so sorry' she knew she had wanted to stay positive, but looking into his eyes, knowing that he could definitely hear her, she couldn't help but say it. She couldn't help the tears that began to fall with the relief that she could see him, as well as her longing to make everything ok between them.

'Please forgive me'. She wanted to kiss him but the sudden thought that he might not forgive her stopped her. She suddenly realised that he could be angry with her for not trusting him, for walking out when he was trying to understand, for leading him to this.

'I'm so sorry' she cried.

Jeff was tiring fast, opening his eyes for so long had taken so much energy from him, but seeing Dixie like this broke his heart. She had nothing to forgive. He could remember everything up until being hit by the car and he knew that Dixie was delicate. That she was only angry because she loved him. He wanted nothing more than to be able to hold her and take her pain away! He didn't want to close his eyes, feeling like it would be deserting her when she needed him, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep them open.

Dixie just looked at him, tears streaming down her face, when she saw that his mouth was beginning to open and starting to move. Getting in close so that she could hear what he wanted to say, she had her ear right up to his mouth when he spoke.

'Don't..cry..Princess' he whispered in the smallest voice imaginable but the loudest he could manage.

Dixie just looked into his eyes, he was looking after her, even now after he'd been through all this, he was still trying to protect her, still trying to make her feel better.

'I love you so much' she said, as she kissed his lips softly, never breaking eye contact. Pulling back she saw the faintest trace of a smile before he closed his eyes again, slipping back into the darkness.

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Throughout the day Jeff woke often, but he didn't always have the energy to show it. He found that the less energy he expended on movement, the longer he could stay conscious. He enjoyed knowing that Dixie was there, feeling her hand in his, the occasional stroking of his head. He could tell how much she truly loved him and he knew she felt guilty over what had happened.

He enjoyed just laying their listening. He didn't care what she said, most of it was nonsense such as reading the newspaper to him or telling him about the football, but he enjoyed being able to hear her voice, have her company. He felt better knowing that she was around.

As the hours went by he could feel his strength build. By evening he felt ready to open his eyes again. This time however it felt much easier. Giving her hand a gentle squeeze he felt Dixie stand up.

'Hello again' Dixie said, stroking his hand with her thumb and leaning in to give him a gentle kiss. 'I've missed you'.

'I've been listening' he whispered, a lot more audible than earlier.

Dixie smiled at him, glad to see that he was improving. Gently stroking the top of his head, she looked deep into his eyes, eyes that were filled with love. Taking her hand out of his, she leant down over him, her hands gently wrapping round his shoulders, and her head softly resting in the crook of his neck.

Dixie felt Jeff slowly turn his head towards her before planting a small soft kiss on her cheek.

'Love you' he whispered.

'I love you too' she replied, moving her left arm so that it was resting on the pillow, allowing her to stroke the top of his head.

Jeff closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of being hugged by his wife. The last time he had felt this much love for anyone was when his children were born.

'This is nice' he whispered after a while, wishing that he could wrap his arms around her.

'It is, I have missed hugging you' Dixie replied, not realising how much she did it until she had been unable to.

'Sorry to interrupt but it is time Mr Collier got his rest now' a nurse said to Dixie coming up behind her.

'I have to go' she said, kissing his neck gently as she pulled back.

Jeff opened his eyes to look at her one final time.

'Kiss you' he said, not wanting her to leave without a proper goodbye.

The nurse walked away to give them some privacy as Dixie leant back in, taking his hand in one hand and stroking his cheek with the other.

Softly, their lips met and they kissed gently for a few moments before Dixie pulled away, lowering her head into the crook of his neck for one last time. Slowly Jeff turned, giving her one final kiss.

'Night Princess' he whispered, stroking her hand gently with his thumb.

'Night Jeff' she replied, kissing his neck before standing up and walking away.

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Over night Jeff rested well and in the morning the nursing staff decided to sit him up as he was now fully conscious. Nevertheless, he found that he was still very tired and often drifted off to sleep when he was alone.

When Dixie arrived at ten o'clock she was met by one of the nurses. 'Morning. He's fully conscious today and has been awake for all our tests and obs. However he is still very tired and needs his sleep'.

'Excellent' Dixie replied, going over to him and taking his hand, watching as his eyes fluttered open.

'Morning Princess' he said quietly. 'You caught me having a quick doze'.

'Ha, nothing new there then' she laughed, sitting down on the edge of his bed and leaning in for a kiss.

Jeff lifted his right arm and rested his hand on her lap, giving her leg a gentle stroke.

Pulling away from the kiss she rested her head on his shoulder, leaning into his neck, and wrapping her arms around him.

Jeff lifted his left hand and rubbed her back gently before lowering it again. He didn't have the strength to hold her properly but he wanted to be able to touch her, love her.

'I like being able to feel you against my chest' he said, nuzzling his head against hers.

'There's nowhere I'd rather be' she replied beginning to stroke his cheek.

'I'm sorry about the other day' she started, wanting to put things right.

'Not now eh. We can discuss it another time' he said. His energy was limited and he wanted to save it for loving her, not discussing a silly fight.

'Ok, but I just want you to know I'm sorry' she said.

'I know Dix, I know'. He replied gently, taking her hand in his. 'Now be quiet and just let me enjoy you'.

Dixie smiled and did as she was told.

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As the day progressed Jeff kept switching between sleeping and spending time with Dixie, touching her, chatting with her and most importantly of all, showing her how much he loved her.

By mid afternoon he was a totally different man to when he arrived in ITU a couple of days before, so it was no surprise when a nurse came over and informed them that he would be moving wards.

'If he keeps up with this level of progress he'll be out within a few days' she continued.

'That's great news' Dixie said smiling at Jeff.

'Yeah except I've got to have this rotten cast on my ankle' he complained.

'Be grateful, it could have been a lot worse!' The nurse said.

Within half an hour Jeff had been moved, but the journey had taken it out of him and he needed another sleep.

'I heard he'd been moved' Tess said as she came up behind Dixie who was sitting at his new bedside.

Dixie turned towards her. 'Yeah they were pleased with his progress, he still needs his rest but he is much better' she smiled. 'The only problem is that the visiting hours here are much stricter now that it's not life and death'.

'I'm glad, he gave us all a fright. I told you he was a fighter though! Soon he will be home and you can spend as much time together as you want'.

'Thank you' Dixie said, glad to have a friend like her.

'Have you managed to clear the air between you yet?' Tess asked, remembering how upset Dixie was when they first came in.

'Yes and no. We are fine, he has been lovely but we haven't really discussed it. I think he wants to wait until he's a bit stronger'.

'That's understandable, he's been through a lot. He needs his rest'.

'Yeah but I just wish I had trusted him, that I hadn't jumped to the wrong conclusions. I wish I had just told him I'd seen them together'.

'I know but you can't change the past'.

'Sadly not. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost him though. The image of him hurtling through the air still pains me'.

'Well you don't have to worry about that now. He's here and safe' Tess said patting her arm.

'I don't think I'll relax properly until he's home in our bed'.

''Our bed', I like the sound of that' Jeff said, waking up to hear the end of the conversation.

'Hmm?' Dixie questioned as he opened his eyes.

'It's only ever been 'my bed' or 'your bed' before, never 'our bed'. I like the sound of it - our bed in our room'

Dixie smiled, she liked the sound of it too. 'Does that mean I can start moving all my stuff in?'

Jeff looked aghast 'All of it?'

Tess gave a small laugh. 'Right I'll leave you two to fight it out'.

'Thanks for coming' Dixie said, with an echoed 'thanks' from Jeff.

'It was a pleasure' she smiled before walking away.

'How much is all of it?' Jeff asked looking back at Dixie once Tess had gone.

'Clothes, draws, toiletries, you know, all of it'.

'I'm not sure my rooms big enough for all your stuff' Jeff mocked.

'Well it's bigger than mine. I really don't know why I gave you that room in the first place'.

'Because it needed decorating remember'.

'Oh yeah. Well don't worry, I'll get help moving my wardrobe, you won't have to share'.

'Just as long as I don't. All your stuff. You'll give me a heart attack'

'Hahaha' Dixie fake laughed, feeling excited that it was becoming their room.


	17. Chapter 17

**Note: thanks again for reading and to all those who reviewed! Also I read a brief comment on twitter from someone that they were sad Matt Bardock was leaving casualty - does anyone know if this is true (and if he will be returning) because I can't find any info anywhere?! It wouldn't be the same without the Jeff and Dixie double act!**

After a further week in hospital to rebuild his strength and get him walking again, it was finally time for Jeff to come home. Dixie had asked Big Mac and Noel to help move her stuff and now everything was set up for Jeff's return.

As Dixie pulled into the driveway with Jeff by her side, she was glad that their ordeal was finally over. Helping him out of the car and into the house, she had to pull an overly exited Little Abs away until Jeff sat down on the sofa.

'Someone's missed you' she said finally letting the dog go who bounded straight over to Jeff.

'I've missed him too' Jeff said, putting his crutches to one side and giving him a stroke.

'He's not the only one who's missed your gentle touch' Dixie said coming to sit next to him.

Jeff stretched out his arms and Dixie snuggled in close. Resting her head on his chest she could feel his heart beat. Gently lifting his T-shirt, Dixie put her hand underneath and laid it on his heart.

'My precious husband. To think I nearly lost you' She said quietly.

'But you didn't. You saved me' he said whilst beginning to stroke her hair.

'No I caused all this. If only I had trusted you. I was stupid, I thought 'if he did it to Lucy he could do it to me'. I thought that because I wasn't sleeping with you, you were getting it from somewhere else '.

'Is that why you got drunk and told me to sleep with you?' He asked, tilting her head to look him in the eye.

'I thought that if I showed I was willing to sleep with you then you wouldn't cheat, that you'd stop cheating. I'm so sorry for doing that to you. I feel such a fool'.

'Don't be. You were upset, I could see that. I just didn't realise why'.

'I feel so ashamed of myself, stripping off in front of you like that. Trying to grope you'.

'Dix you're my wife. Don't be ashamed of undressing in front of me, you're beautiful. And as for the groping, on any other occasion I would have rather enjoyed it' he said with a twinkle in his eye.

'Shut up' she laughed swatting his chest.

'There we go, that's the Dixie I know and love' he replied smiling down at her.

After a couple of minutes Dixie began to talk again.

'I'm sorry for what I said about not asking you to look after me or fix me. You have been so kind to me, it was cruel. I didn't mean it'.

'I know you didn't, you were upset. You don't have to keep saying sorry you know, there is nothing to forgive. I wasn't angry, I just wanted to help you'.

'Of course there is something to forgive. If I had just listened to you instead of walking out then you would never have got hit. When I heard the thud, when I saw you flying across the road, when I saw you lying there...' Dixie paused, tears beginning to form in her eyes 'when I saw you lying there, not breathing, no pulse, I thought I'd lost you. I thought you were going to die thinking I hated you'.

'But you saved me Dix, YOU, my beautiful wife, not some stranger I had never met. You kept me going until the ambulance arrived. You became my heart and my lungs, you became my protector. You don't realise what an honour that is for me, to have such an amazing wife as you. I could have been hit whilst walking Little Abs, or worse - it could have been you! I don't want you to be sorry, because there is nothing to forgive, and if it makes you feel better then I forgive you for anything you think you may have done wrong. All I ask now is that instead of wanting my forgiveness, just accept my love. Let me love you like I want to'. Wiping away her tears, he gently kissed her lips, enjoying the privacy that their home allowed.

'Thank you' Dixie said as they pulled apart. 'For never giving up on me'

'I couldn't if I tried' he replied, pulling her in tight, glad to finally be back where he belonged.

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'I'm starving' Jeff said later that evening. 'Let's have a takeaway, I've had enough hospital food to last me a lifetime!'.

'Good idea, I'll get the menu' Dixie replied, getting off the sofa where they had spent most their afternoon.

Coming back Dixie handed Jeff a leaflet and the phone. 'What do you fancy?'.

'You actually want Indian?' Jeff asked, surprised that she hadn't chosen the Chinese instead.

'No, but I know you do' she said, not caring what they ate as long as they were together.

'Thanks mate!' He replied, knowing that she must be very sorry indeed to eat it without a fight. 'So I'm thinking, onion bhajis, lamb madras and a cheese naan'.

'Ok. I'll have a chicken korma'.

'Excellent' Jeff said and began to dial the number on the front of the menu.

After it was ordered, Dixie put the menu away but left Jeff with the phone.

'I was thinking' she said slowly. 'Why don't you give your kids a quick call, let them know what happened'.

'I dunno, we haven't spoke in ages'.

'All the more reason to. Tess said not to call them whilst you were so ill, but now that you are much better, surely they would want to know'. Dixie said coming to sit back next to him.

'Maybe when my ankles healed, when we can go out and do something properly together. I don't think they'd like coming here, not just yet'.

'What's wrong with here? I could go out, give you some alone time with them'.

'No it's not that' Jeff said, taking her hand. 'I just worry that they would feel uncomfortable coming into a strange home, they have only been here a couple of times before, and that was ages ago. They wouldn't be able to relax, at least if we are out then it's kind of like no mans land'.

'Don't you think it would upset them more though to know that you have been through all this and didn't tell them. Like they weren't important enough to know'.

'Yeah I suppose' Jeff said. He'd not thought about it like that.

'Give them the option. Tell them that you've broken your ankle so it would have to be a cafe or something if you went out, but that they are welcome here if they would prefer. You could get a wii or something, have an afternoon in eating pizza and playing games'.

'That does actually sound really nice' Jeff said, smiling at her, imaging the fun that they could have.

'Then give them a call'.

Jeff looked at her for a few moments before picking up the phone and dialing John's number.

After a few rings he heard his son pick up.

'Hi John, it's your dad' Jeff said feeling nervous. He was worried that the phone would be put down there and then, but miraculously it wasn't.

'Hi dad' came the tense reply. Jeff noticed how much deeper his voice sounded.

'I was just wondering if you and your sister wanted to meet up sometime. It's been a long time since I last saw you both and I thought that maybe we could have a catchup'.

Jeff waited nervously, listening to the silence on the other end.

'When?'

'Whenever you want. I've broken my ankle so I'm not working at the minute. We could either meet up at a cafe or something or you could both come here, get a pizza and either play the wii or watch some DVDs or whatever'.

'Will she be there?' John asked in a sceptical voice.

Jeff looked at Dixie. 'Not if you don't want her to be'. Dixie smiled kindly at him, showing that it was ok.

'Ok, Saturday then. I have football in the morning but I can get mum to drop us off about lunch time'.

'Perfect' Jeff replied, a large grin forming on his face.

'Oh and Dad'

'Yeah?'

'Since when have you had a wii?'

'Since tomorrow'

John laughed gently down the phone. 'You get the wii, I'll bring the games'.

'Deal!'

'Night Dad'

'Night son. Give my love to your sister'.

'Will do. Night' and with that he hung up.

'Thank you Dix, for making me do that'

'No problem. So what's happening then?'

'They're coming this Saturday. I said you'd be out, I'm sorry'. Jeff said, feeling bad about it.

'Don't be. They might be teenagers but their still just kids. They want some quality time alone with you, I get that'.

'I told him I was getting a wii. Do you think-'

'I'll pick it up tomorrow' Dixie said smiling at him, knowing what he had been about to ask.

'Thanks Princess. You really are the best wife ever' He said patting her leg.

'I know' she smiled back at him, getting up to warm the plates in the oven.

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Saturday lunchtime came and Jeff was feeling both excited and nervous. He was glad the kids were coming to his house and was looking forward to spending the afternoon with them but he really wasn't sure how they would react.

'Right, I'll see you later then' Dixie said, putting her jacket on whilst walking into the lounge.

'Thanks Dix. I'm sorry you're being kicked out of your own home into the pouring rain'. He felt bad that she wasn't welcome, but knew it was important to his kids.

'Don't worry about it. Just have fun. I am looking forward to having a proper catch up with Rita anyway, it seems like an age since we spoke! Just text me when it's safe to come home' She said walking up to him and giving him a quick kiss goodbye.

'I don't know how long they plan on staying'.

'Whenever is fine. Three o'clock, eight o'clock I don't mind'.

'Thanks a lot. I'll make it up to you'.

'Don't be silly. After all you've done for me it's the least I can do! I'll see you later'.

'Bye'

Jeff turned back to the TV, waiting for them to arrive. John had text him the night before saying they would be there at one o'clock, so with forty minutes to waste he decided to relax and try to forget about his nerves.

Half an hour later the doorbell rang. Getting up, Jeff got to the door as fast as he could using his crutches and opened it. Standing there was John and Sophia, both looking nervous and unsure what to do.

'Come in' Jeff said hobbling back, watching Lucy drive off. He couldn't believe how much they'd grown. How much he'd missed. Sophia walked in, followed by John, both just standing in the hallway not knowing what to do.

'Go through to the lounge' Jeff said, wanting to draw them both into a massive hug but not knowing how they'd feel. They hadn't seen him in a couple of years and he didn't want to push his luck. His heart ached for the familiarity that they'd lost.

Little Abs went up to the visitors, wagging his tail and looking for attention.

'Hello Little Abs, you've grown!' Sophia said, sitting down on the sofa before petting him gently, relieved to have something to do.

'Yeah he certainly has, you wouldn't believe how much food he eats!' Jeff said, trying to break the ice.

'Not as much as you surely?' John teased as he sat next to his sister.

'I don't eat much!'

'So why are you starting to get a belly then?' Sophia joined in.

'That's right, pick on your old man why don't you!' Jeff said, smiling at the two of them, glad they were starting to settle in.

'Anyway, talking about food there are some snacks in the kitchen, or if you're hungry we can order a pizza'.

'What snacks have you got?' Sophia asked.

'There's a bag of mixed fun size chocolate in the fridge or there are crisps in the cupboard. There's also a bottle of coke in the fridge'.

'I'm starving so can I have a bit of chocolate now whilst we order the pizza?'

'Sure Princess. Do you want me to find it or can you manage?'

'I'll be fine, you'll take too long' she said, looking at his broken ankle.

'Charming' he muttered, sitting down in the seat she had just vacated.

'So what happened Dad?' John asked.

'I got hit by a car'.

'What?!' Sophia said, just as she was about to leave the room.

'I'm alright now though. Other than the ankle that is'

'How did you get hit by a car?' Sophia asked.

'Go and get your chocolate and then I'll explain everything'.

Sophia quickly went and fetched herself a mars bar before coming back and squishing herself in between her brother and her dad.

'Hey this is only a two seater you realise!' John complained.

'Well where else am I supposed to sit?'

'Er the floor!'

'No, we've sat on it like this before'

'Yeah but you were smaller then!'

'What do you mean 'you were smaller then', you're not exactly tiny yourself!'

'Guys, if you deal with it today, I promise that I'll get an armchair or something as well for next time' Jeff said, not wanting an argument to ruin the day.

'We can come again?' Sophia asked.

'Of course you can, I want you to come round whenever you want' Jeff said, shocked that she thought that they couldn't.

'Really?' Sophia asked again.

'Why wouldn't you be able to?' Jeff questioned.

'We just thought that-'

'Sophia shut up' John interrupted.

'No, I want to hear this' Jeff said looking from John to Sophia. 'Go on Princess'.

'We just thought that since we weren't welcome at your wedding we wouldn't be welcome here either' Sophia said looking up at her dad, her eyes reflecting the child within.

'Sweetheart come here' Jeff said, pulling her into a tight hug. 'You're always welcome here. And it wasn't that you weren't welcome at the wedding, it was just complicated'.

'No it wasn't, she didn't want us there' John said angrily.

'No it's just that it wasn't a real wedding' Jeff said, not knowing how to phrase it.

'What do you mean it wasn't a real wedding?' Sophia asked.

'Dixie's a lesbian but her dad didn't know. He just assumed we were a couple because we lived together. Well to cut a long story short, he was dying and wanted to see her settled before he went, so she asked me to marry her. No one was invited, just her dad and a couple of friends of ours who acted as witnesses'.

'So why are you still married to her then?' John asked skeptically.

'Because her dad found out the truth and gave us his blessing anyway. And because we were both happy with the situation there was never any need to get divorced. She is my best mate and we love each other - we just weren't in love with each other'.

'So why are you only telling us this now?' John questioned.

'In hindsight I should have told you right from the start, but I was a fool and didn't realise the effect our marriage would have on you both. Then the longer I left it the harder it got'.

'So why did you call me then?'

'Because Dixie told me to. She wanted to call you as soon as I was taken to hospital after being hit by the car but I was seriously ill so the hospital told her not to worry you. She knows how important you guys are to me. I was secretly scared that you wouldn't want anything to do with me as we hadn't spoken in so long'.

'So she doesn't hate us?' Sophia questioned, still in her fathers arms.

'Of course she doesn't, she just wants us all to be happy' Jeff said, before continuing. 'There is something else you need to know though'.

'What?' Sophia asked.

'Well a short while ago she was attacked really badly and I have been helping her deal with everything since then. Well, as time went by we started developing feelings for each other and have now become a proper couple'.

'I thought you said she was a lesbian?' John asked.

'She is normally, but we have spent so much time together recently that things kind of developed from there'.

'Woah, too much information there dad!' John said sounding disgusted.

'No you tool! I meant emotionally!' Jeff laughed, pleased with how well they had taken it.

'So her getting attacked, does that have anything to do with you getting hit by a car? Was it the same people?' Sophia asked worriedly.

'No love. I just wasn't watching where I was going!' Jeff smiled down at her.

'So how serious was it?' Sophia asked, looking more relieved.

'Have you got any scars?' John asked hoping for something gruesome to tell his mates about.

'My heart stopped and I stopped breathing, but Dixie performed CPR until the ambulance arrived. I was unconscious for a little while but my only main injury is this ankle. And no John, I don't have any scars' Jeff said, smiling at his son, who reminded him of himself at that age.

'I'm just glad you're ok' Sophia said. She had missed her dad and was pleased that he was back in her life.

'Thanks sweetheart. Anyway, shall we order this pizza now, I thought you said you were starving?!' Jeff replied, feeling the happiest he had in a long while.

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They spent the afternoon watching a DVD and playing on the wii. The kids were glad to have their father back and although his ankle stopped him doing everything he would have liked they were still all able to have a lot of fun. Later the kids showed him some of their photos of what they had been up to on Facebook, as well as watching stupid videos on YouTube and trying to learn new skills such as tap dancing and playing the spoons from the tutorial videos.

By seven o'clock they were all rather worn out and slumped onto the sofa together watching a bit of TV and eating the snacks.

'When can we come next?' Sophia asked.

'Whenever you want, I'm not exactly busy with my leg in plaster!' Jeff replied, once again squashed up next to his daughter.

'Is next Saturday ok?' Sophia questioned. She had enjoyed her afternoon and couldn't wait to do it again.

'I can't see why not' Jeff said, hoping that Dixie wouldn't mind, whilst catching John looking at their wedding photo.

'You alright there son?' Jeff asked drawing John's attention away from the picture above the fire.

'Yeah I was just thinking about her'

'What about her?'

'Well if she really doesn't hate us then maybe she could stay next week. I mean, not all afternoon but for a while'.

'Of course she can, if you don't mind. I'm sure she'd love to meet you both!' Jeff said feeling proud of his son.

'You'll have to get another sofa though!' John continued, not wanting to spend another afternoon so squashed up to his sister.

'Well we'll have a look this week and hopefully get one ordered. I don't know if it'll be here by then though'.

'That's ok, as long as one is coming!' Sophia piped up.

'You two do nag!' Jeff complained.

'You love us really' Sophia laughed.

'Yes I do' he said smiling back at them both. 'Anyway, you're mum will be waiting to pick you up'.

'Yeah I'll give her a text now' John said getting his phone out.

A short while later John's phone beeped with a text to say that Lucy was outside, so they all made their way to the front door.

'Ok guys safe journey home, and be good for your mum'. Jeff said as they were just about to leave.

'We always are' Sophia smiled sweetly at him.

'Yeah right' he laughed, pulling her in for a hug and kissing her head. 'Night Princess'.

'Night Dad, see you next week' she replied, walking off to the car.

'Night Dad' John said, as Jeff began to hug him.

'Night son' Jeff replied, letting him go, and watching as he walked up to the car, getting in quickly before Lucy pulled away.

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'I'm back' Jeff heard Dixie call half an hour after he rang her to say that they had gone.

'How was your day?' He asked.

'Nice thanks. We had lunch, did a bit of clothes shopping, went to see a film and then had a few drinks in the pub, but anyway enough about me, how was your day?' Dixie asked coming to join him on the sofa.

'Really good. Amazing in fact!' He replied with a big grin on his face.

'I'm so pleased for you' Dixie said. She had been worried when she left that the kids wouldn't want to stay for long or that tensions would escalate, however as the afternoon wore on into evening she figured it must have gone well.

'They want to come again next Saturday, and John was wondering if you would like to join us for part of it' Jeff said, taking her hand.

'I'd love to' Dixie replied, knowing how important it was to Jeff that they all got on.

'Excellent! There's only one condition'.

'What's that?'

'We need to buy another sofa. This one simply isn't big enough for all of us'.

'I'm sure we can manage that'.

'Thanks for getting me to ring them Dix. I'm so glad I did. It turns out that they thought that they weren't welcome because they didn't come to our wedding'.

'What?! Ah Jeff, I'm so sorry about that!' Dixie said, realising it was all her own fault, after all it was her that kept badgering him to marry her.

'Hey don't worry about it, it's all sorting itself out now, and anyway if we didn't get married then we might never have become a couple'.

'That's true I suppose'.

Jeff just looked at her, so grateful for what she had done for him. 'Come here Mrs Collier' he said, pulling her in for a kiss.

As the kiss grew deeper Jeff began to explore Dixie's body with his hands. Reaching under her top, he relished having the skin to skin contact that he had missed the last couple of weeks.

Pulling back slightly, Dixie began to talk. 'How about we take this upstairs?'

'Good idea' Jeff said, removing his hands from her body and picking up his crutches.

Jeff headed up first, with Dixie following, making sure that he was ok.

When they arrived in their bedroom Jeff went over to the bed to collect his pyjama bottoms.

'What are you doing handsome?' Dixie asked.

'I thought I'd get changed first, they will be comfier than jeans' motioning to the clothing that he had just picked up from under his pillow.

Dixie walked up to him and threw the pyjamas behind her.

'I was thinking that we could try it the more traditional way' she said gently, with a touch of nerves.

'What's that then?' He asked looking confused.

'Naked'.

'Are you sure?' Jeff questioned, sounding somewhat surprised.

'Yes. I figure you've already seen me naked, whether I really wanted you to or not, and I feel comfortable seeing you like that. I'm not saying we can do anything more than usual, or that I'm ready for you to touch me anywhere else, just that I'm ready for the next step. After nearly losing you I want to be able to enjoy you, all of you. Not say that my husband nearly died but I still don't have a clue what half of him looks like'.

'Ok, but if you change your mind just let me know', he said, beginning to stand up.

Dixie didn't reply, instead she just put her hands at the bottom of his t-shirt and began to lift. Once it had been removed and discarded Jeff did the same to her before gently undoing her bra and removing it.

Dixie then began to undo the button on Jeff's jeans, before unzipping them and letting them slide to the floor.

'Are you sure about this?' Jeff checked, his hands at the top of her jeans.

Dixie nodded and Jeff began to gently undo her jeans before they fell to the floor.

Gently, Dixie took hold of Jeff's boxers and lowered them down his legs and over his cast to the floor.

Jeff mirrored Dixie, taking her knickers and gently lowering them over her thighs before letting them fall.

'Beautiful' Jeff whispered, taking her in properly for the first time.

'It's not like you haven't seen it all before' Dixie said, wishing that that wasn't the case.

'Maybe not, but this is the first time that I've actually looked, properly looked', he said, tracing her collar bone with his finger, whilst he took in the sight of her fully naked body.

Stepping out of her pile of clothing, Dixie helped Jeff out of his before they both climbed onto the bed.

Dixie leant down over Jeff, kissing him tenderly whilst stroking her hands over his torso. Jeff ran his hands down Dixie's back, stopping just before he got to the bottom, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable.

Dixie picked up on this however and began to talk into his lips. 'You can touch my bum, you already do enough anyway, just this time it's without clothes' she said, smiling into the kiss.

Jeff laughed quietly, and lowered his hands. She was right, he did often like a quick feel as they kissed, so to be able to feel it with nothing in between was nice.

'You're already beginning to make me feel aroused and we've not even done anything yet' Jeff said as he continued caressing her bum.

'Good' Dixie whispered as she began to move her way down his body, stroking and kissing him as she went.

Jeff lay back and watched her, feeling an erection beginning to form.

Dixie worked her way down to the base of his stomach before moving down the bed and beginning to kiss the inside of his thigh.

'You don't know what you're doing to me' Jeff said breathily. The location of her head teasing his body into remembering the feelings of something it was never going to get. Well not tonight at least.

'I think I do' Dixie replied, looking up his body to his rock hard erection, before looking him in the eye.

'Come here Princess, I want to touch you' Jeff said, and watched as Dixie slowly made her way back up his body.

Rolling onto his side, being careful not to hurt her with his cast, Jeff began to work his hands over her chest and bum as they kissed. As he felt Dixie begin to mirror his movements he started to moan, loving the way she stroked and tickled, exploring every inch of his body that she felt comfortable with. As he felt her run her hand over his bum and along his side, tantalizingly close to his erection he wanted nothing more than to move his hips with arousal but knew that he couldn't.

'I have to go next door now Dix' he said into the kiss, knowing that if he didn't go now his body might subconsciously react in a way that scared her.

'Stay' she said, still running her hands over him, her lips not quite leaving his.

'I can't, I can't hold on much longer' he replied, knowing that there was nothing more he would rather do at this moment in time than stay right there with her.

'No I mean stay, you don't have to do it next door'.

Jeff pulled back from the kiss and looked her square in the eyes. 'Are you sure?'

'Yes, I'm not ready to touch you, not like that but I want to be with you, kissing you, stroking you, loving you'.

Jeff just looked at her for a few moments, realising that she truly meant it.

'Just tell me if you change your mind' he said.

'If I do I'll leave, ok?' She said, knowing the time it would take him to get to the other room on his crutches.

'Ok' he said, before kissing her slowly and rolling over onto his back. Dixie lay on her side, her head elevated slightly above his by leaning up on one arm.

Using his right hand he began to pleasure himself whilst Dixie lay there next to him, stroking random patterns on his chest, her eyes moving between watching what his hand was doing and looking at the pleasure on his face.

'Mmmm' he began to moan, his movements speeding up, his left hand coming up to stroke Dixie's hip and bum.

'I love you' she whispered, watching as he closed his eyes from the sheer ecstasy that he was experiencing.

'I love you too' he replied breathily, his left hand beginning to work his way up to Dixie's breasts.

Dixie listened as he continued to moan, his breathing getting deeper and his hand moving faster.

'Kiss me' he moaned, before feeling her lips on his. The kiss was passionate and clumsy but Dixie didn't mind, she loved being able to see and feel Jeff like this, all his vulnerabilities laid out in front of her.

'Dixie' he moaned, pulling back and grabbing her hand that was on his chest. She saw how his eyes were closed tightly in arousal, his mouth open wide as he breathed erratically, his moans getting louder.

'I'm here' she said, planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

'Ahhhh' he nearly shouted, his face scrunched up in ecstasy.

Dixie could tell that he was nearly there and watched as his hand went at lightening speed, his hips beginning to thrust up and down into it.

'DIXIE' he shouted, squeezing her hand tightly. 'KISS ME', and leaning down she felt all his love for her as he came whilst kissing her fast and passionately, moaning all the while.

As the kiss came to an end, Jeff opened his eyes and looked up at Dixie.

'Thank you' he said sounding thoroughly spent.

'I did nothing' she replied, feeling his grip loosen on her hand.

'You let me stay, and you made me feel loved, I'd hardly call that doing nothing'. He replied, taking his hand from hers and gently stroking her face.

'I enjoyed watching you, seeing you laid bare emotionally, seeing you at your most vulnerable. It was beautiful'.

Jeff smiled up at her, he had truly let himself go. 'Sorry about your hand, and if that kiss was too rough. It was just so powerful'.

'I could see' she smiled down at him. 'I liked it though, it showed me how much you love me, how much you fancy me. It just reminded me even more of how much I love you'.

Jeff gave her a gentle kiss before pulling back. 'I had better get up and get some tissues' he said, starting to sit up.

'You stay there' Dixie replied, knowing it would be easier if she went herself. Walking up to her chest of draws she picked up the tissue box from the top and brought it over.

Waiting for Jeff to clean himself up, Dixie looked down at the man she had married. If she'd been told on the day of their wedding that they'd be doing this together at some point in the future, she would have laughed. Now however she couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

Putting the box back on her drawers and the tissues in the bin, Dixie switched off the light before helping Jeff under the duvet and climbing in herself.

'Thank you for the perfect end to a perfect day' Jeff said pulling her in for a cuddle.

'It was my pleasure' she replied, resting her head on his chest. 'I love you Mr Collier, and seeing you happy makes me happy'.

'Ditto' he replied, kissing the top of her head and feeling like the luckiest man on earth.


	18. Chapter 18

**Note: thanks again for the reviews! And thanks MrsJeffreyCollier for letting me know what you thinks going on in casualty with Jeff. I am hoping the exact same thing!**

'Come on Dix, I thought you were ready' Jeff complained the next day, standing in the hallway putting on his jacket.

Jeff wanted to go shopping for another sofa as soon as possible so that with any luck it could be delivered by the following weekend and with Dixie's agreement they had arranged to go late that morning.

'I am ready. I was just letting out Little Abs' Dixie said, coming through to Jeff, grabbing the car keys on the way.

'Well let's go then' he replied, opening the front door and hobbling out.

Arriving at the furniture shop twenty minutes later, they walked inside and started to browse.

'Can I help you?' A male middle aged shop assistant asked.

'We're looking for a sofa, either a two or three seater. We've got one but we need another' Dixie answered.

'Ok, any particular style or colour?'

'Our current one is a dark maroon, so something maybe similar to that. Not too expensive though' Jeff replied.

'Ok, well we have a couple over here that you might like' the sales assistant told them, leading the way.

When they arrived at the first one, Jeff sat down.

'Have you got something not quite so deep. Something that you can sit properly on' Jeff asked. As he sat there, his legs could reach the floor but the backrest was too far back. It was a sofa made for curling up on, not something that he was able to do with his leg in a cast.

'Certainly Sir' the man said and took them to the next one.

'Ooo I like this' Dixie said looking at it. It was a three seater sofa, a similar shade and style to their current one and was not so deep as the last one they'd seen but would also allow her to curl up in the evening.

Sitting down on it, the pair of them decided that they liked it.

'How much is it?' Jeff asked.

'£800 for the three seater or £650 for the two seater'.

'Which would you prefer' Jeff asked, not wanting to pay £800 but would be willing if it was what she wanted.

'I'd prefer the three seater, something for the kids to stretch out on. After all if we're going to spend the money we might as well go the whole hog'. Dixie said.

'The Mrs has spoken' Jeff said to the man, with a smile on his lips.

'Ok, if you'd like to come with me we'll sort out payment and delivery' the man chuckled.

Following the man to the sales area, Jeff and Dixie took a seat at the desk.

'Ok how would you like to pay?'

'All at once please' Jeff said pulling out his card.

'Ok, let me just sort that out for you' the man said, before telling Jeff to put his card into the machine and type in his pin.

Once the transaction was completed a delivery date was arranged.

'We are able to deliver either Friday at 4 o'clock or Saturday at 2 o'clock'.

'Friday please. We need it for Saturday' Dixie responded.

'Oh, are you having a party or something then?' The man asked whilst tapping away on the computer.

'No, my kids are coming over' Jeff responded. 'They moaned yesterday that there wasn't enough space on the current one'.

'Well they are lucky kids having a dad like you to buy them a new one' the man continued.

'Na, I'm the lucky one' Jeff replied looking at Dixie. The man didn't know the half of it. If a new sofa was what it took for them to come round then a new sofa they would get. After having lost them once he didn't want it to happen again.

Finishing up at the desk, Jeff and Dixie left the shop and headed home. Jeff feeling relieved that everything was sorted for their next visit.

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The following Saturday, Dixie and Jeff sat on the new sofa watching TV whilst waiting for the kids to arrive. Curled up next to Jeff, Dixie was nervous about meeting his kids properly for the first time. She had seen them before but only fleetingly, and that was a good few years ago.

They had arranged that after meeting the kids and getting to know them a little she would head out and leave them all to it.

'What if they hate me?' Dixie questioned, tilting her head up from where it was resting on Jeff's chest.

'Of course they won't. Not when they get to know you' Jeff reassured her.

'I hope not' Dixie replied, just before the doorbell rang.

Looking up at Jeff, Dixie pulled back and got up to let them in.

'It'll be fine' he said quietly, watching as she turned and gave him a small nervous smile before leaving the room and heading to the front door.

'Hi' Dixie said, plastering a fake smile on her face, trying to cover her nerves once she'd opened the door.

'Hi' they said quietly, walking past her into the hall. Dropping their stuff they both leant down to pet Little Abs who had made his way to greet them.

'Hello Mr' Sophia said, planting a kiss on the dog's head.

'Your dad's in the lounge' Dixie said to their backs, wishing she was anywhere but there.

'Thanks' John muttered without looking away from Little Abs.

Sophia stood up and headed through.

'Hi dad' she said, heading over to sit next to him.

'Hi Princess, do you like the sofa?' Jeff asked, extending his arms for a cuddle.

'Yeah it's huge in comparison to the other one' Sophia answered, curling up to her dad and leaning her head on his chest, just like Dixie had done a few minutes before.

'Hi son' Jeff said as John walked in the room with Dixie in tow.

'Hi Dad' John replied, coming to sit on the sofa next to his sister.

Dixie went and sat on the old sofa, noticing Jeff's apologetic look that she had been kicked out of her seat. She just smiled back however, seeing the happiness within him having them all in the same room, and his daughter in his arms.

Leaning down, Jeff kissed his daughters head, feeling his love for his family run through his veins.

'Dad says you're a lesbian' John said, looking straight at Dixie.

'John' Jeff admonished, not seeing that one coming.

'Well it's true isn't it?' John asked turning to his father.

'Maybe so, but there are politer ways that you can bring the subject up'. Even whilst saying it Jeff knew it was futile. If John had wanted to be polite he could have. He was just doing what all teenagers would do - testing the boundaries.

Dixie didn't comment but could see Sophia watching everything intently from her fathers chest, knowing that she was taking it in and studying the situation.

'Ok, is it true you fancy women? When you're not shagging my dad that is' John asked.

'John!' Jeff said again, this time in a harsher voice. 'Don't be so rude'.

'Or maybe you're still shagging women while you're with my dad. I mean it's not like it's cheating considering it's with another woman'. John knew what he was saying and how it sounded, but he had his reasons.

'A word please' Jeff said in a tense voice, gently pushing Sophia off his chest and standing up. John got up, but instead of following his dad towards the door he walked up to the fire place, picking up their wedding photo and smashing it against the corner of the mantle piece before dropping it to the floor.

'That's what I think of your marriage' he said venomously whilst looking at Dixie.

'John get through here now!' Jeff said angrily, waiting for John to walk past him into the hall, leaving Dixie and Sophia in an awkward silence.

Jeff headed into the kitchen and closed the door behind John.

'Why are you being so rude. I thought you wanted her to stay for a while?' He asked.

'I do'

'Well you've got a funny way of showing it. If you want to talk about our relationship then we can, but I'd appreciate you showing Dixie some respect instead of smashing up the joint'.

'You have to earn respect, and so far she hasn't' John said in an angry tone.

'Well I'm your father and I know that we've had a difficult couple of years but surely I've earnt your respect'.

'So?'

'So if you won't respect her then respect me. Your mother and I didn't bring you up to behave like that'.

'Or what?' John said, angrily. This is what he had been pushing for all along.

'Or I'll ask Dixie to leave us for the afternoon'.

John stood their feeling shocked, but trying to keep it off his face. He thought that the answer would be 'or I'll ask you to leave'. He had been testing his father, testing her. Seeing how much it would take before he was chucked out. Ultimately he was testing how much he was loved.

Jeff could see John thinking. He could tell that that wasn't the answer that he had expected. His son might be a teenager but really he was still just a kid who wanted to be loved. He knew that John saw Dixie as the competition and he had to prove to him that no matter what, him and Sophia would always come first.

'Come here' Jeff said gently, leaning his crutches against the kitchen counter and opening his arms to his son.

'Why?' John continued, his voice remaining harsh.

'Because I want a hug from my son'.

'I'm not Sophia. I don't do hugs. Maybe one as a quick goodbye, but no more. I'm too old for all that'.

'You're my son. You'll never be too old. Come on, in here where it's private'.

Jeff looked at his son. He could see that deep down he was just a scared little boy who feared rejection from someone he loved so much.

John spent a few moments considering before slowly moving forward and into his fathers arms.

Jeff held his son tightly, kissing the side of his head.

'You don't have to try and push my buttons you know. Whatever you say, whatever you do, I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. I told you last week - you'll always be welcome here'.

'Actions speak louder than words' John muttered into his fathers shoulder.

'What so you thought you wind me up, see how I'd react?'.

'Yeah, I figured I'd never know how welcome we really were until I did something wrong'.

Jeff pulled his son away from him so that he could look him in the eyes.

'John, you and Sophia will always come first however badly you behave because you're my kids and I love you both more than life itself'.

'So if you had to choose...'

'I'd choose you two. But please don't ask me to do that'.

'You always said that people who ask someone to choose deserve to be lost'.

'That doesn't apply if it's your kids'.

'It wasn't just you, I was testing Dixie as well' John said, looking down at the floor.

'And did she pass?' Jeff smiled gently.

'Yeah, I mean she hasn't kicked me out yet'.

'She won't, she knows how important you are to me. If you've changed your mind and want her to leave she will you know, no questions asked'.

'How do you know that?' John said, looking back at his Dad.

'Because she said she would before you came. She'll do whatever makes you happiest'.

'Why? She doesn't know me'.

'Because she knows me, and she knows how important you guys are to me. She doesn't want to get in the way of that. You said actions speak louder than words - well let her prove it. Just get to know her eh? For me?'.

John thought about this for a moment 'Ok' he said, pausing slightly before continuing. 'Do I have to apologise?'.

'I'd like you to, but it doesn't have to be now, just do it when you really mean it. It will be more significant that way. It doesn't matter if it's not today, but sometime yeah?'.

'Ok dad' John said, feeling significantly happier.

'Come on, grab the snacks and let's head back' Jeff replied, wanting to get things back on track.

As they headed back into the lounge, Dixie had nearly finished picking up all the visible pieces of glass and walked away to put them in the bin before coming back, picking up the photo and taking it into the kitchen, placing it on the counter.

Inside she wanted to cry. That hadn't been the reaction she'd been expecting, she had expected animosity, but not outright hatred.

Fetching the vacuum cleaner from under the stairs Dixie went back into the lounge to get rid of any small pieces of glass. As she walked in she saw Jeff sitting back next to Sophia who had curled up into him whilst John started offering out the fun size chocolate bars left over from last weekend.

'Can I have two?' Sophia asked, looking up at her dad.

'Go on then, seeing as it's you' Jeff replied, chuckling gently before taking one as well.

John put a couple down on the sofa for himself before walking over to Dixie.

'Do you want a chocolate?' He asked in a quiet voice.

'Thanks' she said taking one and smiling at him. She didn't know what Jeff had said or done but it had obviously worked.

Clearing up the mess, Dixie went and put the vacuum cleaner under the stairs. She thought it might be best if she left but looking at Jeff when she arrived back in the lounge, she knew that he wanted her to stay, his head motioning her to sit down.

As Dixie headed back to the sofa Jeff figured now would be a good time to get any other issues out of the way.

'So Sophia, do you have any questions you want to ask us?'.

'Not really. You kind of explained it all last week' she said, figuring that she could ask stuff later if she thought of anything.

'John?' Jeff asked.

'Not really' John replied, internally agreeing with Sophia.

'Ok well then how about we get on with some games?' Jeff suggested.

'Excellent' Sophia replied, getting up to sort out the wii.

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As the afternoon progressed Dixie and the kids began to feel more relaxed with each other. Jeff was glad that there were no more outbursts like earlier and that everyone was starting to get along.

'Come on John' Sophia shouted as she watched John play against Jeff on the wii.

They were playing tennis and so far Jeff was well in the lead.

'I'm trying. Who knew an old man had so much energy' John said, trying but failing to beat his father.

'Oi, enough of the old' Jeff joked. 'You kids, I thought you were meant to be good at this' Jeff said before the game ended and he was announced the winner.

'I swear you cheated!' John said slumping back on the sofa.

'Right your turn Dixie' Sofia said. Pitting her against her father to see who would be the overall champion.

'Ok' Dixie said enthusiastically as she stood up.

'Winner gets the last chocolate' Jeff said.

'Deal' Dixie replied, starting a fresh game.

As the game began Sophia began to cheer. 'Come on Dixie' she shouted.

'Hey, you're meant to be cheering me on!' Jeff said, briefly turning to look at this daughter.

'Na Dad, you can't win else we'll never hear the end of it' Sophia said before beginning to cheer for Dixie again.

'See what you've done?! Turning my own kids against me' Jeff joked.

'Well what can I say, they know who's the better winner' Dixie replied.

As the game progressed Dixie took the lead and before long she was declared the champion.

'YEAH' Sophia shouted at the top of her lungs, giving Dixie a high five.

John just smirked at his dad, 'not so good now eh?'.

'Shut up' Jeff replied, sitting down next to his son as Dixie went to get the last chocolate.

'Want half?' Dixie asked Sophia.

'Thanks' Sophia smiled, watching Dixie split the fun size chocolate bar in half.

'Why don't I get half? I did come second after all' Jeff complained with a smile in his eyes.

'Because Sophia was cheering me on' Dixie replied, popping the chocolate into her mouth.

'Charming, my whole families turned against me' Jeff sulked.

Dixie's heart warmed at being included as one of his family. Legally she had been his family for years, but actually being counted as part of it made her feel special.

'Can we order the pizza now?' John asked, looking at his Dad.

'Yeah, I'm starving. All them games have taken it out of me' Jeff said.

'Yeah, you looking like you're wasting away' Dixie mocked.

Sophia laughed, she was liking Dixie more and more by the minute.

'Go and get the menu you!' Jeff said, smiling at her.

After they had ordered and the pizza was delivered, Jeff settled back on the big sofa with his kids either side of him whilst Dixie curled up on the small one ready to watch the film.

Jeff felt bad that Dixie had to sit alone but he knew that she understood that the kids wanted to sit with him. He was their father after all, and they wanted to make the most of all the time they had with him. Jeff just looked around the room that contained his whole world. He knew that as long as he had these three people in his life then he would be happy.

Watching Sophia lean in to take a slice of pizza from the box on his lap, he remembered her as a toddler walking up to grab part of a snack he was eating. He couldn't believe how fast the years had gone and how much he'd missed in the last couple. Putting his arm around her shoulders he pulled her in and kissed the top of her head. 'I love you Princess' he whispered, swearing to himself that he wouldn't miss another second.

Sophia looked up and smiled at him, resting her head on his shoulder as she began to munch away.

He knew John wouldn't want a public display but vowed that he would let him know how much he was loved before he left that evening.

Dixie looked across and saw Jeff whispering to his daughter. She couldn't hear what he was saying but she could tell by the look in his eyes it was words of love. She was glad that he had made that call, glad that he had persuaded John to give her a chance and glad that finally he looked content. She didn't even care that she had to sit alone for the evening - the look of happiness and pure love on Jeff's face certainly made up for it.

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When the film finished and they had watched all they wanted on TV John text Lucy to come and collect them.

When she arrived Dixie said goodbye to the kids and waited in the lounge whilst Jeff walked them to the front door. Wrapping Sophia into a tight hug, Jeff just took in her smell, not wanting her to leave.

'I'll miss you' he said, stroking her head and planting a kiss on top.

'I'll miss you too dad' she replied into his chest before pulling back a little to look up into his eyes, 'so I wondered if next weekend I can stay the night?'.

Jeff looked down at his daughter, his body filling with happiness. There was nothing he would like more.

'I would love that, but at the minute you don't have a bedroom so how about next weekend we go shopping for bits to decorate one of the spare rooms and then you stay over the weekend after?' he asked.

'Even better, I've always wanted two bedrooms!' Sophia said smiling up at him.

'Perfect' Jeff replied before pulling her back in for another quick hug. 'You'd better go now, mum's waiting' he said, kissing her once more before she left.

Pushing the front door closed slightly to give them a bit of privacy Jeff turned to his son.

'Come here' he said, and pulled John into a warm embrace.

'You can stay too if you want' Jeff continued, wanting to make his son feel welcome, but not wanting to force it.

'Do you think Dixie would mind?' John asked into his fathers shoulder.

'Of course not. We can decorate the other room for you too, like I said earlier, you are always welcome, however you behave'.

'Thanks Dad' John said, secretly enjoying being in his fathers arms.

'I love you son, don't you ever forget it' Jeff said, kissing him gently.

'I love you too Dad' John replied, before pulling back from the hug and walking out to the car.

After watching them drive off, Jeff closed and locked the front door before slowly making his way back into the lounge and onto the small sofa next to Dixie.

'Thanks for today Dix, I know it hasn't been easy' Jeff said, pulling Dixie into a cuddle, her head resting on his chest.

'That's ok, it's been fun for the most part' she replied.

'You mean you didn't enjoy being asked about your sex life by my son, or having him smash our wedding photo?' Jeff joked.

'Of course I did, that was the highlight!' Dixie laughed back.

Jeff laughed gently. 'Thanks for taking it so well' he said. He knew Dixie and he knew that if it was anyone else she would gave given them an earful and sent them packing.

'How else was I meant to take it, he's your son' Dixie replied.

'You know he was testing us?' Jeff said, looking down into her eyes.

'What do you mean 'testing us'?' Dixie asked confused.

'He wanted to see how welcome they really were. He wanted to see what he'd have to do to get kicked out. I don't think he believed that you really wanted him here'.

'I suppose we should be grateful, you once smashed the ambulance window to get yourself kicked out, at least all our windows are still intact!' Dixie said smiling up at him.

'Like father like son eh?'

'Too right!' Dixie said before pausing. 'What did you say to him in the end to get him to calm down?'.

'I just told him how much I loved him. Reminded him that they would always be my top priority. I think he thought it was a competition, you know, who I loved more, you or them. I think he just needs a bit of TLC, he's not like Sophia though, I have to make sure that I get some private time with him, he won't want a fuss in public'.

'Poor kid' Dixie said, knowing it must be hard for John to accept.

'Yeah but on the plus side Sophia seems to like you'.

'Yeah, she's been lovely' Dixie replied, genuinely enjoying her company.

'Good, because their's something I need to tell you' Jeff said, uncertain as to how Dixie would react.

'What's that then?' Dixie asked.

'Well you know the spare rooms...they're no longer spare'.

'Hu?'

'Sophia asked if she could stay the night next weekend but I said there was no where for her to stay, so I kind of suggested that we decorate the spare rooms and they stay the weekend after'.

'By decorate you mean...'

'Turn them into a pair of teenage bedrooms'.

Jeff had a slightly worried look on his face, he knew he should really have discussed this with her first, it was her house after all, but he was just so happy that he didn't want to do anything to make them think they weren't welcome.

'That's fine' Dixie said, watching his face relax. 'After all, now that we're properly sharing it's not like we need the others'.

'Thanks Princess' Jeff replied, leaning in for a gentle kiss. 'We'll need to buy John a bed as well. Sophia can have your old double'.

'We'll work out what we need tomorrow' Dixie said, snuggling even further up against Jeff. 'Let's just relax now eh?'.

'Sure thing Princess' Jeff said, kissing his wife's head and settling back to watch some TV.


	19. Chapter 19

Note: thanks MrsJeffreyCollier and xfilesgem for the kind reviews. I too wish we'd seen more of it in the show! Sorry it has taken so long to update, I have been busy with work!

Feeling excited the next morning, Jeff left Dixie to sleep whilst he went into her old room. He couldn't wait to turn it into a bedroom for Sophia, finally solidifying having his kids back in his life.

Looking around he knew that it would be expensive kitting out two bedrooms but he didn't care. Dixie had moved her draws and wardrobe into his room so the only thing that was left was the bed. The other spare room was empty, except for a lonely wardrobe that contained their work clothes, some junk that they had accumulated over the years and the ironing board and iron.

Jeff figured that they could move their work clothes into their own wardrobes to save some money, and then they would only need to buy one bed and one wardrobe, as well as the paint and any other small things that they wanted to make their rooms feel homely.

Hearing footsteps, Jeff turned around.

'What are you doing handsome?' Dixie asked, wrapping her arm around his waist.

'Just thinking about what needs to be done' Jeff replied, putting an arm around her shoulders.

'And what does need to be done?'

'Well I was thinking we could move our works clothes and use that wardrobe for John, as well as buying one for Sophia and getting another bed'.

'Ok, and I assume we'll clear out the junk from the other room, the Christmas bits can go in the loft and we can put the ironing board in the gap next to the washing machine in the kitchen'.

'Perfect' Jeff replied, glad that Dixie was being so helpful.

'Ok, well let me get dressed and I'll start moving some stuff, you're not going to be much use with that ankle'.

'Tell you what. If you move all of our works clothes through, I'll start hanging them up'.

Dixie agreed, and with that they set to work clearing out John's new room.

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A couple of hours later when everything had been put away in their new places and both rooms had been vacuumed, Jeff and Dixie sat down on her old bed for a rest.

'I can't believe their back Dix. Thank you for doing all this for us'.

'No problem. You've done so much for me, it's nice to be able to help you for a change'.

Jeff leant in and gently kissed Dixie, his thumb stroking her cheek. After a short while he pulled back and looked into her eyes.

'What would I do without you?'.

'Lets hope we never have to find out' she smiled before patting his leg. 'Right, I'm starving, let's get some breakfast'.

'Right you are Mrs Collier' Jeff said standing up, picking up his crutches and making his way downstairs.

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Saturday came and the kids had just arrived.

'Right you two, fancy going upstairs to take a look at your rooms and see what you want doing?' Jeff said, coming into the hall.

'Yes please' Sophia said, making her way upstairs closely followed by John and Jeff.

'This one's yours Sophia' Jeff said opening the door to Dixie's old room.

'A double bed, nice!' Sophia replied, going inside to look at the nearly empty space.

'It was Dixie's, but as she doesn't need it any more it's now yours' Jeff said matter of factly.

'Perfect' Sophia replied jumping onto the bed and lying down in the centre.

'Have you thought about what colour room you want?' Jeff asked.

'I was watching 60 minute makeover on YouTube the other day and they had a really nice room that they did up. It was white with one purple wall so I think I'd like something like that' Sophia said, climbing off the bed.

'Ok, that shouldn't be too difficult' Jeff replied, before turning around and leading the way to John's room.

'And this will be your room' he said as they entered.

'Ha you have no bed!' Sophia laughed.

'That's because I'm getting a brand new one' John smirked back which shut Sophia up.

'What colour walls do you want?' Jeff asked John.

'Blue I think' John said studying his new room.

'Ok, well when we buy the paint we can all get started on transforming these rooms into your new bedrooms'.

'Can we go now Dad?' Sophia asked, wanting to get started as soon as possible.

'That's the plan' Jeff replied, leading them all back downstairs and popping his head into the lounge where Dixie was watching TV.

'Ok princess, we're ready when you are'.

'Lets go then' Dixie said, standing up and switching it off.

Grabbing the keys, Dixie made her way out of the house and to the car, with the kids and Jeff following closely behind.

When they arrived at B&Q, they all headed inside and went straight to the paint section. After a short while they had selected the colours they wanted and took them to the till for Jeff to pay for, before heading to the shop next door for furniture.

'Can I have a wardrobe and drawers Dad?' Sophia asked, whilst they made their way over to the bedroom department, John going over to the beds.

'That's going to be quite expensive Princess, how about we get you a wardrobe that has a couple of drawers at the bottom?'.

Sophia thought for a moment. She was unsure that that would be enough space however as they turned the corner she fell in love with the first one she set eyes on. Going over to it she opened it and saw that there was even a mirror on the inside of one of the doors.

'Dad it's perfect, it's a nice colour, it has a couple of drawers and it even has a mirror. Please please please can I have it?' Sophia asked, wrapping her arms round his waist and planting a kiss on his cheek.

Jeff looked at it. It was a nice size and not too expensive.

'Lets look at a couple more first' Jeff said, wanting to make sure that she was sure.

'Please Dad' she whined.

'If there's nothing else you want but have a quick look first' he said, pushing her in the direction of the others.

Sophia walked around for a bit but after five minutes she came back.

'This is the one I want' she said 'unless you want to buy me that double over there?'

'Nice try but we'll get this one.' Jeff laughed before they headed off to find John.

Arriving at the beds they found John sprawled out on a double.

'This is the one' John said, sitting up as they came over.

'Sorry son, but I don't have enough money to pay for a double' Jeff replied gently whilst looking at the price tag.

'Why not? Sophia has one' he asked.

'I know but that was Dixie's. I just can't afford it, not after the sofa, paint and wardrobe'.

'So Sophia can have the wardrobe she wants but I can't have a double bed?' He continued moodily.

'Yes but she has compromised as well. She isn't getting a chest of drawers'.

'I don't have a chest of drawers!'.

'I'm sorry son, but their must be a single you like the look of' Jeff asked.

'No, it doesn't matter. Don't bother' John said getting up.

'What do you mean don't bother?' Jeff questioned.

'I won't stay. You can take the paint back. That'll save you some money' John said, starting to walk away.

'John I want you to stay. I just can't afford £800 for a bed' Jeff called after him.

'No it's fine' John replied, and turned the corner out of sight.

Dixie couldn't stand seeing the pain on Jeff's face, she knew how much this was hurting him - his son walking away, threatening not to stay. Making up her mind she ran after him.

'John' she called, catching up with him.

'What do you want?' He said, not turning to look at her but continuing on his way.

'I'll pay'

'What?' John asked turning to look at her.

'If that's the bed you really want then I'll pay for it'.

'Why?'

'Because you're Dad can't afford it and I can'.

'But why would you do that for me?'

'Because I don't want you to fall out with your Dad over a bed'.

'What's it matter to you?'

'It matters because I love him and I have never seen him as excited as when you and Sophia asked to stay the night. It would break his heart to think that you had changed your mind'.

John just looked at her for a minute. He couldn't believe that she was willing to buy him a bed just so that he stayed the night. Maybe she wanted them there more than he'd realised.

'So what do you think?' Dixie asked gently.

After a few more moments John had made his decision. 'Ok'.

Dixie smiled at him, relieved that he had agreed.

'Thank you' he said quietly.

'You're welcome' Dixie replied, putting a hand on his shoulder and leading him back towards Jeff and Sophia.

As they came back into sight Jeff looked relieved that John had returned.

'I'll buy the bed' Dixie said coming up alongside Jeff.

'No Dix, I can ask you to do that' Jeff replied looking slightly shocked.

'You didn't ask me to, I want to'.

Jeff just looked at her for a couple of moments realising she that would not be budged.

'I'll pay you back every penny' he said, the relief in his face showing the gratitude that he felt.

'No you won't. It's my present to John' Dixie replied, smiling across at the teenager who gave a small smile in return.

'Thanks Dix' Jeff said promising himself that he would make it up to her later.

After John had tested out the bed again Jeff went and paid for the wardrobe whilst Dixie took care of paying for the bed. Twenty minutes later after all was sorted and delivery dates were set they got back in the car to go home.

Arriving back at the house Dixie and John unloaded the paint from the car whilst Jeff took Sophia to fetch the rollers and the sheets out of the garage.

'I'm sorry' John said as Dixie handed him a second pot of paint.

'For what?'.

'For last weekend. For the things I said to you and smashing your photo'. John felt bad about it all now. Especially as Dixie had bought him the bed.

'It's ok, you were upset'.

'I know, but it was still rude of me. I don't hate you you know'.

'I'm glad, because I don't hate you either'.

'Can we start afresh?'

'Of course we can. Hi, I'm Dixie' She said, putting out her hand.

John smiled, and shook it. 'I'm John. Nice to meet you'.

'Nice to meet you too' Dixie replied, smiling back. 'Right then, shall we get these inside?'.

'Yeah' John replied, glad that she seemed to have forgiven him.

As they got into the hall they saw Sophia coming through with all the equipment they would need, with Jeff hobbling along behind with some sheets over his shoulder.

Sophia went up the stairs closely followed by John but as Jeff went to start climbing the stairs Dixie stopped him.

'What's wrong?' He asked, turning to look at her as he felt her hand on his shoulder.

'Nothing' she said, watching until the kids were out of sight. 'John just apologised for last weekend' she continued quietly.

'Did he say why now?'.

'No, but I think me buying that bed helped' she said, smiling at him. 'He said he wanted to start afresh'.

'That's great news Dix' Jeff grinned, glad that his son had waited until he meant it.

'Hopefully this means that he has began to realise how welcome he really is'.

'Lets hope so' Jeff continued before Sophia arrived at the top of the stairs.

'Come on Dad' she said, walking down to fetch the sheets.

'I'm on my way!' He replied, passing them to her before following her back up the stairs, Dixie trailing behind with the rest of the paint.

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The rest of the afternoon was spent decorating. Dixie helping Sophia whilst Jeff helped John.

'How's it coming on?' Jeff asked walking into Sophia's room a few hours later.

'Not bad' Dixie said, from the top of the step ladder.

'It'll need another coat though when we're done' Sophia added.

'Ok, well it won't be dry in time to do it today'.

'Can we do it next weekend?'.

'No you won't want to sleep in a room that stinks of paint fumes. I'll do it during the week if you don't mind helping me Dix?'.

'Of course not. You won't manage it by yourself, not with the cast'.

'Thanks' Jeff replied before turning to leave. 'Right ladies, I'll leave you to get on with it'.

Returning to John, Jeff picked his roller back up and continued with the painting.

'Dad' John said.

'Yeah?'

'I'm sorry about last weekend. What I said about Dixie and the photo. I'll get you a new frame'.

'It's alright son, you don't have to do that. I'm just glad that you realised that she's not that bad'.

'I just thought she was going to be like the rest'.

'What rest?' Jeff asked. He hadn't introduced his kids to any of his short term romances.

'Mum's boyfriends. They move in and then treat the place like it's their own and that we're in the way. They usually pay us to go out so that they can have mum all to themselves for a few hours. Dixie's different, she was actually willing to pay for me to stay'.

'Does mum know you feel like this?' Jeff asked worried about his kids.

'No, but she split up with the last one because of the way he treated us'.

'How did he treat you?' Jeff questioned.

'He used to ask us to go to bed early so that they could be alone. He wanted to go on holiday without us and got angry when mum said no. I overheard him asking her once if we could go and live with you instead, that's when they split up'.

'Oh John' Jeff sighed. 'Dixie isn't like that. She likes having you here as she can see how happy it makes me. She just wants us all to get along'.

'I know that now. She seems nice'.

'She is' Jeff said, pausing briefly before continuing. 'You know that if any of mums boyfriends act like that again you must tell her, or tell me and I'll speak to her. Just remember if it all gets too much you are always welcome here'.

'Thanks Dad'.

'You don't have to thank me, it's my job as your father'. Jeff said, finally beginning to understand why John had acted so out of character recently.

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That evening when the first coats had been finished and the kids had gone home Jeff got ready for a shower to clean himself up.

Walking into the bathroom he undressed and turned on the hot water, watching the room fill with steam. Covering his cast with a plastic bag, he stepped into the shower and sat on the stool that Dixie had placed there for him, making sure to keep his foot out of the stream of water. As he washed he thought about how lucky he was to have Dixie as a wife. Not many people would spend £800 just to keep their partners child happy. He was sad that Lucy's boyfriends had been so tough on his kids and mentally made a note to have a word with her about it. For now though he just wanted to focus on Dixie and thank her for everything that she had done recently to help keep his fragile family together.

When he had finished he got out and took the bag off his cast before wrapping a towel around his waist and hobbling back to the bedroom.

'Hello Princess. I didn't know you were up here' Jeff said, coming into their room to find Dixie getting undressed.

'I was just going to take a shower' she replied, taking off her bra.

'I have a better idea' Jeff grinned, going up to her and putting his hands on her hips, just on the edge of her knickers.

'Oh yeah, what was that then?' She teased.

'Well seeing as you're rather clean, how about we work up a sweat first?'.

'I could be tempted' she replied coyly.

'Good' he said, leaning in for a kiss, whilst beginning to push her knickers down.

Dixie unwrapped his towel and let it drop to the floor before leading him slowly over to the bed and laying down face to face.

After a few minutes of kissing and exploring Dixie pulled back and looked Jeff in the eye.

'I think I'm ready' she whispered.

'Ready for what?' He asked, wanting to make sure he knew exactly what her limits were.

'For you to touch me...everywhere'.

'You mean you want me to pleasure you?'.

Dixie nodded. 'I don't know if I'll ever be ready to have sex...'

'...but this is the first step' Jeff finished.

Dixie nodded again and took hold of his right hand, leading it down her body, before rolling onto her back and opening her legs, showing Jeff how she liked to be touched.

After guiding Jeff's finger for a few moments she removed her hand, relaxing back into the pillow as he continued touching and rubbing her in the way that she had shown.

'Perfect' she whispered, looking up into his eyes. It had been a long time since she or anyone else had touched her and she knew that she wouldn't last long.

'I love you Princess' Jeff said, stroking her head with his other hand. Looking down at her he could see the arousal in her eyes and hear the gentle moans escaping her lips. This is the only way she should be touched, not what those monsters did to her.

'Feels nice' she moaned, looking at him, her left hand coming up to stroke the arm that was pleasuring her.

'Good' he replied, looking down her body at what he was doing before looking back at her face.

'I like it when you watch' she said breathily.

'Turns you on eh?'.

'Yeah' she groaned.

'I like learning what turns you on' he replied, leaning in for a gentle kiss before looking back down her body, he himself already hard with arousal.

'Ditto' she moaned, tilting her head back in pure ecstasy.

'Don't stop' she groaned, breathing heavily, her hand gripping his wrist and her legs beginning to writhe around.

'No chance of that Princess' he whispered, looking back up at her, knowing that it wouldn't be long.

Moving his finger faster, he listened to her moan and watched as her face scrunched up, her eyes never leaving his.

'Jeff' she groaned loudly, her body writhing around as her orgasm came and she was tipped over the edge.

'I love you' Jeff told her again as her orgasm came to an end. Removing his hand from between her legs, he brought it up to her face and leant in for a soft kiss.

'I love you too' she said as they broke apart, cupping the back of his head and rubbing it with her thumb. 'Now it's your turn' she continued, gently pushing him over onto his back and rolling onto her side. 'Just show me what to do'.

'Are you sure?' He asked. It had been years since anyone had just taken him in their hand.

'Yes, although I'll warn you I've never done this before so I won't be very good'.

'I'll teach you' he whispered, taking her hand and placing it around his penis, slowly guiding it up and down.

'Just tell me if you want me to take over' he said, not wanting to push her too far.

'I will' she replied.

Jeff taught her the way he liked to be touched, how firm he wanted her hand and how fast he wanted her to go. After a while he let go of her hand and enjoyed the feeling of what his wife was doing to him.

'Is it ok?' She asked, watching what she was doing.

'It's amazing' he moaned, keeping his eyes on her face, making sure that she was still comfortable.

After a couple of minutes Jeff knew that we was coming close. 'Faster' he moaned, and feeling her comply he let out a deep groan.

'You sure you've never done this before?' He asked breathily, a small smile on his lips.

'Positive' she whispered, looking deep into his eyes, the pleasure he was feeling written all over his face.

Checking that Dixie was ok, he began to move his hips, groaning as the feeling of ecstasy intensified.

Dixie smiled down at him, she couldn't quite believe that she was pleasuring her husband, that all his arousal was down to her.

'Ahhh faster' he groaned again, and she moved her hand faster, remembering how quickly Jeff's hand had been going last time.

'Show me' she said, wanting to maximize his pleasure.

Taking her hand, Jeff began to pump it up and down before letting go to grip onto the bed sheets.

'Ahhh' he shouted, feeling his orgasm arrive.

Dixie continued doing what he had shown her and within a few seconds she began to feel a warm liquid on her hand.

Looking down she watched as he came, continuing to pump her hand up and down until his orgasm ended.

'That was great, thanks Princess' he said leaning up to give her a kiss.

'I enjoyed it too' she replied when the kiss ended, 'but I'm afraid you're going to have to teach me everything, it's all so different to what I'm used to'.

'Practicing is the fun part!' Jeff smiled.

'It sure is. I mean I know the theory behind it all, but it's still strange, touching you like that, feeling you come'.

'Yeah, both sexes get messy in their own way'.

'We sure do' Dixie said looking down at her hand.

'Sorry babe, that's the hazard of sex with a bloke'.

'I don't mind, it's you, all you, and I wouldn't change a single thing', she replied, kissing him quickly before getting off the bed to find the tissues, wiping her hand before passing them to Jeff so that he could clean himself up.

Coming back to lay down beside him Dixie began to speak.

'I feel like we're properly married now, both emotionally and physically. Like we're doing stuff that a normal married couple would do'.

'Not me and Lucy, by the end she wouldn't go near me. She had no need when she was getting it all from my best mate' Jeff replied simply. 'Not that I care about that now because if it hadn't been for her affair then we wouldn't be here now'.

'Exactly. Obviously I'm not saying that about what they did to me, but Annie leaving was a blessing in disguise. I thought it was the end when really it was just the beginning of something even more special'.

'Damn I love you Dix, let's just be grateful that because of your Dad you married me'.

'I know, I thought trying to keep my sexuality a secret from him was a nightmare, but actually it was the best thing that ever happened to me. And he gave us his blessing even when he found out. I'm sure he'll be looking down and smiling at us'.

'Well let's just hope that he hasn't been looking down for the last twenty minutes' Jeff joked.

'Shut up' Dixie laughed, swatting his chest with her hand, before snuggling up to him and leaning her head down on it.

'I meant what I said Jeff. I have so much to learn' Dixie said, drawing random patterns with her finger on his chest.

'You're not the only one. I might have slept with women before, but I still don't know what you like. We'll have to teach each other'.

'Deal' Dixie replied, kissing the skin beneath her head. 'Now I really had better go and have a shower'.


	20. Chapter 20

Note: thanks MrsJeffreyCollier for the kind review :) so sad that Jeff's leaving casualty! Hopefully they do a nice goodbye between him and Dixie.

During the week both bedrooms were repainted and the furniture arrived so that by the weekend they were ready for the kids.

'Wow how much have you brought?' Jeff said to Sophia when she arrived with a

large suitcase in tow.

'I thought I could leave some stuff here like my old hair dryer and straighteners, some pyjamas, some basic clothes and toiletries. That way I don't have to cart it here and back each time'.

'Good plan' Jeff replied, pleased that she was bringing enough to indicate that she would want to stay over quite often.

'I did the same' John said, pulling his backpack off his shoulder.

'You've got everything in there?' Dixie asked.

'Yeah, a couple of pairs of jeans, a few t-shirts, some underwear and a toothbrush. What more could I need?'.

'Exactly' said Jeff. 'He's a guy Dix, we travel light'.

'So it seems' she replied, beginning to help Sophia carry her case up the stairs.

John unpacked within five minutes and lazed on the sofa in front of the TV. Sophia on the other hand took half an hour and by the time she was done she was starving.

'I'm hungry Dad' she said walking down the stairs and into the kitchen where Jeff was making a cup of tea.

'Well now you're done I was thinking that we could all go out for lunch'.

'Ooo where?' Sophia asked, liking the sound of that.

'It's up to you and John. Go and have a chat and come back and tell me what you've decided'.

'Ok' Sophia smiled before heading for the lounge.

'John Dad says we can go out for lunch so it's up to us where we want to go'.

'Hmmm, how about Toby Carvery or the Indian?' John suggested.

'Toby Carvery, that's one of my favourites' Sophia replied before heading back to the kitchen.

'Wow that was fast' Jeff said, expecting to have heard a least a little bit of squabbling.

'Well I am amazing' Sophia joked.

'So where have you both decided then?'

'Toby carvery'.

'Ok well go and get Dix from the garden and we'll go'.

Sophia bounded away and headed outside to find Dixie.

'Dixie, Dad says to come in as we are going out for lunch' Sophia said, finding Dixie clearing up Little Abs dog mess.

'Ok, give me a minute to sort this out and wash my hands, then I'm ready'.

Sophia headed back inside and they all began to get ready.

When they arrived at the restaurant they were shown to a table and then left in peace.

Fetching their food Dixie couldn't believe how much John and Jeff had piled onto their plates.

'How the hell are you going to eat all that?' She asked.

'We're Colliers' John replied as if that answered everything before beginning to tuck into his food.

Jeff just smiled, his son definitely had a large appetite like himself and he knew that however long it took, they would not be beaten.

Thirty minutes later however they both sat there, feeling stuffed and ever so slightly sick.

'I never want to see another roast potato again' Jeff groaned.

'But you're Colliers. Nothing's too much for you' Dixie teased, earning her a glare from the guys and a laugh from Sophia.

'Come on then, if you've both finished let's pay the bill and go home'.

Jeff and the kids got up and walked to the car whilst Dixie paid the bill. On the way home she got complaints from the guys every time she went over a speed hump too fast or around a corner too quickly.

'You're doing this on purpose' Jeff complained, closing his eyes and trying to ignore his stomach.

'Would I?' Dixie chuckled and looked at Sophia in the rear view mirror, seeing her smile back.

Arriving back at the house Jeff and John went and sprawled out on the sofa, both undoing the buttons on their jeans and trying to focus on the TV to take their minds off it.

Dixie went into the kitchen to make herself a drink and was followed by Sophia.

'Can I ask you something?' Sophia questioned, going to sit at the table.

'Of course' Dixie replied, wondering what was bothering her.

'What's it like being a lesbian?'.

Dixie turned to look at her, she hadn't been expecting that.

'Well it's pretty normal to me'.

'Yeah I know, but doesn't it make life a bit harder'.

'Sometimes, but it wasn't a choice sweetheart'. Dixie knew Sophia was just curious so figured the best way to deal with it was to answer truthfully, show that there was nothing to be ashamed of.

'I know that, but you married Dad because of it. I could never imagine marrying somebody just to keep a secret'.

'But normally it wouldn't have been a secret. People usually assume I'm straight until I tell them otherwise. I don't try and hide it, I'm not ashamed I just didn't want to upset my Dad when he was dying. My mum knew though'.

'Why didn't you tell him when you were my age?' Sophia asked, curious as to why it was ever a secret in the first place.

Dixie picked up her tea and sat down at the table with Sophia.

'Because things weren't so simple in them days, especially not for my Dad's generation. My mum kind of guessed so I told her the truth, but the thought never crossed my Dad's mind. His daughter was normal and that was that'.

'But you are normal'.

'I know but like I said, they were different times, people had different ideas about sexuality than they do now. Why are you asking all this sweetheart?'.

'I'm just curious. I've never met a lesbian before'.

Dixie smiled, Sophia really was a child.

'Isn't it annoying that people assume you're straight all the time?'

'People will always assume things about other people. It doesn't come up that often though, it's not like I buy a sandwich and have to tell the shop assistant'.

Sophia grinned 'but what about when it does come up?'

'Well I have a choice. If I want them to know then I'll tell them, and if not I just say that I'm married. Well until now. Now that I'm properly with your Dad the 'I'm married' response is the only one necessary'.

'So does that mean you're not a lesbian any more?'. This was what Sophia was struggling to get her head around.

'No. I'll always be a lesbian. If anything ever happened and your Dad and I split up then I would go back to dating women'.

'Then I don't get how you can fancy my Dad if you don't fancy men' Sophia looked confused and Dixie knew it was a lot for her to take in.

Pausing to think for a few seconds, Dixie began to explain. 'It's not like I fancy your Dad like I fancy women, but I just love him so much that I can see past him being a bloke. Basically I fancy his personality, rather than his body, and because I fancy his personality I can accept his body for what it is'.

'But surely you could do that with other men too. Doesn't that make you bisexual then?'.

'Well theoretically yes, I could do that with other men, but I have never loved a single man or woman as much as I love your Dad, and I doubt I would ever love another man this much again. Like I said earlier, I fancy women not men, so no I'm not bisexual. Your Dad is just a special case'.

'I think I understand' Sophia said, trying to get her head around everything.

Dixie just smiled at her 'it's ok, it must feel quite complicated for you'.

'Yeah it does. Do you mind if I don't tell my friends that you're properly with my dad now. I don't think I could explain the fact that you're still a lesbian'.

'That's fine' Dixie smiled. 'As long as you're ok with it'.

'Yeah. I mean I don't totally get it, but I understand that you love him more than just being mates'.

'Well then that's all that's important'.

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They spent the rest of the day relaxing around the house, watching films and playing games. By ten o'clock Sophia was tired and had fallen asleep on her dad's shoulder.

'Come on Princess, time for bed eh' Jeff said, shaking her gently to wake up.

'Hmm?' She mumbled, her eyes fluttering open.

'Time for bed' he said again.

'What time is it?' She asked, sitting up and stretching.

'Just gone ten'.

'Mmm ok' she replied beginning to stand up.

'You know we could barely hear the telly over your snoring' John teased.

'Shut up' she replied, turning to glare at him.

'Don't wind your sister up' Jeff responded, as Sophia leant down for a kiss goodnight.

'You know where I am if you need anything in the night' Jeff said as Sophia stood up straight again.

'Yeah' she replied, before saying goodnight to the others and heading up the stairs.

An hour later and John also felt tired.

'I think I'll head to bed' he said, standing up. 'Night'.

'Night' Dixie replied.

'Wait' Jeff said, 'I want a quick word'.

John just looked at him. He didn't know what he had done wrong, or what his dad could possibly want to talk about at that time of night.

'Don't worry, you're not in trouble' Jeff said, seeing the confusion on his face. Walking out of the lounge and closing the door behind them Jeff began to speak.

'Like I said to Sophia. You know where I am if you need me'.

'Why would I need you in the night. I'm not four'

'I know, but if you do. Or if you want something in the morning before we are up, don't be afraid to come and get me yeah?'. Jeff knew that John would be less comfortable than Sophia about entering the room he shared with Dixie so had wanted to discuss it before he went to bed.

'Dad I don't want to go into your bedroom, not when you're in bed with Dixie'.

'I know you don't like the idea, but I just want you to know that if you need anything don't hesitate'.

'No Dad, I'd rather wait. It's not like it's you and Mum in there'.

'I know, but don't worry, we won't be getting up to anything'.

'Ewww Dad! I don't want to think about that!' John replied, scrunching his face up.

Jeff just chuckled 'I know you don't. But all I'm saying is that I want you to feel comfortable in this house, all of it, so if you need something don't be afraid to come and get me like you used to ok?'

'Ok Dad' John replied, really just wanting this conversation to be over.

'Night John' Jeff said, pulling him in for a hug and kissing his head.

'Night Dad' John replied, returning the hug before pulling away and heading up the stairs to bed.

When Jeff returned to the lounge Dixie looked curious.

'What was all that about?' She asked.

'I just wanted to check that John would be ok. That if he needed anything he felt comfortable enough to come and get me'.

'And does he?'

'Not really, but I have tried to persuade him that it's ok to enter our room. I don't want him feeling that it is off limits to him. To be honest I think he just doesn't like the idea of seeing us two in bed, if it was just me he'd be fine'.

'That's understandable' Dixie replied, cuddling up to Jeff for the first time that evening.

'Yeah, it'll just take time I think' Jeff continued, pulling Dixie in close and enjoying the feeling of having all his family under the same roof for the night.

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Dixie awoke and looked around. It was still dark and Jeff was beside her in bed. Looking at the clock she saw that it was 3am. She didn't know what had woken her but as she laid there she began to here footsteps on the landing.

'Jeff' Dixie whispered in a panic.

'Jeff' she whispered louder, shaking him to wake up.

'What?' He mumbled.

'There's someone on the landing, and don't tell me it's Little Abs because I can hear the footsteps and it's not a dog!'

Jeff could hear the panic in her voice and knew she must have forgotten that the kids were there.

'Hey it's ok, it's just one of the kids getting a drink or going to the loo or something' Jeff said, rolling over to look at her properly.

'What?' She whispered, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

'Remember, John and Sophia are staying the night' Jeff replied, gently rubbing her arm.

Dixie began to cry 'I forgot...I thought that they had come back'.

'Come here Princess' Jeff said wrapping his arm around her and pulling her in for a cuddle as he rolled back onto his back, her head resting on his chest. 'They're in custody remember. They can't hurt you now. You're safe'.

'When will this nightmare end?' Dixie sobbed.

'Shhh it's ok, you're ok' Jeff soothed, worried about what had happened. She hadn't been so scared in a while and he thought that she had finally began to regain some of her old confidence, but this just showed how fragile she really was still. With the trial coming up he was scared that it might all send her back to square one.

Hearing the footsteps again Jeff looked up when he heard a knock on the door.

'Come in' he called quietly and the door began to open.

'Is everything ok?' Sophia asked, a worried tone to her voice.

'Yeah everything's fine sweetheart'.

Sophia looked at Dixie, hearing her quiet sobs. 'Why is she crying?'

'I'll explain in the morning' Jeff said gently, not wanting to have that conversation in the middle of the night. 'Go back to bed eh'.

Sophia just looked at them both for a couple more seconds 'ok' she said finally. 'Night'.

'Night Princess' Jeff replied, watching as the door closed.

'I'm going to have to tell them the truth' Jeff said to Dixie whilst rubbing her back.

'I know' she mumbled, her crying beginning to ease. 'Just do it without me'.

'Ok, if that's what you want' Jeff replied, kissing her head and wiping her tears away.

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The next morning, Jeff left Dixie to sleep whilst he went downstairs for breakfast. Hearing the TV he went into the lounge, seeing Sophia sitting in her pyjamas and eating cereal.

'Morning Princess' Jeff said from just inside the doorway.

'Morning Dad' she replied through a mouth full of food. 'Is Dixie ok now?'

'Yeah she's asleep. If you give me a few minutes I'll go and get John and then we need a chat'.

'About what happened last night?'

'Yeah and some other stuff as well'

'Ok' Sophia replied, looking concerned.

Ten minutes later Jeff came back downstairs with a grumpy John in tow.

'Still don't see why I needed to be woken up' he mumbled, slumping down onto the sofa next to his sister.

'Because I need to talk to you both about Dixie' Jeff responded switching the TV off and sitting down next to him.

'What about her?' John asked.

'She was crying in the night' Sophia piped up.

'Crying? Why?'.

'Well remember I told you that Dixie had been attacked?' Jeff said.

'Yeah'

'Well Dixie and I have agreed that it's time you guys knew the truth about exactly what happened'.

John and Sophia just looked at their dad, not knowing what to expect.

'Well...' Jeff paused briefly, 'she was raped'.

'Raped?!' Sophia exclaimed.

Jeff just nodded.

'What happened?' John asked.

'We got called to a shout and when we arrived there were two masked gunmen. It was a burglary gone wrong. The old lady got ill and so they'd called us out. After they got what they wanted they separated us and tied me up whilst they raped Dixie'.

'That's awful' Sophia said, feeling shocked.

'Why didn't you tell us before?' John asked, feeling even worse for the way he had treated her.

'Because at the time we weren't speaking'.

'Yeah but you could have told us since'.

'Dixie was dealing with it, and you didn't need to know the specific facts, well until last night'.

'So what happened last night exactly?' John asked.

'Dixie woke up and heard Sophia moving around on the landing. She'd forgotten that you guys were staying the night and thought that the attackers had come back'.

'I'm sorry Dad' Sophia said, feeling upset that she had scared Dixie so badly.

'It's not your fault Princess, it's happened before, sometimes things just frighten her. She has nightmares occasionally and sometimes things will remind her of what happened but she's getting better slowly'.

'Have they been caught?' John questioned.

'Yes, there is strong evidence against them and the trial is coming up soon so Dixie might be a bit more fragile for a little while, but you guys shouldn't notice the difference. I'm sure she'd rather you just treated her like normal'.

'Ok' Sophia said. She liked Dixie and couldn't believe what they had done to her. John just sat quietly, taking everything in.

Hearing footsteps Jeff looked up to see Dixie come down the stairs before heading in the direction of the kitchen.

Standing up, he left the kids on the sofa and made his way into the kitchen.

'I've told them' he said, watching Dixie put some bread into the toaster.

Dixie just nodded, not knowing what to say. It was a relief it was all out in the open but she was worried as to how they would react.

Just then Sophia arrived in the doorway with John right behind her.

'I'm sorry for last night' Sophia said walking up to her and giving her a hug.

'That's ok sweetheart. It's not your fault' Dixie replied hugging her back.

'Are you ok?' John asked.

'Yeah I'm fine now, your dad's always been there to look after me'.

'Will you get scared everytime?' Sophia asked, stepping out of the hug.

'No, I'm just not used to having more people in the house. I'll get used to it, don't worry about me'.

'But what happens if we scare you accidentally when Dad isn't around?' John asked.

'Then I'll cope. Honestly, last night was a one off, I have been a lot less jumpy recently'.

'That's right' Jeff replied. 'You don't have to worry, she's a tough old bird really'.

'Less of the old!' Dixie smiled, attempting to swat him with the tea towel.

'You can't hit me, I'm disabled'.

'I'll break your other ankle if you don't shut up' Dixie laughed, the kids smiling too, pleased that Jeff had lightened the mood.


	21. Chapter 21

**Note: thanks for the review, and to those who read :)**

As the next couple of weeks passed Jeff noticed a change in Dixie. She was becoming more absent minded, her thoughts turning towards the trial. Her nightmares had increased, although they weren't the usual ones, these ones were based on the trial itself and the gunmen being freed.

On the morning that the trial began Jeff and Dixie left the house ready to go to court. Jeff had tried to persuade Dixie not to go. She was not needed to give evidence and he didn't want her having to sit see them again, let alone revive everything that had happened. Dixie however had been adamant that she want to attend, she thought it might help her properly come to terms with everything, even if it was painful.

Arriving at the courthouse they were shown into a small room with a television in it. Dixie hadn't wanted to be in the same room as the men, so sitting down with Jeff by her side she waited for it all to begin.

As the morning progressed evidence was shown and the first gunman was questioned. Describing the burglary and the need to call the ambulance the gunman was soon questioned about the attack on Dixie.

'Please describe in your own words exactly what happened between you and Mrs Collier' the barrister began.

Dixie held Jeff's hand even tighter, Jeff wrapping his other arm around her. He might not have been able to protect her then, but he could hold her now. They both knew that the gunmen would admit to the rape, after all there was so much evidence they had no choice but to plead guilty. They were however worried that the gunmen might try to show remorse to get their sentences reduced.

The gunman had paused for a few moments before beginning to speak.

'After we had got the money from the safe we separated the paramedics, didn't want him getting in the way'

'You mean Mr Collier?'

'Yeah'

'And how did you separate Mr Collier from Mrs Collier?'

'By gun point. He was led outside onto the landing and then his hands were tied to the radiator with plastic ties'.

'Is it true that in this position you later kicked him?'

'Yes'

'Why did you feel the need to kick him when he was unable to defend himself?'

'To remind him who was boss. He was getting a bit gobby you see'

'What did he say?'

'Not to touch a single hair on her head'.

'And you didn't like this?'

'No, I thought I'd wind him up, get her naked and show him what we were going to do to his precious wife'.

'And did you know at this point that she was a lesbian? That she had never slept with a man in her life? That their marriage was purely emotional?'

'No'

'So by stripping Mrs Collier naked and showing her off to Mr Collier, you were not only stripping her of her clothes but also her dignity as he had never seen her naked before. You also removed her choice to never sleep with a man. How does this make you feel?'

'I wish it had never happened. I instantly regretted what I had done' the gunman said, hanging his head.

'Liar' Jeff said angrily, holding Dixie even tighter.

Dixie had not taken her eyes off the screen during the whole proceedings, her eyes fixed to the man that had attacked her. Now however they were beginning to blur with the tears that were beginning to spill. She was glad that Jeff was by her side, making her feel safe. She felt him kiss her head as the rape was described in detail, photos of her cuts and bruises shown. Then the court was cleared. Cleared of all public spectators and non essential people. Cleared because the hidden camera footage that was to play such a key part in this trial was about to be shown.

'Do you want to turn the monitor off for a moment?' Jeff asked, not sure that she should experience the attack all over again.

'No, but you can go outside if you want' Dixie replied wiping her eyes, knowing that it would be tough for Jeff to watch. He had only heard it the first time - this would be matching the screaming that he remembered to the sight of his wife being hurt.

'No Dix, I couldn't be with you then but I'm not leaving you now' Jeff said holding her close and planting another kiss on her head.

As the footage was shown Jeff watched as his wife stripped at gun point. He watched her climb onto the bed and saw the gunman crawling on top of her, forcibly spreading her legs and grabbing hold of her arms. He watched as the silent footage showed the screaming that he remembered. Reading her lips, he could match the image he could see with the 'NO' that he could remember her screaming over and over again. He could remember the sound of his name being screamed, the name that he could now see on her lips. He watched as the man forced himself into her and roughly raped her, all the time her face showing the pain and fear that she was experiencing.

Tears began to fall from Jeff's eyes. Seeing what they were doing to his beautiful wife, his kind, innocent, amazing wife broke his heart, and he was reminded of how grateful he was that he had been there, to hold her, dress her and care for her during her darkest hour.

Dixie looked up when she heard Jeff's cries.

'Come here' she said, pulling him in close, both holding each other as tight as they possibly could, rivers of tears running down each of their faces.

'I'm sorry I couldn't stop them' he muttered into her shoulder.

'You did everything you could. Your voice was the only thing that got me through it. Hearing you, knowing I wasn't alone, it helped'.

'I didn't know if you could hear me or not'.

Dixie pulled back, quickly wiping away her tears before gently wiping away Jeff's. 'I could, and it meant more to me than you will ever possibly know'. Jeff just smiled at her before looking back at the screen. Seeing that the second gunman was about to take his turn raping Dixie Jeff turned away and took his wife's face in his hands, slowly leaning in and gently kissing her lips.

'I hate everything they did to you' Jeff said simply, another tear escaping.

'But that doesn't mean you have to hate yourself. You didn't let them do it, they held a gun to you. I would rather you were alive to help me through it than being killed for some sort of heroics that probably wouldn't have made any difference anyway. Whatever way you look at it, I needed you and you were there. Don't cry handsome' Dixie finished, wiping his cheek with her thumb.

'I'm sorry, it should be me comforting you' Jeff replied, wiping his face with his hands, trying to compose himself.

'No, you have held me so much when I have been scared or upset. It is my turn to care for you. We're a team remember'. After she said this, Dixie pulled Jeff in for another hug, gently stroking the back of his head with her hand whilst whispering how much she loved him into his ear. If he was in pain or upset about what had happened then she wanted to know. She wanted to comfort and protect him the way that he did her.

'It just hurts you know. Every time you get scared, every time you cry, it hurts. It reminds me of everything they did to you. It's like the college shooting all over again - me just sitting there doing nothing to stop it, just picking up the pieces afterwards'.

'Jeff you can't keep blaming yourself. You couldn't have saved them, you couldn't have protected me. Would you blame me if it was the other way around'.

'That's different'.

'Would you blame me?!'

'You know I wouldn't'.

'Then don't blame yourself'.

Jeff just shook his head gently.

'I mean it. Look, look at the footage, tell me what you could have done to help'.

The court was now being shown the aftermath of the rape. Dixie crawling about on her hands and knees, all the while following Jeff's instructions.

'You were tied up. I had to cut you free. If you could have stopped them then I know you would have. But you couldn't, and this is proof of that so stop blaming yourself. You were the one who got me through it. You were the one who helped me get the scissors to cut us free. You were the one who dressed me when I couldn't dress my self. You did all these things because you could, because you needed to, so I know that if there was any way that you could have stopped them then you would have'.

Jeff just looked at her. He knew what she was saying made sense. Watching the footage he saw that all his 'ifs' and 'maybes' came to nothing. There really was nothing he could have done. He'd just needed Dixie to help him see that.

Dixie saw the realisation in his eyes. She saw that he finally believed her. 'Come here handsome' she said, wrapping her arms around him, feeling his head lower into the crook of her neck. She knew that Jeff had been the strong one for far too long and now it was time for him to be listened to and reassured, to be made to feel loved and protected and she felt honoured to be able to do that for him like he had done for her so many times before.

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As the day passed, Jeff and Dixie stayed in that small room watching the trial unfold. There had been times when they cried, times when Jeff got angry and times when they smiled at their barristers line of questioning. By the end of the day they were both feeling drained and made their way home in silence.

Laying in bed that night, Dixie looked into Jeff's eyes and began to speak.

'I've been thinking' she said slowly.

'About what?'.

'Us...the gunmen'.

'What about us and the gunmen?'.

'Well I think I might be ready to sleep with you'.

'What?' Jeff asked, not quite believing what she was saying.

'Not tonight, we're both too tired, but soon. I want to do it when I can still see them in court. I want to be able to look at them and know that they haven't won, that they haven't destroyed me'.

'Dix' Jeff started, looking deep into her eyes. 'Don't do it too soon. Don't let them push you into doing it. I want to make love to you when YOU are ready, not because you want to prove a point'.

'I know, but I think that it might help. You know, show me that I'm in control not them'.

Jeff was worried. He knew that if that was what she really wanted then he couldn't say no, he couldn't take that choice away from her. He didn't want her to feel like he was rejecting her, but he still feared that it was too soon. That she wasn't ready. He feared that if she couldn't do it then it would knock her confidence even further, make her feel that they had won, and instead of looking at them and thinking that she was in control, all she would really feel would be self loathing and a fear that she might never be ready.

'Princess I'll support you whatever you decide, but to be honest I'm really worried it's too soon. What if you try and just can't face it. How will you feel then?' Jeff had to tell her the truth, he wanted no secrets between them on this.

'I know, but what if I can and I don't'.

'Dix, you're making this sound like a chore. I know you want to do this but surely you should be doing it because you want to sleep with me, not because you want to prove something to them'.

'I do want to sleep with you. I want to love you like a wife should, but I also want to prove to them and myself that I can'.

'And you want our first time to be about them?' Jeff knew it sounded harsh but he wanted to make love to her because she wanted it too, not because she felt she had to.

'No of course I don't. That's not what I meant'.

'Well then wait, until you're truly sure that you're ready'.

'I can't do that Jeff. I need closure. Please'.

Jeff just looked at her in the darkness. He knew that he had to let her try because if he didn't she would regret it for the rest of her life. But he also knew that he would have to be prepared to hold her, love her and comfort her if it all went wrong.

'Ok' he said quietly.

'Thank you' she replied, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before pulling back, taking his hand in hers and closing her eyes.

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A couple of days later, Dixie lay in bed in the early morning light, looking at her husband.

Hearing their pre alarm go off Jeff woke up.

'Morning sweetheart' Dixie said, as Jeff leant over and switched it off.

'Morning' he said, closing his eyes. The next alarm was set for thirty minutes time and the final one in an hour, just enough time to have a bit more kip.

'Today's the day' Dixie said quietly, looking at Jeff's face on the pillow next to her.

'For what?' He mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

'For us to try sleeping together'.

'I am trying to sleep' Jeff complained, not wanting to get into that conversation again.

'Jeff be serious'.

Jeff opened his eyes and turned his head to look at his wife. 'I'm not sure'.

'Please. Before we go to court this morning. We have an hour'.

'I don't want to do it against the clock. Let's do it tonight eh?'.

'Well then let's turn all the alarms off, turn the clock around and just enjoy ourselves. We can get to court a bit late if necessary'.

Jeff knew that he couldn't change her mind. Leaning over he turned all the alarms off on his phone and turned the clock to face the wall.

'Are you sure?' He asked.

'Yes' Dixie replied.

Pushing the duvet aside, Jeff turned and leant over Dixie, kissing her slowly whilst putting his hand under her top and feeling her breasts. Dixie responded in turn, gently lifting his t-shirt up his back and over his head, breaking the kiss.

Sitting up Dixie took off her own pyjama top before shuffling out of her bottoms and helping Jeff out of his.

Reaching her hand down, she gently wrapped it around his penis and began to move it up and down, coaxing him to life.

'You're getting good at that' Jeff said, starting to get in the mood before lowering his own hand in between her legs.

'You're not too bad yourself' Dixie said, beginning to enjoy the movement of his fingers.

After nearly ten minutes of preparation Jeff knew that by the sound of Dixie's soft moans as well as being able to feel that she was well lubricated, they were both physically ready to move on.

After enjoying Dixie's hand on him for a couple more seconds Jeff let out a low groan before removing it.

'Are you sure Dix?' He asked, holding her hand and looking her deep in the eyes.

'Yes' she responded.

'Tell me if you want to stop or you are uncomfortable in any way' he said, trying to reassure her.

'I will' she replied, beginning to feel a little bit nervous.

Opening his bedside drawer, Jeff pulled out the packet of condoms he had left over from his relationship with Mel. Taking one out, he unwrapped it before putting it on and looking back at Dixie.

'How do you want to do this?' He asked.

'I don't really know what I'm doing from now on so how about you take the lead. You go on top, if you can with the cast'.

'Ok' Jeff said, moving in between her legs. Leaning down he kissed her gently before, pulling back and stroking her cheek. Taking his penis her gently guided it to her opening and began to very slowly push inside, never taking his eyes off her face.

'Are you ok?' He asked, watching her begin to breath deeply.

'Yes, keep going'.

Jeff did as he was told until he was fully inside her, pausing to let her adjust.

Dixie hadn't known what to expect, but it was more painful than she had thought it would be. She remembered the feeling of being filled from last time, and remembered the weight of having a man on top of her. Her mind was racing, flicking between the horrible familiarity of what was happening and the knowledge that it was Jeff and that she was safe.

'Give me a moment' she said, her hand taking his arm, wanting to feel, see and hear as much of Jeff as possible. She didn't want to forget for even a second where she was or who she was with.

'If you want to stop-' Jeff began.

'No' Dixie cut in, she could do this, she knew she could.

'Dix' Jeff said gently.

'No I'm fine, I'm ready' Dixie replied, trying to persuade him.

Jeff wasn't convinced but if she said she wanted to continue then he didn't feel like there was much that he could do. He didn't want to stop her after how brave she had been so far.

Pulling back slowly he began to thrust gently, enjoying the feeling of being inside his wife. Never taking his eyes off hers, he watched for any indication that she might want to stop. After a few minutes though he began to relax and set a slow but steady rhythm. Moaning gently, he closed his eyes as he enjoyed the sensations running through his body.

Dixie looked up at Jeff, she knew how gentle he was being but even so, it was difficult for her to stand. She was growing used to the feeling of him inside her, but feeling his weight above her, the breath on her face, was all becoming too much. The memories were flooding back quickly and although she knew it was Jeff, her mind was screaming to stop, to get away. Hearing him moan she could tell he was enjoying it, she could see the pleasure on his face, and although she tried to look relaxed, inside she wanted nothing more than to ask him to stop.

'Please stop please stop please stop' she silently begged, hoping he would finish soon. She wanted to push him off, kick him away, she was beginning to panic and she didn't know what to do. She was beginning to lose her sense of reality, her mind flashing back to images of the men on top of her. A tear sliding down her face she became too scared to speak, she couldn't trust her voice and she was frightened that Jeff wouldn't hear her, or that he couldn't stop if the did.

Terrified, Dixie lifted her hands and began to push hard at Jeff's chest, her legs writhing around as she tried to break free, just wanting to get him off.

Opening his eyes Jeff could see and feel the panic in Dixie and pulled out immediately, climbing off as fast as he could.

Dixie leapt off the bed and ran out of the room, not sure where she was going but just knowing that she had to get away.

'Shit' Jeff said to himself, lying back on the bed, hands covering his face. Sitting up he knew that he had to find her, but that he also had to be cautious. He didn't know what she was thinking or where her mind was. He didn't know if she would welcome his comfort or if his presence would scare her even more.

Rolling off the condom, he put his t-shirt and pyjama bottoms back on. He was worried that his nakedness might scare her and figured that she would feel safer if they were both clothed.

Picking up her pyjamas, he grabbed his crutches and walked out onto the landing. Hearing movement downstairs, he slowly headed down, not wanting to do anything that might scare her. Realising that the sound was coming from the lounge Jeff walked up to the closed door and knocked.

On hearing no answer Jeff began to speak. 'Dix, can I come in?'.

He was tempted to open the door himself, but knew that Dixie was scared and that he had to respect all of her boundaries, including a closed door. After all, if being in there alone made her feel safe then that is how it would stay until she said otherwise.

'Dix please. I'm not angry Princess. I just want to check that you're ok'.

Dixie stood in the lounge, tears slipping down her face, in front of the sofa that she had slid against the door to stop him getting in if he tried.

She knew that he wouldn't hurt her but at the minute her mind wouldn't let her believe it. She was petrified and the fear that she had felt when she entered the room was the same as that of being chased. The feeling that she might get caught at any second and that she had to work as fast as she could to stop him following her in. Ultimately, her survival instincts had taken over.

'Please don't try to come in' she begged, her heart pounding, and her body shaking. She was worried that the sofa wouldn't be heavy enough and was prepared to use her full force to keep it in position if Jeff tried to enter.

'Ok I won't, I promise' Jeff said, hearing the fear in her voice. 'But can I talk to you through the door?'.

Dixie didn't answer. She just stood there crying feeling so scared and so alone.

Jeff took the silence as permission and began to try and reassure her.

'I'm not angry, I don't want to hurt you. I just want to know that you're ok. I know you're scared but remember where you are. You're safe. It's just you, me and Little Abs. No-one will harm you here'.

Dixie listened to his voice, it was the same one he had used after the attack. Soft and reassuring.

'Can you tell me if you're hurt?' Jeff asked, praying that he hadn't accidentally harmed her in any way.

Dixie just looked down at herself. Physically she was fine. Although it had initially hurt, Jeff hadn't hurt her. He had been very careful, very gentle.

'No, I'm not hurt' Dixie said quietly.

Jeff let out the breath that he had been holding, he would never have forgiven himself if he had damaged her in any way.

'Ok, that's good' he replied, before continuing. 'I have your pyjamas here when you're ready. I am wearing mine too. I promise you, I just want to check that you're ok. I won't touch you if you don't want me to'.

Dixie listened to his voice. She knew it was a voice she could trust. She was scared but she knew if anyone could make her feel safe it was Jeff. Slowly, she began to push the sofa back to its original position before walking up to the door and tentatively opening it to see Jeff on the other side, pyjamas in hand.

'Hello Princess' Jeff smiled softly, whilst taking in her tear stained face and shaking body. His heart was breaking but he knew that he couldn't let that show. He had to be strong for her, had to act as if everything was ok.

'Would you like your pyjamas?' he asked.

Dixie nodded and took them from him before closing the door and putting them on. Realistically she knew that Jeff wouldn't hurt her, and yet in her current state she was too scared to put them on in front of him, fearing that if she took her eyes off him for one second, he might try and touch or grab her.

When she had dressed she opened the door again.

'Can I come in?' Jeff asked quietly.

Dixie nodded and moved out of the way.

Entering the room, Jeff decided that she might feel more comfortable if he was sitting down. He was already less mobile due to his cast and figured that if he was sitting down Dixie would feel safer knowing that she could get away at any moment without him having time to stop her.

Going to sit on the old two seater, Jeff noticed that Dixie never took her eyes off of him. This fear and lack of trust hurt him more than she would ever know but he could also understand it. She was scared and although it hadn't been him who raped her, it was him who had reminded her of them. Him who had been sleeping with her until just a short while ago, and as far as she was probably concerned, it was him who for all she knew could still be in the mood and might want to try it on.

For Jeff though it felt like he had raped her, he had put her in this state, the worst since the attack itself and although it was her that had wanted to go through with it, it was him that she was now scared of.

'You know I just want to make sure that you're ok, don't you?' Jeff asked, looking up at her standing a few metres away.

'Yes' she whispered through the tears.

'Can you tell me what happened?' He asked gently.

'I got scared'.

'Was it something I did?'

'No'.

'Then what happened Princess? Why did you get scared?'.

'It just all felt too familiar. Your weight on me and your breath on my face. I started to get confused. I began to forget...' Dixie started sobbing and Jeff wanted nothing more to take her in his arms like he had done so many times before, but he knew that he couldn't.

'You began to forget that it was me?'

Dixie nodded, looking at him through her tears. She needed to be held and although she was still scared she knew she could trust Jeff. She had crumbled in his arms many times before and she knew that if she let him, he would hold her until she was soothed.

Tentatively walking forward, Dixie sat down on the sofa next to Jeff and began to lean against him.

'Can I hold you?' He asked, wanting to gain her permission before touching her.

'Please' she cried, and within a flash Jeff had his arms around her and her head against his chest.

'Shhh. It's ok, you're ok' he soothed, rubbing her back with his hand, his head leaning against the top of hers, a few small tears beginning to trickle from his own eyes.

'I'm sorry' she cried, her hands clinging to his t-shirt.

'You have nothing to be sorry about' he said, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head.

He knew he should have refused, made her wait, but he also knew that whatever he had said or done, she would always have wanted to try.

'I thought I could do it' she wept, her body shaking.

'I know you did. But this doesn't mean you can't. It just means not yet' Jeff said, trying to console her. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel like a failure.

'But what if I forget it's you again. What if I can never manage it' she cried desperately.

'Well next time you can try going on top, it will be different that way and might not feel so similar. You will be in total control and hopefully it will provide you with good memories'.

'But what if it doesn't? What if I'm still reminded of them?'.

'Then I will hold you like I am now, and when you feel ready we'll try another way. Dix, we'll keep trying until you manage it or until you want to stop. You are already comfortable with me touching you and you touching me, so if that's as far as we can ever get then that's fine by me. It's still making love, just in a different way'.

Dixie began to calm down, and relaxed into Jeff.

Jeff was curious as to why she had let it get that far if she wasn't enjoying it. He had told her to tell him if she felt uncomfortable and couldn't understand why she hadn't. Waiting until she stopped crying, Jeff began to speak.

'Dixie, why didn't you tell me to stop?'.

Not wanting to look at him, Dixie spoke into his chest. 'Because I thought that I could do it and I could see that you were enjoying it. I was worried that I had let you get too far and that you wouldn't be able to'.

Jeff let out a sad sigh and tilted her head to face him. 'You must tell me to stop as soon as you become uncomfortable. I don't care how much I'm enjoying it, I could never enjoy it if I thought that you weren't. And as for thinking that I wouldn't be able to stop, I'm not them Dix. If you tell me to stop then I will, I thought you knew that by now. I don't care if I'm about to orgasm, or actually am for that matter, as soon as you tell me to stop I will, please don't ever forget that'.

Dixie leant up and kissed him gently on the lips, feeling Jeff wipe the old tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

'Thank you. I love you' she said, putting her arms around him for a hug.

'I love you too' Jeff replied, holding his fragile wife so tightly.

When Dixie pulled back Jeff began to question her again, wanting to find out exactly where her boundaries had been.

'At what point did you start feeling uncomfortable Princess?'.

'It was a bit painful when you first entered me, but I think that was just lack of experience. It all started to feel a bit too familiar then as well, but I got used to it, it was you actually being on top of me that scared me the most, that was the biggest reminder.

Jeff thought for a moment. 'Ok well because I'm the first bloke you've ever had sex with it's going to be a little bit painful, after all, for all intents and purposes you're still a virgin, even if you have enjoyed a bountiful sex life with some of the ladies on this planet'.

Dixie smiled, Jeff really did have a way with words!

Jeff saw Dixie's face light up a little, and was pleased that he had managed to cheer her up a bit. 'Seriously though Dix, don't put too much pressure on yourself, we'll get there and next time you can be on top. You've been through so much and I'm so proud of how brave you've been, but just remember you're a virgin, and a raped virgin at that. This is going to take time'.

Dixie knew that what he was saying was true. 'I'm sorry for the way I pushed you off and the fact that you didn't get to finish off' she said, knowing that horrible feeling of being interrupted half way through.

'It's fine Dix, I'm glad you did, just next time don't leave it so long eh. Like I said, making love isn't only about the actual intercourse. We can always take it slowly, try it for a bit and then when you feel like you've had enough we can go back to making love with our hands instead'.

'Thank you'.

'Don't thank me, I'm after any excuse to keep trying, after all the more we try, the more fun we get to have' he winked.

Dixie chuckled, she knew he was trying to make her feel better and it was working. He really was a lovely man!


	22. Chapter 22

Note: thanks for reading and reviewing. Hopefully this will explain a little bit more of Jeff's actions/feelings towards their failed love attempt that morning.

After the events of that morning, Jeff and Dixie had decided to skip court, instead preferring to relax and forget about everything just for one day.

That evening they joined their friends at the pub and tried to act as if everything was ok.

'You look tired' Charlie said, sitting down next to Jeff, arriving in the pub after his shift.

'I feel it' Jeff replied, looking across at Dixie who was happily chatting away to Rita.

'Is it the trial?' Charlie asked.

'Yeah, amongst other stuff'.

'You want to talk about it?'.

'I dunno. I'd kind of feel like I was betraying her if I did', Jeff replied, taking his eyes off Dixie.

'It's up to you, but sometimes it can help to talk it through with someone more distanced from the situation'.

'I know, but it's quite sensitive stuff. I'm not sure how she'd feel about it'.

'Have you tried talking to her about everything then, whatever it is?'.

'Yes and no. I have listened to her, but I haven't told her how I feel. I wouldn't want to hurt her'.

'Well it sounds to me like whatever it is is eating you up inside, and if you don't sort it out you will hurt her, one way or another'.

Jeff thought for a moment. He knew Charlie was right. 'Fancy a walk?'.

'Why not' Charlie replied, grabbing his coat.

As they were leaving the pub Jeff hobbled up to Dixie and leant down. 'I'm just going for a walk, shan't be too long' he said quietly.

'Ok' Dixie replied, looking curiously at him. She knew he was probably going for a chat and could easily guess what he would be discussing. She didn't like the idea of everyone knowing their business, but if Jeff needed to talk, then she would rather he did that than bottle everything up. After all, there were times when he just couldn't be strong enough for the both of them.

As they left the pub Charlie and Jeff walked along in silence for a few moments, Charlie happy to wait until Jeff was ready to speak.

Turning the corner Jeff was unsure of what to say, but knew he had to start talking, just get everything off his chest.

'Dixie and I tried sleeping together' He said, glad that he had got it out.

'By tried you mean...'

'It was horrible. Well it wasn't, but it ended horribly'.

'Do you want to tell me what happened?'.

'She got scared, the worst she has been since the attack. I knew it was too soon, I just wish I had never agreed'.

'You must have had your reasons'.

'I did. I tried putting it off, but she was insistent. She said she wanted to be able to look at them in court and know that they hadn't destroyed her. I didn't feel like I could refuse, she was so sure that she wanted to be able to face them like that, that I agreed. The last time I refused it really upset her, made her feel like I didn't want her'.

'But what you want is also important. Yes she was attacked, but you are an equal in this relationship too'.

'I know, but right now I have to put her first and she wanted to try so we did'.

'What happened then to make it end so horribly?' Charlie asked as they reached a bench and sat down, giving Jeff's leg a rest.

'Well I told her to tell me if she became uncomfortable, I tried to watch too but I just didn't spot it. I thought she was ok'.

'And she wasn't?'

'She was petrified. The first I knew that she wasn't ok was when she was pushing me off and running out of the room. She hadn't told me to stop at all. She just let me continue. Then when I found her she was so scared of me that she had put the sofa in front of the lounge door so that I couldn't get in. I felt like a rapist myself'.

'If she didn't tell you, then it wasn't your fault'.

'You didn't see her. She was petrified. Of me! I've seen her scared before, scared of her nightmares, scared from shocks, but never scared of me. I was the one person she trusted. It really hurt you know'.

Jeff put his head in his hands and started to cry.

'She knows you wouldn't hurt her. Maybe she just forgot that in the middle of everything.

'She forgot it was me sleeping with her. But it was still me, even when she was uncomfortable and she didn't stop me, it was still me. Doing to her what they did, making her feel how they did'.

'That does not make you a rapist. You should tell her how you felt. I'm sure she doesn't want you to feel like that'.

Jeff looked at Charlie, wiping his tears away.

'I know she wouldn't, but she didn't stop me. I swore that I would protect her and I didn't, I harmed her'.

'You said yourself she wanted to try, you can't be blamed for that. I'm sure you did everything you could to make her as comfortable as possible. If she didn't tell you to stop, if she didn't give you any sign that everything wasn't ok then you can't blame yourself. Go back to the pub, take her home and talk to her. She's not the only one that needs someone to listen'.

Jeff breathed out deeply, he knew that it was important to be honest with her.

'I don't want to upset her though, if she knew that this was how I felt-'

'Then she would want to comfort you like I'm sure you comforted her. Jeff, I know Dixie, and I know she wouldn't want you to feel like this. She'd want you to tell her'.

Jeff knew that what Charlie was saying was true. 'Ok' he replied, standing up and leading them back to the pub. Getting out his phone he began to ring Dixie, not wanting to go inside and face everyone with his red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

'Thanks for the chat' Jeff said to Charlie as he headed inside.

'Anytime' Charlie replied, and with that he closed the door behind him.

As the phone rang Jeff was unsure of what he was going to say to Dixie. They hadn't been there long and he knew how much she enjoyed getting to catch up with their friends.

'Where are you?' Dixie asked when she answered the call.

'Outside. We need to go home'.

'Why?'

'Because we need to chat'.

'Well can't you come in here and do it'.

'Dixie please, for once in your life just do as I ask'. Jeff knew it sounded harsh but he really wasn't in the mood for debating it and he didn't like standing about in public when he'd quite obviously been crying.

'Ok, I'll be out in a minute' she said sounding worried.

As Jeff put the phone down he leant against the wall of the pub, and let out a deep breath. Today had been really emotional for both of them and it was only going to get more so.

After a couple of minutes Dixie arrived outside.

'Ok I'm-' Dixie started to speak but on noticing Jeff's face her thoughts changed. 'Have you been crying?'.

'Can we please just get in the car'.

'Answer me'.

'Yes, now please unlock it'.

Dixie did as asked and after she had helped him in and put his crutches in the back she got in herself.

'Why were you crying?' She asked gently.

'Can we talk about this at home'.

'I want to know' she persisted.

'And you will, but not here. Not now'.

Dixie looked across at her husband. She was worried. She didn't know what was going through his mind and because of this, her own was working overtime.

'Are you leaving me?' She asked, she couldn't think of anything else that would leave him in this state and she really wouldn't blame him after all that he had been through with her.

'No. It's nothing like that' Jeff replied quickly and saw her visibly relax. 'I promise I'll tell you when we get home, I just don't want this conversation here'.

'Ok' Dixie agreed, figuring the sooner they left, the sooner she would know. Putting the key in the ignition, she started the car and drove them home in an awkward silence.

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Arriving at their house, Dixie went into the kitchen to put the kettle on followed by Jeff.

Waiting for the water to boil, Jeff sat down at the kitchen table and after the tea was made Dixie joined him.

'So what did you want to talk about?'

'This morning. What happened between us...How I feel about everything'.

'Ok', Dixie really wasn't sure what to expect.

'I'm not upset with you for getting scared, or for pushing me away, I understand that. I just wish you had stopped me earlier'.

'I thought I could do it and by the time I realised that I couldn't I thought it was too late'.

'I know'. Jeff knew he had to tell her exactly how he felt, but he didn't want to upset her and he knew that she would be.

'Then what else is there to talk about? We discussed all this this morning'.

'We need to talk about how it made me feel doing that to you when you didn't want it'.

'But you didn't know'.

'I know, but after I found out it felt like I'd...like I'd...' Jeff was struggling to say the words.

'Like you'd what?'

'Like I'd raped you'.

Dixie sat staring at him for a few moments in pure shock.

'I slept with you when you didn't want it and then you were so scared of me that you barricaded yourself in the lounge. You were petrified of me. Me! The one person that you have felt safe with right from the beginning. It really hurt Dix'.

'I'm so sorry, I never meant to make you feel that way! I always knew that you wouldn't hurt me, I was just scared of the situation. Of what you had reminded me of'.

'I know but I can't cope with that, cope with the idea that I've hurt you, that I've lost your trust'.

'You haven't. I still trust you, I was just scared, and you didn't hurt me. You were gentle, I couldn't have asked for anything more'. Dixie stood up and walked round the table to where Jeff was sitting.

'Can I sit down?'

Jeff moved his chair back slightly and Dixie sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

'Now listen to me. You are not like them. You did not do what they did. It was my fault and not yours. I always knew that I was safe with you, I never lost my trust in you, I just let my fear take over. I let myself forget who I was with, who you were, who you are. I promise I will never do that to you again'.

Jeff felt relieved, but there was still one thing he had to discuss. 'Do you mind me telling Charlie?'

'Did you feel like you could tell me?'

'No'.

'Then why would I mind. I love you and I know that sometimes this is too much for you to handle. I'm glad you've got him'.

Leaning down she kissed him gently, stroking his cheeks with her hands. 'You just remember Mr Collier, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me'.

'Thank you' Jeff said simply. Charlie had been helpful but he had needed to hear it all from her lips.

'Right, now that we've got that sorted, do you fancy a takeaway?'.

'Indian?' Jeff asked hopefully.

'You'll be lucky! I'll just grab the menu for the Chinese' Dixie said, standing up and walking to open the drawer where they were kept, laughing as she heard Jeff groan.


	23. Chapter 23

Note: apologies for the wait!

As the trial continued Jeff and Dixie attended each day, sitting in the small room and watching the monitor. Finally, the jury had been sent out to make their decision and Jeff and Dixie had headed off to grab a coffee. Within just one hour however Dixie was called to come back to the court as a decision had been reached.

'Not now' she said as Jeff began to walk in the direction of the room.

'Hu?'

'I want to sit in the court room, I want to watch them as the verdict is given'.

'Are you sure?'.

'Yes, I need to see this in person'.

'You're the boss' Jeff replied, taking her hand and walking towards the court room.

When the men were led in Dixie clutched Jeff's hand even tighter, but refused to show her fear in her expression.

Jeff just looked at the men, to him they weren't humans, they weren't even animals, they were nothing, and if it was down to him they would have a fate worse than death!

The first man up caught Dixie's eye and gave her a wink but she refused to be intimidated.

'Scum' she heard Jeff say.

'Don't let them get to you' she said clutching his hand even tighter. She knew Jeff and she knew how he got when he was angry, but today she needed him to keep calm, she needed his support.

'I hate them Dix'.

'So do I, but today we need to show that we are better than them, that we are over them. If we show them that they can still get to us then it's like they've won'.

'Yeah you're right. It's just the way they act, like they haven't got a care in the world. Like they want you to be in pain'.

'I know, but just remember we're going home at the end of all this. They're not'.

Jeff thought about that and realised that if nothing else would keep him calm then that would. Whatever was said, whatever they did, he would be going home with his fantastic wife, and they would be heading back to a cell.

As the judge entered and the jury were asked to deliver their verdicts, Jeff wrapped his arm around Dixie. He had always believed that they would be found guilty due to the indisputable evidence, as well as their pleas, but this was the crucial moment. The moment that their guilt would be set in stone and they would be out of their lives for good.

Waiting for the verdicts felt like a life time but finally they came.

'Guilty'.

Jeff pulled Dixie in tight and kissed the top of her head. Tuning everything else out Jeff briefly heard the verdict for the second man.

'Guilty'

Dixie sat in Jeff's tight hold, feel the safest she had in a long while. Finally it was over and she was free.

Everything passed by in a blur and Dixie briefly made out the sentences - 15 years for each man, for the rape and burglary at Grafton House, as well as the unlawful possession of firearms.

Gaining her focus again, Dixie listened to the judges final comments.

'The crimes you have both committed are truly vile. Not only have you petrified an elderly couple in their own home, who should have been able to live out their retirement in peace, you also viciously attacked the people that were called out to help them. You have drastically altered the lives of four innocent people and it is with great relief that I have been able to rid society of your presence. Your only redeeming features are that you both pleaded guilty to these charges which has spared Mrs Collier the ordeal of describing her attack to the court although this I believe was because of the mountain of evidence against you and as such this has not been taken into account in your sentencing'.

Dixie wanted to cry with relief but refused to do so in front of them. Instead she just sat in Jeff's arms, listening to his steady heart beating in his chest. She felt loved and protected, and knew that this result would help in her recovery. Feeling Jeff kiss her head again, she felt such a debt to the man that was her husband. He had married her as a favour, chosen her as a lover, and had carried her through all of this. She knew that she would have to do something extremely special to say thank you, although her words and actions could never be enough.

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That evening whilst Jeff was having a shower Dixie went upstairs and removed his mobile from his jean pocket.

Searching through the contacts Dixie found Mel's number and copied it into hers before replacing the phone and going back downstairs.

Walking into the lounge she closed the door behind her and sat down before dialing the number.

'Hello'.

'Hi Mel, it's Dixie, sorry to disturb you'.

'Hi Dixie, this is a surprise'.

'I was wondering if you could do me a favour'

'What kind of favour?'

'Well I know Jeff was planning a surprise party for me before he got hurt, I was just wondering if it was still going ahead?'

'I thought the idea was that it was a surprise?'

'Yeah I know, but I was just wondering if we could change it'.

'Oh don't you want one?'

'No it's not that, it's just that he has been so good to me recently that I kind of want it to be for him instead, to say thank you. At least that way it will be a surprise to someone!'

'Ok. Well I'll speak to my friend who's arranging it, see if she can sort it out'.

'Thanks. I don't suppose much will need to be changed, keep the same guests and everything, just make it all about him'.

'Ok, there are still a few things that need to be done, he hadn't decided on the cake yet but the DJs booked and the venue hired. Invitations have already been sent out'.

'Ok well can you get your friend to send me the list of people who are attending and I'll let them know the changes. In terms of the cake, I know he loves chocolate, so how about a nice big chocolate one, not too sickly though. Maybe in the shape of a motorbike or something, saying 'thank you for everything'.

'Ok, let me just grab a pen'.

After a few moments Mel was ready to continue.

'Ok, what else?'.

'Maybe a banner saying thank you or something, basically I just want it to be about him'.

'What do you want me to tell him when he lets me know about the cake and stuff?'

'Umm just accept what he asks you to do, but obviously don't bother doing it. Oh and maybe say that the venue has double booked, but we can use it the day after. I want the party to be a real surprise for him. Tell him they will give him a discount as a sign of good will, that should keep him happy. When and where is it by the way?'

'In two Saturdays time. 8 o'clock at the Hampton Hotel. They have a small hall at the back with a bar that Jeff's booked'.

'Perfect, there's an Indian behind it so I can get him in there for a meal whilst everyone arrives and then suggest going into the hotel for a quick drink afterwards. Thanks for this Mel'.

'No problem. Just let me know if there's anything else you need'.

'Will do, night'.

'Night'.

Dixie put the phone down feeling rather pleased with herself. All she needed to do now was buy him a gift, something that he would really appreciate.

Hearing movement on the stairs she knew that now wasn't the time to decide, and as the door opened Dixie looked up, trying to hide the big smile on her face.

'What are you looking so pleased about?' Jeff asked coming to sit beside her.

'Just today. I'm glad that it's all over'.

'You and me both Princess. Nothing beats knowing that that scum are finally locked away for good'.

'How about an Indian to celebrate?'

'Indian?'

'Yeah, just as a little thank you for sticking by me'.

'Well I shan't say no to that'.

Dixie smiled again, seeing Jeff happy made her happy, and it was about time they got some happiness in their lives.

xxxxxxxx

Over the week Dixie sorted out the rest of the party as well as phoning Jeff's kids and telling them the secret, arranging for them to come and stay that weekend however by the following Saturday she was still at a loss as to what to buy him.

'Why don't you take him on holiday?' Rita suggested down the phone.

'I don't think he'd be able to make the most of it with his ankle as it is and anyway, it's a bit short notice'.

'Well you don't have to take him yet, just book it. That way you can give his ankle a chance to heal as well as having a special present for him. After all, it's about time you two got away from everything for a while'. Dixie thought about this. A holiday would be nice.

'You know what, maybe your right'.

'Yeah and you could just give him the documents at the party'.

'Thanks mate'

'No probs, anyway I'd better go, my breaks just about over'.

'Ok, bye'.

Dixie gave Little Abs lead a tug and continued on their walk. Thinking about places they could go, Dixie had settled on Scotland by the time she arrived back home, all she had to do now was book it.

Seeing Jeff watching the racing on TV, Dixie grabbed the laptop and went into the kitchen to do a bit of research.

She wanted to stay somewhere cosy and private not a big hotel. After about ten minutes she came a cross a site that rented out holiday cottages.

'That's more like it' she said quietly, scrolling through the ones available in Scotland.

Looking at the list there were a variety of places available, old and new, big and small.

'Ooo what's this' she muttered seeing a small little house with ivy growing up the front. Beginning to read the description she smiled.

'Two storey, single bedroom cottage, with an open plan ground floor comprising a traditional looking kitchen and cosy lounge with authentic fire place. Good location for hill walking and country trails whilst only an hours drive from Edinburgh'.

'Perfect' Dixie grinned, looking up the available dates. Searching a few months ahead when Jeff would be out of his cast and hopefully back to normal, Dixie grabbed her credit card and booked four nights away, before sending the document to print and deleting her search history.

Rushing into the lounge she grabbed the paper from the printer before Jeff could see it, however she needn't have worried as he was so engrossed in the racing that he barely noticed.

Heading upstairs she went into their bedroom and opened her underwear draw, searching through it to find the thank you card she had hidden underneath. Pulling it out she collected a pen from her bedside cabinet and began to write the card.

'Jeff, I will never be able to repay you for all that you have ever done for me. I just hope this shows how much I appreciate it. Dixie'.

Folding the print out she put it into the card before placing it in the envelope and sealing it shut. Putting it back in the drawer, she covered it with underwear and then slid the drawer shut, before heading back downstairs.

xxxxxxxx

Jeff rolled over in bed and looked at Dixie. He was still disappointed that the party had had to be delayed by a day but knew that there wasn't much he could do about it, except spoil her rotten until then.

Leaning forward he softly kissed her lips before pulling back and watching her eyes open.

'Happy birthday Princess'.

'Thank you' Dixie smiled before continuing 'where's my present?'.

Jeff chuckled, typical Dixie!

'Give me a chance, I've only just woken up myself' he said, rolling back over and opening his bedside cabinet and pulling out a card.

Dixie sat up and opened the card, standing it on her bedside cabinet for the moment.

'Very nice thank you. And my present?'

Jeff sat up himself and reached back into the drawer of the cabinet, pulling out a small wrapped box.

Handing it to Dixie he watched as she unwrapped it and opened the box.

'It's an eternity ring'.

'It's beautiful thank you' Dixie said, picking it out of the box and giving it to Jeff to place on her finger before leaning in for a slow kiss.

Jeff put his hands under her top and gently stroked her back as they kissed before pulling it over her head.

'Lay down' he whispered.

Dixie did as she was told and watched as Jeff threw the duvet over the side of the bed before taking the edge of her pyjama bottoms, and beginning to pull them down as she lifted her hips.

Throwing them aside, he leant down over her tummy button and began to kiss a trail down her stomach.

'Open your legs' he instructed gently, and waited until Dixie had before climbing between them and laying down.

Kissing the inside of her thigh Jeff looked up to check Dixie was ok, but saw a small smile on her lips as she looked down at him, guessing what was going to happen.

Leaning down, Jeff began to use his tongue to draw patterns on her thigh, slowly making his way across to her sweet spot, where he expertly used his tongue and lips to suck and lick.

Hearing Dixie moan he felt her hand move to the back of his head, where she began to stroke him gently.

'You like that?' He asked, his lips brushing over her skin as he said it, his eyes meeting hers.

'Yes, don't stop', she replied, continuing to stroke his head.

Giving another little suck, Jeff heard her moan again, and watched as her other hand began to grab the bed sheets.

Dixie hadn't been treated to this in a very long time, and never by Jeff. She enjoyed being able to stroke Jeff's head as he did it, but had to use all her will power to be gentle due to the pleasure she was feeling.

Jeff really was good at this she thought, although she supposed he'd had plenty of experience with women, far more than she'd had with men.

Jeff began to stroke the inside of her thigh with his hand whilst he continued pleasuring her, watching as she closed her eyes and listened as her breathing became short and sharp. Feeling her hand move away from his head, he listened to her groan before she grabbed his hand and held it tightly, her whole body beginning to gently shake as she was brought closer to the edge.

'Jeff' she moaned, clutching the bed sheets even tighter with one hand, and Jeff's hand in the other.

'Ahhhh Jeff' she moaned even louder, as she began to move her hips against his tongue and lips.

Jeff smiled into her, feeling and tasting her body's natural reaction to this amount of pleasure. Watching as she tipped over the edge, Jeff heard her call his name even louder and continued working his tongue and lips until he had squeezed every last drop of pleasure out of her.

Feeling her hand relax it's grip and her body melt into the bed, Jeff began to make his way back up the bed.

'Happy birthday Princess'.

Dixie smiled and picked up her pyjama top from the side of the bed and began to wipe his mouth and nose before leaning in for a kiss.

'That always was my favourite' she said, as they pulled apart.

'I'll make a note of that' Jeff smiled at her, gently stroking her collar bone.

'Now it's your turn' Dixie said.

Quickly pulling off his top, Jeff laid down as Dixie moved down the bed and removed his pyjamas bottoms.

Beginning to stroke his leg, she slowly lowered her head and kissed his hip.

'Like for like' Dixie said giving his leg a gentle tug so that she could move in between.

'You mean you want to...' Jeff said, not quite believing his ears.

'If you'll show me how' Dixie replied. To be truthful, it wasn't that she wanted to, but rather that she wanted to do it for him. She knew how much she liked oral pleasure and suspected he would enjoy the same. She loved him, every last bit of him, and it was this that made her willing to perform this act of love.

Jeff smiled. He knew Dixie was willing to touch him, and wanted to sleep with him even, but he hadn't expected her to be so willing to do this. He knew she loved him but he thought that her being a lesbian would somehow prevent her from ever offering to do this. After all, touching a man is one thing, but willingly putting your mouth there is another.

'If you're really prepared to do this then we'd better do it in an easier position' Jeff said, knowing that her leaning over him would be less comfortable than her kneeling against the bed.

Sitting up, Jeff swung his legs over the edge of the bed before dropping a pillow in between them.

'Come here' he said gently, taking her hand and motioning her off of the bed and onto the floor in front of him.

'Kneel on the pillow'.

Dixie did as she was told and smiled up at him.

Jeff preferred this position because it meant that it would be easier for him to watch her and make sure that everything was ok. Looking down at her, he cupped her cheeks with his hands and began to speak.

'Do you want me to wear a condom?'.

'You mean so that I don't taste it when you orgasm?'.

'Yeah, some women don't like it'.

'I said like for like didn't I?'

'I know but as it's your first time'.

'Maybe with a man, but I have done similar sorts of things with women'.

'Ok, but if you want to stop then do. I won't be mad. You're more important to me than this'.

'Ok' Dixie said, turning her head to kiss his palm. 'Now show me what to do'.

'Just start by sliding me into your mouth, using your lips for pressure'.

Jeff watched as Dixie did as instructed, pulling back slowly when she was as far as she could manage.

Jeff began to enjoy the experience of an act he hadn't felt in years.

'Ok, now you can use your tongue to play with the tip when you pull back'.

Dixie gave it a try and heard Jeff's moan.

'That's wonderful Princess' Jeff said, looking down into her eyes and moving his hand to gently stroke her hair back from her face.

As Dixie settled into a rhythm, she became more confident with what she was doing and realised that it was actually more pleasant than she had anticipated. Hearing Jeff's moans she was glad that she had offered, as she could tell what kind of effect it was having on him.

Jeff looked down at his beautiful wife and smiled. He had been unsure as to whether this day would ever come, but knew that it was another step on Dixie's road to recovery and even greater proof that if they were never able to undertake actual penetration, then there would be plenty of ways for them to satisfy each other's sexual needs.

Leaning back slightly, Jeff's pleasure was increasing and just as Dixie had earlier, he felt the need to cling onto something. Grabbing the bed sheets in both hands, he moaned even louder, his need to watch Dixie to make sure everything was ok also providing him with visual stimulation.

Dixie looked up and could see Jeff looking down at her. Hitched breaths coming from his lips scattered with the occasional moan.

Lifting her left arm, she untangled Jeff's right hand from the sheet and took it in her own, wanting to hold her husband as he sat there completely vulnerable.

'Dix' Jeff groaned, holding her left hand tightly, whilst removing his left hand from the bed sheets to hold back the hair that had fallen across her beautiful blue eyes.

Dixie used her other hand to stroke the inside of his thigh. Normally at this point she would tell him how much she loved him, kiss him or whisper gentle words of love to him, but with her mouth already in use she had to show him with her touch how much he meant to her.

Stroking her thumb across the back of his hand, Dixie could feel from the strength of his grip that he was nearly there.

'You need...to...stop' Jeff groaned, knowing that he was close to the edge.

Looking into her eyes, he could tell that she was ignoring him.

'I'm...ahhhh...going to...mmmm...come' he moaned, gently pulling her head off of him, his body resisting completely.

'Let me' she said, wanting to give Jeff everything. She didn't care if things got a bit messy, it was him. All of him.

Jeff looked at her and could see that she meant it.

Nodding his head, he grabbed hold of the bed sheet once again with his left hand, whilst clutching Dixie's hand with his right.

Seeing and feeling her lips around him again was beginning to tip him over the edge and he had to use all his willpower to stop his hips from moving.

'Dixie' he groaned, clutching her hand even tighter, unable to hold on any longer. Looking down, their eyes met, and Jeff could see all the love that she held for him.

Dixie watched as his orgasm arrived, his face scrunched up in pleasure, her eyes never breaking from his. Stroking his leg as she felt him come into her mouth, Dixie was pleased she had continued to the end, enjoying the feeling of deep intimacy that this love making had provided.

Feeling the orgasm subside, Dixie pulled back and wiped her mouth clean. Watching Jeff lay back on the bed in pure exhaustion, she stood up and sat on the bed next to him, lowering herself down by his side.

'I thought you said you hadn't done that before' Jeff said slightly breathlessly.

'I'm glad you enjoyed it' she smiled, laying her hand on his chest.

'I loved it. I swear Dix, I don't care if you never manage to sleep with me because that was amazing'.

Dixie grinned 'you say that every time'.

'Well then take it as a complement on your excellent foreplay skills'.

'Thank you, you're not so bad yourself'.

'Come here you' Jeff smiled and pulled her in for a kiss.

'I'm so glad Annie left me' Dixie said as they parted.

'You and me both'.

'I don't think I could have ever made her happy. Not after what happened to me'.

'All you needed was a bit of TLC. If she couldn't give that to you, well then it was her loss'.

'You have given me more than that' Dixie replied, stroking his cheek and thinking about the party tomorrow night.

'But I give it willingly, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Watching you begin to flourish, both socially and sexually, it makes my heart burst with love and pride for the woman I married'.

Leaning her head on his chest, Dixie wrapped her arm around his stomach. 'I love you' she said whilst peppering little kisses on the skin beneath her head.

'I love you too' Jeff replied, moving his arms around her, settling in to a long gentle cuddle.

xxxxxxxx

'Get your glad rags on we're going out' Jeff called to Dixie when she came in from walking Little Abs.

'Where are we going?' She asked coming into the lounge to see him sitting on the sofa in a suit.

'To the best restaurant in town'.

'Nice, but I'll need at least an hour to get ready'.

'No problem, I figured you would, just thought I'd get ready and out of your way'

'Ok well I'd better jump in the shower then' Dixie smiled and headed out of the room and up the stairs.

Ninety minutes later Dixie came back downstairs and into the lounge.

'Where are you?' Dixie called, not finding Jeff where she expected him.

'I'm in the kitchen. Thought I'd get myself a drink whilst I waited' Jeff replied.

Walking towards the kitchen, Dixie stopped in the doorway.

'How do I look?' She asked somewhat nervously.

Jeff turned away from the sink to look at her.

'Wow Dix, you look amazing' Jeff exclaimed, taking in the pale pink dress, which just reached the bottom of her knee. Her waist nipped in by a band on black lace, and her shoulders covered with black laced sleeves. He admired her sexy slender legs and little black heels and thought that her subtle, natural make up made her look absolutely stunning.

Dixie smiled, glad that Jeff approved.

'Actually maybe I've changed my mind about dinner' Jeff said in a cheeky voice, looking her up and down whilst moving towards her.

'No chance' Dixie chuckled.

'A quick feel then eh?' Jeff asked cheekily when he reached her, leaning his crutches against the wall and placing his hands on her hips.

'Ha! What are you like?!' Dixie laughed, although not stopping him when he began to move his hands around to her bum, giving it a little squeeze.

Jeff grinned, before moving his hands upwards to continue his exploration.

'Come on you, or we'll never get there' Dixie said after a couple of moments, removing his hands from her chest and placing them back down by his sides.

'Spoil sport' Jeff replied, in mock sadness.

'Too right' Dixie smiled at him, before turning and making her way to the front door.

xxxxxxxx

As they walked into the restaurant, Dixie looked around, taking in the chandeliers and stunning table settings.

'Wow Jeff, this is beautiful'.

'Anything for you Princess'.

Once they were seated and had ordered Jeff took Dixie's hand in his own.

'Happy birthday Angel'

'I can't believe you've brought me here' Dixie replied smiling at him.

'Only the best for my girl'.

'It's been a long time since I've been called a girl'

'And yet I'm sure you still look just as beautiful'.

'You smooth talker!'

Jeff grinned. 'Who would have thought a year ago that we'd be sitting here as just another romantic couple?'

'Definitely not me, I would have bet the house on it!'

'And yet here we are, a happily married couple in every sense of the word'.

'It's strange the way life takes us'.

'Yep, and if it wasn't for your dad not knowing that you're a lesbian, or Lucy kicking me out, this would never have happened'

'Every cloud and all that'

'Exactly. Not come on, let's look at the menu, my stomach thinks my throats been cut!'

Dixie laughed, and picked up her menu opening it to the starters.


End file.
